Parent issues...?

Question

I'm 16 years old and I'm having some trouble getting my parents to understand something. I keep telling them about how I have paruresis (I actually told them every day for a month, plus countless times besides that), but they just don't care and have even flat-out told me that I don't really have a problem, I'm just making it up, etc. I am a member of the paruresis.org forum, and everyone there has been supportive, but they keep telling me to see a doctor, read these certain books (only available online, of course...), etc., but I can't do anything that would help because my parents won't let me. Am I just doing something wrong in communicating with them, or are they being crappy parents? This is very frustrating for me because it's messing up my life and they just think it's funny and not a real problem. (In general, they treat me fairly well, but whenever I have a real problem, they find it more convenient to just ignore it than to help me solve it.)

If it makes a difference, I've had this problem since I was 7. My mom is constantly trying to make it worse by standing outside the door while I'm on the bathroom, talking to me while I'm trying to go, etc.

Also, at my school, all the counselors do is tell us what classes to take to get into college and yell at people who are failing. They don't care about the students at all beyond that.

Answer 1

My daughter had a problem (a different one than yours) when she was your age. I didn't take it seriously either. I don't know why. Perhaps like your parents, I was in denial.

She went to see her school counsellor and spoke to her about her problems. Her counsellor called me on the phone. I then woke up and was aware how much a problem my daughter was going through and took her to doctors to remedy the situation.

So, I'd advise going to your school counsellor and having the counsellor calling your folks. When parents here this type of news from a professional, they often take it more seriously than when they hear it from their own kid. Give it a try. Good luck and feel better.

And I researched paruresis btw. It can be fixed. So hang in there.

Answer 2

Paruresis is a definite problem that is shared by many. Use the suggestions of your support group. Read and gather as much information as possible--the more you know, the better you'll be able to cope. I don't know if your parents are being crappy, they just don't have the problem, so they don't understand. How long have you had a "shy bladder". If this is a recent occurrence you definitely need to see a doctor or psychologist. If you've had this problem all your life, you need to take a proactive approach now. You can gradually desensitize yourself to your surroundings and learn to urinate more freely. It would be better if your parents, especially your mother was more helpful in helping you to overcome this problem. Holding urine leads to bladder and kidney infections.