I've been dating my boyfriend for almost 2 years now and i dont know if this is normal but im starting to feel like things are getting dull. Here's the scoop: my boyfriend never knew his dad and his whole life he's lived with his mom, little brother and grandma and his mom was the only sort of income they had, so needless to say they didn't have much money. At the begginning things were okay i accepted the fact that he didnt have much money and most of the time i offered to pay because if i didnt then we would be stuck at home or just doing nothing. now 2 years later he has a great job at the hilton making about just the same amount of money as i do but strangely im still paying for things such as our dinners movies etc. & whenever i bring this up he gets mad and defensive and he honestly expects me to pay. and also he smokes weed alot and ALWAYS has money to spend on that habit. I love him but i dont know what to do. I need help.
2007-11-01 11:24:04 · 12 answers · asked by daniellenlc 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Chances are he's blowing a lot of his pay on the drugs and doesn't have a lot left over for other things. You have definitely gotten to stage in your relationship where you both have to really want it to work, and work on it. Sit him down and TELL him that a) he has a good paying job now, and will have to start paying for some things at least and b) if he's spending too much on weed, that is his problem, not yours, and you refuse to pay for anything any more if he's just wasting all his pay on drugs. If the drug taking bothers you, let him know you can't date a man who is ruining his body and mind with that stuff. If he truly cares for you (and himself), he will quit. If he's not willing to work on the relationship, you need to just WALK AWAY from him. It will be hard, but it will get to the stage where you resent him so much you'll end up breaking up anyway. I hope this helps.
2007-11-01 11:38:54 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You love him so you will be a codependant, and let him spend his money on drugs, while you work and get nothing. Do you want to be his mother and take care of him for the rest of your life? One way to stop this is demand he pay, and if the weed is more important than going out, then you know where you stand.If this goes any farther,you will be the one working, and he will start spending your money on harder drugs, and say"you just don't understand me" It's time to wake up and see what your future is going to be like if you stay with him. If someone else wrote this question, how would you answer it?
2007-11-01 11:34:46 · answer #2 · answered by LIPPIE 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He has gotten so used to you paying for everything that now he thinks that it is his RIGHT to have you pay for everything. Either sit him down and talk to him about at least sharing the cost of your outings, or get used to paying for everything forever. You are being used. You felt sorry for him and now you are stuck in a relationship that is never going to work out as an equal partnership. Get rid of him, or get used to it, because he is never going to change, trust me. He's not much of a man if he expects you to support him, and that's what you will end up doing if you stay with him. Surely there are some nice men where you live who will be better suited to you, and will act like a man and not expect you to pay for everything.
2007-11-01 11:33:27 · answer #3 · answered by kathi1vee 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he kind of sounds like my x when he first moved down to live closer to me he didnt have a job so at the beggining i didnt mind then he got a job and he started making good money and he would hide the money and would tell me that he had to pay bills and then i found out he was lying to me and honey we dated for 3 years and that was alway the issue if a guys does that to you all the time is not worth it now im with a wonderful guy that takes care of me but its not like that I work too but he pays for stuff too thats what i meant.
2007-11-01 11:30:40 · answer #4 · answered by Belki C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As much as you might hate to hear this your boyfriend sounds like a bit of a jerk. I can understand paying for him in the beginning when you had a job and wanted to go out but after two years and him getting a job there's no reason he can't pay for things here and there. After all, you paid for him for two years, is it honestly going to kill him to pay for something for once?
Tell him he needs to start paying for stuff because you're not responsible for both of you.
2007-11-01 11:29:19 · answer #5 · answered by Sar 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should break up with him big time guys are suppose to buy and pay for everything for girls it's the whole point of dating a boy your dating a jeark sister i feel your pain sister
2016-04-01 23:22:16 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When I was dating I never expected the girl to pay for anything. He apparently isn't much of a Gentleman.
I also would not recommend going out with a guy with bad habbits... drugs, alcohol, gambling.... especially if they don't have a job that can support their addiction.
2007-11-01 11:44:58 · answer #7 · answered by Darren 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are dating a user, and I don't mean the pot! Dump him unless you enjoy getting walked on. I know you love him, and it will hurt to walk away. But it is in your best interest to find someone who does not take advantage of you. If things are DULL, it's because he makes you do everything for the relationship while he sits back to enjoy the ride.
2007-11-01 11:31:52 · answer #8 · answered by Sunshine Buttercup 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you lay down like a rug, you're going to get walked on. Stop making excuses for this guy. He is not the only guy in the world. Face the music, he's using you, and you are enabling him.
Love yourself, and others will follow.
2007-11-01 11:31:17 · answer #9 · answered by jmiller 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he needs to be your ex-boyfriend. Life is too short to waste it in a bad relationship. Show him the door, when you find a man who treats you well, you will wonder why you wasted 2 years on a self centered loser.
2007-11-01 11:30:08 · answer #10 · answered by Don Drapers woman 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋