My fiance and my cousin started off on a rocky road between each other. My cousin started this beef between them and I have tried to end it but no matter what I do, things continue to get worse. It even got to the point where my cousin tried to fight my fiance, my girlfriend at the time. I stopped it from happening but that was the last straw, things haven't been the same between my cousin and I since it happened. My other cousins are following her lead and have treated my fiance like a pariah. She is definitely hurt and I understand why but I don't know what to do. We are getting married in June and she doesn't want them to come to the wedding. I have still tried to get them to warm up to her but, no go. I don't know what to do, I love my family but I realize they are jerks at times, but I also love my fiance and want to marry her and stay with her forever. How do I make things better for my fiance and not lose my family at the same time?
2007-11-01 12:12:15 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
She didn't do anything, in my opinion. My cousin feels lke because she walked in on us in a sexual situation and since then has called her names like, hoe.
2007-11-01 12:21:41 · update #1
Have a smaller wedding, then only invite your closest relatives. That may cause some problems, but your family, especially your cousins, should come second behind your fiancee. This is her day, not theirs, and she has the right to as stress-free a day as possible.
Another alternative would be a destination wedding. (Hardly anyone goes to those except very close family & friends.)
Good luck & best wishes.
2007-11-01 12:37:40 · answer #1 · answered by Winterskye 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
and she is still by your side after all that? she is one tough cookie! Why didnt you let them fight? lol! j/k anyway maybe you need to let them know that she's not an outcast or a stranger, she's gonna be your wife! If they are not respectful to her then you shouldnt worry about them they are trouble makers! the one cousin is just jealous that you have a beautiful lady on the side and the attention is no longer on her. Its sad but more than likely true. If your fiance feels more comfortable without them around then forcing her into a situation will make her put her guard up. Im sure that your fiance never wanted any trouble and she just wanted to fit in. Give her that extra push to make her feel like she is the top woman. Because once you get married you guys have eachother first and everyone else comes second
2007-11-02 07:55:38 · answer #2 · answered by Krissy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would definitely tell your cousins to grow up. Make it clear to your cousin that unless they act like adults and are courteous to your new bride they will not be invited to the wedding. Plain and simple. It is your wedding day and you can invite or not invite whoever you want. If you feel they will cause a scene and act rude do not invite them. I would also make it clear ot your aunts/uncles and parents that the treatment of your fiance is childish and rude and that the cousins will not be invited if it continues.
That way the decision is in their hands if they are mad and defensive and still talking and acting ugly, then the decision is easy for you. I would definitely suggest being calm and respectful wen you talk to them. Also tell your fiance to be kind and courteous. I find that this is teh best way to get back at childish people, it really makes them mad when they see that their behavior has no effect on you.
I'm sorry you are in this situation but it seems that the best thing is to probably not invite them, but talk to them first and give them a chance to grow up!
2007-11-01 12:53:17 · answer #3 · answered by Reba 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like to me that you cousins need to grow up and you need to show them how much your fiance means to you. Because what they are doing is kinda crappy. By the way what happened in the first place to make your cousins hate your fiance so much?
2007-11-01 12:16:26 · answer #4 · answered by linsey_runnels 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you love her and want to "stay w/her forever",
sounds like your relationship w/cousin is over!
You tried to get them to warm up, so you did
what you could. To bad for them. Good Luck!
2007-11-01 14:37:48 · answer #5 · answered by Cher 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are your cousins girls? Maybe they just like you so much that they don't like the imperfections of you fiance.
Are they evil enough to harass her every time they get? Leave them alone if that's the case.
2007-11-01 12:16:52 · answer #6 · answered by Coin 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋