I'm dating this girl and i really like her. we've been dating for like a month and a half, but it feels longer since, i feel like its a very serious relationship.
my problem is, i think we may have gone a little to far. i mean, i really like her and everything, and i liked it, but idk maybe what we did was bad. no i didnt **** her but yesterday we were making out (which is fine) and she takes my phone and drops it down her shirt. i already told her if she did that i would go get it. so i did. and then i was feeling up on her. and i thought to myself, wow this is awsome, but maybe its like against everything i stand for. i'm a strong christian and dont believe in sex b4 marraige. did i do wrong?
also, suprisingly enough SHE is usally the one that makes a lot of the things happen in the relationship. whenever i would kiss her she would give toungue. when we would make out it almost seemed like she wanted me to touch her. i'm fine with the state i'm at, however...h.o. adding more
2007-11-01 10:23:21 · 4 answers · asked by random bailey 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
however if the time comes where she tries to make a move on me to have sex, i really want to resist the urge, but idk if i will if i'm caught up in the moment. how can i prevent my hormones from getting the best of me, especially if she starts to encourage it/ i mean i really dont think i will ever get to that state with her but just in case i would love some advice to be ready in the event that it actually happened. thank u everyone who even bothered to read it if u dont have an answer say something anyways cuz u deserve the 2 points
2007-11-01 10:25:19 · update #1
Wow... you're old fashioned... but do you know that some people consider petting as sex as well?
I was in your position before, being old fashioned as stuff. But then I realized that in this day and age, such thing is often not realistic. Most girls expect some form of physical intimacy once you go out with her after some time. Lacking that, and she'll think that you're not interested in her or you're "incapable".
I can't tell you to go against your principle, cause you probably shouldn't. However, you may have more difficulties in finding someone than other guys because not many believe in your old fashioned principle.
In conclusion, if you believe that your principle is the most important thing for you, stand by it and avoid any activity that may lead you to abandon your principle (such as petting and french kissing). If it's not the most important, you can learn to get more "up to date" slowly. Just don't rush into doing things that may shock you afterward.
Note:
I'm Christian as well and I don't know if the Bible told you not to have sex before marriage. It says not to commit adultery, but what is adultery? To me adultery means cheating or prostituting, not having sex with someone you're in love with. But that's just me... You may have a different view... Bible is very complicated and everyone interprets it differently.
2007-11-01 10:28:25 · answer #1 · answered by sir_b_man 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
#1. No you didn't do anything wrong, however I have to wonder about her character as a person if she let you "feel her up" after only almost wo months. Maybe I am just shy but my boyfriend had to wait six months to even see me in a bra, and seven to even get to touch me. But like you say it is a serious relationship and everyone is different.
#2. If she really cares about you then she won't put you in a position to compromise your values. Do you understand what I am saying? If someone really cares for you then that means they respect you and what you stand for, they accept all of you not just one or two things. My boyfriend has never put me in a position where I felt pressured to do anything I didn't want to. If we are making out and things are heated he always asks me if I want him to stop, or if he is bothering me. Just talk to her. Tell her that you care for her but you do not belivein sex before marriage, so please don't let you get carried away.
#3. You can stop yourself even if you want it really bad, trust me. Even though it is really hard and it sucks, you are in control not your hormones
2007-11-01 17:41:48 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
just tell her how u feel, i am the same way tho... none til marriage. u have the urge to go more but u hav to resist it. no u didnt do wrong... u didnt hav sex with her so i wouldnt think its wrong. im a girl and i hav gotten oral before and i hav the same beliefs as u. but i dont count it as doing wrong cus it wont get me into trouble like the real thing.
2007-11-01 17:32:26 · answer #3 · answered by baggy22pants 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I admire u so much for ur belief of sex b4 marriage. you forgot to mention how old are you though , I will say if your old enough and if u think you're responsible enough to handle whatever circumstances of the actions your doing then go for it........ enjoy life but dont forget the responsibilities that lies with it ......Good luck
2007-11-01 17:54:51 · answer #4 · answered by beenthr 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋