..Help.. feel so low...?

Question

..all my friends are in relationships, are having children, have got/or are getting married. I'm happy for them but I feel so lonely. They ask me a lot 'have I met anyone?'and I laugh it off but inside it hurts. I was in a relationship for 6 years, 3 years ago (it was amazing, and he was one of the most beautiful people I've ever met but I ended our relationship because he couldn't make any commitment which broke my heart and I still feel regret over it.Now I hear he is engaged to a woman he has only known a year). The truth is I would like to have relationship but I don't feel in the right place to be with anyone and don't feel worthy of anyone. I know this sounds pathetic, but I feel I can't move on as no-one compares to this man. I'm 31 (sorry I sound13!!) and know I'm not getting any younger. Please help, I want to enjoy being single!!!! x

Answer 1

Just because those people are off and getting married doesn't mean they are going to be happy in the long run...I hope they are but not a lot of people these days can stick to something for so long before getting tired of it...
Let go of everyone else's lives...get that off your shoulder and move on with your life, it's tough I know...but you're right you're 31 sounding 13...Go out and do what you want to do while you still can and stop worrying about what other people are doing! Life wont be here forever, so go enjoy it!
As for this 'man' that wouldn't commit...he probably left the woman of his dreams aka you and landed himself in what he deserves for not holding on to something with you. Watch instead of them being together for 6 years at all...they'll probably start fighting non-stop, and end up getting a divorce somewhere on down the line but hey that doesn't matter it has nothing to do with you and your life...he is the past and for some reason it was just not meant to be let him go and move on...you don't have to be in a relationship to be happy. It sounds like to me that you're not even happy with yourself...How do you expect for you to be happy with someone if you aren't with yourself? Chill out go out have fun find out who you are! Don't rely on a relationship to decide your happiness...learn how to enjoy your life to the fullest while it's still at your fingertips!
Good Luck to you and I hope your life adventure is fantastic on the way!

Answer 2

hey, don't worry about the 13 thing, this place is here for people like us, not really them.

1. I'm sure if this guy did that to you, that you can find someone that can at worst compare to him. You certainly deserve better than that.

2. Don't worry about your friends and your age, you're still quit young, my parents were in their late thirties when I was born. Don't think that all the good ones are taken, and don't rush into something because of despiration. You're doing the right thing, take your time and find what you really want.

3. If you want to enjoy being single then do! Think about all the things you won't be able to do when you are married / pregnant / with kids and do them all now! Go out, drink, and have fun on the weekends, I'm sure that you know one single person to go out with, or maybe one of your married friends will go with you.

Remember, you're married friends should be jealous of YOU not the other way around (and they probably are). You are so hung on the marriage that should have happend and didn't that you are preventing the one that will. If things had gone according to plan you would be in the same position as your friends, probably wishing you were single as much as they do. Don't look at it like the train you missed, look at it as the bullet you dodged.

Answer 3

Never to sound flippant or even dismissive of the feelings you have for this man, but could it be that you are trying to make your intended mate (whoever he may end up being or was ) live up to a dream or unrealistic idea of what and who the perfect man should be? Really, it may also be that you need to accept and love yourself. 3 years is a long time to be holding on to someone that seems to have gone on with their life. What are you waiting for?? Life is for the living, you can be scared, but you must keep on living. You make it what you want it to be. You can move, and how can you think no one can compare if you give no one else a chance. Girl, be strong face foward and live. One step at a time you have to get out to meet people. You have to get out to find yourself and do things that help you make and be the better you. Wish him well and let go. Then you can move on and you never know life laughter and love could be just waiting.

Answer 4

I was the first of my friends to have a kid and will be the last to get married. Go figure. I know how it feels to feel a little left out sometimes. But your friends are friends for a reason. Talk to them and try to let them know how you're feeling. At least they've all been single before so they should be able to relate. Call them up and schedule a girls night out at your favorite bar or club or whatever you like to do for fun - no guys, no kids. Or maybe a girls night in. Invite your girlfriends over to your place, rent some movies, do a craft project, hire a massage therapist or manicurist to come over for the evening - whatever you enjoy. you need to reconnect with your girlfriends.
As for Mr. Right, he'll come along one of these days and when he does, you'll be ready for him. Keep in mind that God knows what He's doing. If you missed the hint the first time around, he'll keep throwing it at you. Just keep your eyes, ears, and heart open. All kinds of possibilites are around you.

Hang in there!

Answer 5

The first thing you need to do is quit looking. Just go out and have fun and enjoy being single. When the right person comes along you will know it.
You need to learn to be happy living with yourself before you can make anyone else happy. Men like strong woman that can stand on there own two feet and that aren't clingy and needy. They will date weak woman, but when it comes to marring they will leave the play-toys behind and find the real thing to keep

Answer 6

Been there!! Dont over think it . Just get involved in something find a passion focus on the picture of yourself that you want to eventually become and work toward that goal!that way you will be in the right place when Mr. Right comes along. and who know maybe he will like the same things you do. Remember, if you dont want a drinker for a mate dont pick up a boyfriend in a bar..etc,....if you want someone athletic look at guys who are into that type of stuff.
Good luck!!

Answer 7

Why don you join a night school or a club or something that way it will be something you enjoy and you will get to meet people that like the same thing you could make new friends and get out of the house while doing it to

Answer 8

This is the time when you learn to love yourself more and to think of yourself as your own person.
You learn to love yourself and be at home with yourself, then you'll be able to love others and be at home with them.
Now's the time to take a trip, find a single homegirl and head overseas. Go see the world! Sit on your money and save it up, go have yourself a good time with it!
don't think about relationships and babies. I know it's hard, but don't. Focus on YOU. Be good to YOU. Love YOU.
Everything else will fall into place eventually.

Answer 9

O tough one but you just need to forget about him and just try to block him from your mind especiously if you still like him because yo might do something stupid and mess up his marriage and then he'll never forgive you and you wont be able to be friends with him an if you trying to stay single then you should get a dog their great for keeping you company but you shouldnt wait to long to start dateing because then theres the possibelity of growing old and alone

Answer 10

sound so familiar...like me. You have to be patient, besides, if after 6 years you didn't move in the direction you thought y'all should've, then it's good you broke it off. Be strong and have confidence that your decision was the best for YOU! Your man will come along