okay i met this guy and weve known each other for about a month and ive given him a hug and he does things that make it seem like he likes me but he doesnt like to talk hes never had a girlfriend and hes had a bad childhood what do i do without pressuring him and scaring him away?? help please!!
2007-11-01 10:14:19 · 18 answers · asked by junebug 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You gave him a hug??!?!?! You guys need to slow it down a bit.
2007-11-01 10:17:36 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, you made it clear that you are aware of the fact that he's had a bad childhood and that he's never had a girlfriend before. Patience is the number one thing that you need to have if you really do like this guy. I am not sure of how old this guy is or how old you are, but if he's in his 20's or older, there has to be something more going on with this guy (being that he has never had a girlfriend). I feel that if you and/or he is in your 20s, you should at least have some idea of what kind of person you are inside, what you like and don't like, and what you are willing to put up with or go through to be with someone that you have not yet fallin in love with. Being that he had a bad childhood (I am not sure of what it consist of), you have to ask yourself if you are willing to take the chance and work through it with him because what he experienced as a child might have messed him up mentally as an adult. That also could be the reason as to why he have not yet had a girlfriend.
If I knew your age, it would help me out to say this...If you really do like this guy and have decided that you are willing to do whatever it takes to make it work, I would suggest that you do not judge him, be patient when talking to him, take things slow, and don't ask him to reveal things about himself if he is not ready to. You have to build trust with him. I am not sure if you are a good communicator when it comes to relationships or conversing with others, but let him know that you will always be there and listen to him anytime he would like to talk.
Being that I am a 26 yo female, I personally know that I can not be with someone that I can not communicate with; especially if that person does not open up to me. I have learned alot about myself and what I like and don't like. I know that I am not comfortable being around someone who has a lot of baggage from childhood and who can not open up to me because I am a gentle and easy person to talk to and get along with. If this person has childhood issues, he would have to resolve those first. I would say just be friends. Good luck to you.
2007-11-01 10:36:35 · answer #2 · answered by Lovely Ladie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what i would do is bit by bit every day I'd start a small conversation with him. if it veers toward any pressure point talk about something else or stop talking. be friendly and always in a good mood. revolve on him, guys love that. don't talk about his childhood, family, etc. just things he's accomplished and what he does in his spare time. ask him how he's doing everyday and keep up your happy and friendly spirit. once you've been doing that for awhile start hanging out and talking with him more and more each day. hopefully you guys will have good chemistry!
2007-11-01 10:22:31 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you considered these could be signs that maybe you should back off. You may get more than you bargained for, if he's never had a girlfriend and has had a bad childhood. . he may have "issues." But you insist on pursuing this anyway, I'd just say be a friend
2007-11-01 10:23:57 · answer #4 · answered by Cris 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he's never had a relationship he's
a. unsure how to act
b. not wanting to blow the potential by coming on to strong
c. not sure what to do regarding the physical part of the relationship.
You need to become his best friend. Then work on getting him to tell you how he feels about the relationship/physical part. Guys think they are supposed to be like a light switch, you just flip them on and they are good to go. Could be he's good to go, but he's embarrassed to show it. Maybe there was a party in his pants and you weren't invited - if you get my drift. Odds are he just doesn't know how to advance it to the next step. Get him to talk about it.
2007-11-01 10:21:53 · answer #5 · answered by Fester Frump 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In order for people to open up to you, they must feel comfortable. Do not ask him direct questions. Perhaps, you should open up to him first. Always make him feel like your someone that he can trust. If your aware of his troubling childhood, you already know something. Time will open more doors and windows. Just take it slow. A damaged past can be hard for him and helping you to understand might be even harder if he hasn't come to terms with it himself.
2007-11-01 10:20:09 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he likes you he will show you...In little ways. It sounds like he is a little shy. As of right now just be a good friend to him. When he is ready to be more than just friends he will let you know. Don't come on to him really strong, that might scare him away.
Good Luck!
2007-11-01 10:18:18 · answer #7 · answered by Don't be taken for granted! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a question I see far too often on Yahoo! Answers, so I created a blog to address it:
www.myspace.com/thedavezone
It's in the upper right hand side under "PROBLEMS" and you don't have to join myspace to view it.
2007-11-01 10:18:38 · answer #8 · answered by thedavecorp 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
im no expert in relationship's but he's probably shy because its his first time with a girl, so talk to him a bit more and ask what he's like and hopefully he will open up tell you why he's like the way he is.
2007-11-01 10:20:28 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk about yourself. People are more likely to talk about themselves when the subject is about who you are. Once he notices how open you are about yourself, maybe he'll be less afraid to talk to you.
Some people are quieter than others, you just need to bring out the openness in them.
2007-11-01 10:17:27 · answer #10 · answered by Butch Cassidy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
uh, well if you want to make the first move then i think that you should just flirt with him more and make it really obvious that you like him and see what happens. if you are comfortable with making the first move and after a while he doesn't do it then you should go ahead and do it
2007-11-01 10:17:54 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋