Newlywed question!?

Question

I just got married and am trying to adjust to the married life.Sometimes its hard to get along (of course) with each other and just everything from day to day.Dose anyone have any advice for me or something they have found to be helpfull?By the way I got married when I was 18 my hubby is19. Thanks

Answer 1

Lots of communication. It took me and my soon to be about three months before we add a system down and learned each others bad habits, what we liked and disliked and how we could fix our personal issues! Lots and lots of talking and be honest, but be kind. Don't try to change each other because it wont work.

Pick and choose your battles.......His sock are on the floor again.......isn't worth the it.......He hasn't helped around the house all week because he is to busy playing his video game ....is a hole another story.

Best wishes and good luck remember why you wanted to marry him when you get frustrated, makes the small things go away.

Answer 2

My advise: Just because you are married does not mean your whole way of life has to change. Keep doing things with your friends. Sure adjust your life to do the bills, groceries, etc..the normal married every day life stuff together..but that doesn't mean you two can't still have a life separate of your married couple life.

My husband and I still do things alone, or with our separate friends, and we have worked very hard to maintain our lifestyles so that we are both happy in our relationship..this has worked out well for us. We spend alot of time together, but we are also good at "allowing" each other to go do things on our own too.

Answer 3

Wow. You married rather young.

My best advice is to communicate...ALWAYS. Sometimes you and your husband are going to strongly disagree with one another. Use that as a chance to learn and grow not just individually, but as a couple. Fight fair and don't insult each other. If you need space, give it. If he needs time with his buddies, don't put him on a short leash and say he can't go. Same goes for him with you.

Be courteous and respectful as often as you can (realistically, it can't be all the time). Pay each other compliments. Do something nice without expecting something back. Be supportive and encouraging of one another's goals and ambitions.

Do whatever you can to make your marriage work and don't run at the first sign of trouble. Your marriage can and will last if you put forth 100 percent effort from both of you.

Best of luck to you!

Answer 4

The best thing I've learned being married is patience. Honestly there are times when I'd like to speak up and complain about something but I take a second to think if it's worth starting a fight over, most of the time it's not worth it. If I get mad because he won't put his dishes away, it's easier just to put them away for him instead of starting a fight.

Also, to get a guy to do something, like take out the trash, don't tell him to do it. Give him an option, "Do you mind helping me, you can take out the trash or clean fold the laundry." Then he'll think he's the one in control because he gets to make the decision (so he thinks). It really does work.

Answer 5

Learn now to talk to each other! If you need to go to a counselor to do this then do it now while the marriage is young. It is one of the most important things in marriage.
Living together is having a common goal to work toward. Are you talking about budgeting to buy a house one day? Go for walks, work out together, cook together, learn something new together...
Marriage is just the best friendship you will ever have if you both work at it!

Answer 6

Congratulations! well don't worry there is a reson why they say Good Luck! Marriage is difficult and it takes love, work and patience.

So with that said always remember to "Equally compromise" you are young and you should never lose friends we all need them. So example he wants to go with the guys and you want to girl talk with your girls - so go your separate ways for about 3 hrs let's say for dinner and later all meet up around 10 pm at a club. Note: you both got your free time but by meeting eachother after you reassure each other that you love them and trust them but you are both going home together.

Go to Happy hour when you don't feel like cooking meet him there like a date (see where it goes).

Compromises like that will endure your marriage- remember it's a two-way street now.

Answer 7

It's been 22 years and I'm still trying to figure this one out!!!
You need to learn to be patient with each other. Try not to raise your voices when you're angry. Very important, think before you speak, because words can hurt worse than fists!

Say I Love You every day

You don't have to give up your individual identities just because you're married. Find things to do alone.

Give each other room to breathe.

Answer 8

when upset about something.. do ever start a statement with the word "you".. like you make me feel like bla bla bla... say "i" feel.. when you say "you" your husband will automatically go into defensive mode and defend himself by disagreeing with everything you say.. and ALWAYS talk out your problems so that there is less a chance of it happening again.. and a very important thing to remember is that you will not change anyone.. you have to learn how to change how certain things affect you... and dont take everything personally.. even though everything we do we think about our husbands, men's minds do not operate that way, so they are not always thinking "what would my wife think about this"... and thats not that hes being unthoughtful.. thats just men.. they just do things.. without much thought before hand!

Answer 9

See if you can find the book, 'The Truth about Love' by Pat Love Ed. D. GREAT book. It will help you understand love, relationships, the ups & downs & what's important to you both & getting your needs met.

Answer 10

Learn to pick your battles.

Good luck :)