ONe of my close friends is getting married. Her fiance is trying to get with me and apprantly she is aware of this. I have a boyfriend and I wouldn't do anything anyway...should i tell her? should i still be her bridesmaid? HELP pleeeeease!!!!
2007-11-01 11:04:30 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
When I say get with me, I mean he is sending me texts begging me to sleep with him.
2007-11-01 11:05:03 · update #1
First you say that "apparently she is aware of this" and then you ask "should I tell her". Make up your mind. Either she knows or she doesn't know. If she is truly aware of the situation, it just could be that she is a game-playing beeyotch and knows about the text messages. 1. She may be testing you to see if you are a true friend. 2. She may be in cahoots with her fiance to see if you would cheat on your boyfriend.3. She might be setting a trap for you to see if you respond to his texts and then have a reason for cutting you out of bridal party. In ANY of these circumstances, she is a cow and NOT a "close friend" at all. And - by the way - if you are responding to the guy's text messages, even to say to drop dead, you are encouraging him. Next time you girls are together and the boyfriend does not know it, leave your phone open on the table. If a text comes in, pretend you don't know the sender and loudly say "Hmmn..does anyone know who ** is?" Then hold up the phone message for all to see and read. If she blows her stack, then she doesn't know he's a player and then it is also up to HER to be smart and call off the wedding. If she laughs, then she is a fool, not a friend, and someone to stay away from because God only knows what tricks she would pull at YOUR wedding!! Good luck. And, by the way, having an engaged guy send you texts or appear to be lusting after you is NOT a compliment!! Any guy who texts a girl enquiring about possibility of "sleeping" (and we know it wouldn't be SLEEPING) with her is basically stating that he thinks she is an easy mark, a sleep-around ho or a cheap one-night-stand. Ignore the idiot! I'm undecided about telling your own boyfriend. It depends how close you are and how much he totally trusts you. If he sees the texts, he might blow up as he would wonder how the dude got your number and what you did to encourage this kind of messages. On the other hand, if you call him up and cry and tell him you're really upset and then tell him why, he might just take the problem out of your hands by confronting the idiot himself!! If this happens, be prepared for EVERYONE to wonder if you've been flirting or exchanging texts for awhile. A jealous fiancee is NOT going to be on your side so be prepared for him to lie and her to believe. (I hope you haven't paid for your bridesmaid dress!)
2007-11-01 11:27:38 · answer #1 · answered by Wifeforlife 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't be her bridesmaid because I don't support a marriage when the bride or groom is marrying a lying scumbag. Essentially, unless you object during the wedding, it's assumed that people come to the wedding to support the bride and groom and because they're happy for them. Do you support them and are you happy to see your friend waltz down the isle to marry Mr. Happy Pants? Talk to your friend. She needs to know what's going on. She might get mad at first, but if she decides to leave this jerk them she'll be happy for you telling her. Don't be a bridesmaid. If your friend does go through with this and you still are a bridesmaid then he'll have more of a chance to trying to get with you and you don't want that.
2007-11-01 18:48:21 · answer #2 · answered by Rockit 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You need to tell her that her fiance wants to sleep with you.
First of all, what your friend SHOULD do is dump her fiance.
You already have a boyfriend, so you should tell him so, and tell your boyfriend that that man is hitting on you, so he can protect you.
I do not think you should still be her bridesmaid because there shouldn't still be a wedding.
Your friend needs to rethink who she wants to marry. Someone who wants to sleep with your best friend while you're engaged and about to be married doesn't sound like a great husband to me. They may have had some good times, but that's not how relationships work. You really need to help you friend to dump him, and fast. Sorry, but that's the way it has to be if he's acting like that.
2007-11-01 18:14:32 · answer #3 · answered by xosummerskies 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would never be a bridesmaid of a marriage I wouldn't support, and I would NOT support this one considering he's TEXTING you to sleep with him!
I would show the bride the texts you are getting and hope she reconsiders the marriage. If she goes with it, just go as a guest and not in the bridal party, as those positions are for those who support the relationship.
2007-11-02 01:42:39 · answer #4 · answered by Terri 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Regardless you need to tell her BUT!!!! most likely she will tell you your lying and/or tell you you are jealous that she's getting married and your not. Be ready because nine out of ten the guy will have a way to convince her that it's you pursuing him and guess what you will lose your friend. She may never want to talk to you again and of course won't want you in the wedding.
Good luck! I sure hope she takes your side.
2007-11-01 18:23:34 · answer #5 · answered by Lidi 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would hope that you wouldn't be in this wedding. You shouldn't support her marrying him because something obviously isn't right. You ARE treading on crazy waters though. She may not believe you if you just TELL her about all this. But, I would start keeping texts and such and show her them. That way, she will start to "get it".
2007-11-01 23:43:51 · answer #6 · answered by hokeygurl019 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should tell her...but be cautious. Even if she realizes it she may not want to face it becuase she is probably all caught up in the wedding bliss and wants everything to go perfectly. I am sure that she will still want you to be her bridesmaid if she still marries this guy. You should probably include how you know/suspect that he is "trying to get with you"
2007-11-01 18:08:48 · answer #7 · answered by >Jess< 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Wow. Keep those text messages. Did you delete them? I hope not because you now have proof. The next time he sends you a perverted message, save it then show it to your close friend. She deserves to know about this before getting married.
2007-11-01 21:02:30 · answer #8 · answered by Jasmine808 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you are a true friend, you need to tell her. You won't be the first or the last that he cheats on her with, you'll save her from heartache. However, she may shoot the messenger, he'll probably deny it, but then you do have the texts. She may blame you for her engagement breaking up!
2007-11-01 18:58:58 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you have hard evidence then I think I would proabably talk to her. It's not a rumor, and it's about you, therefore it is not gossip.
It will likely end the relationship (yours I mean) but if she finds out later she'll be even madder that you didn't tell her.
But be prepared, If she doesn't want to hear it, then you will have to live with the fact that you will likely be cut from her life.
2007-11-01 20:28:06 · answer #10 · answered by apbanpos 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋