I've been dating 2 women since about Jan of this year. They both knew what was going on. After a long time sitting on the fence I was going to choose woman A. But woman B is now pregnant. I dont want to leave her to be a single mother but Im in love with the other woman.
Woman A lives out of state and has a 7 yr old son of her own. She is still willing to come down and be with me. Woman B lives here and has no children. I made the decision to be with woman B for the baby. They both know that. Both know that I'd rather be with woman A. I'm very frustrated and do not want to continue this "relationship" w/ woman B. I dont want to feel a constant animosity towards her and the relationship. But Im not happy.
Anyone have any thoughts....?
2007-11-01 09:30:55 · 11 answers · asked by Moester 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Damn hunn, you got yourself in a jam..
First, I won't be your judge and jury. I have not walked in your shoes, nor have I lived behind your walls, so my advice comes straight from the heart..
However you got yourself in this situation--dating 2 women at the same time, is really not my concern either. But how you handle yourself RIGHT NOW is the issue..
I'd invite you to "flip" the script. What if you were man B. and she was really wanting man A, but settles for you? Does not even matter the reason really. Would this hurt you? Would you always be on edge wondering if she were going to one day say--"I've had it, I'm going to be with blah blah"? Would you mind being "second" best? Each time she made love to you, she would be thinking about man A, how would you feel? If she stayed with you bc she felt sorry for you, how would you feel? Did you even consider how "low" her self-esteem has to be? To accept another woman is one thing, to settle fo rsecond best rate is another...
I think you need to do some soul searching baby. I mean really dig into yourself and reflect like: " If this were my mother/sister/or me, would I stand for this"? Thjis type of thing can only lead to fights, argument(s), break-ups, and when your child is born, what then? You don't like his mother you admit, how wil you treat the child? You may say: " Oh, I'll love my kid. It's not about his mother" There is a certain amount of truth to this, BUT how can you bond with a child when you have not even connected with his mother--other than sexually..??
You need to do alot of soul-searching. Do the right thing. I can't tell what that is. My heart has never loved more than one person, and I've never been involved with more than one relationship at a time. I can tell you that in the long run, you may end up by yourself. The only person who really hurts, is you...
God bless and I hope it all works out. Remember to look to yourself for the best answer...
2007-11-01 10:06:36 · answer #1 · answered by sablelemarr 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Top thought is - you should have thought about using protection with both.
You don't have to stay with or marry woman B (and in fact should not if you don't love her), but you certainly are responsible to her child for the next couple of decades.
Woman A is a saint if she would want you after having so little respect for her and the other woman that you didn't use protection.
I think you need to step back and at the moment, sit down with Woman B and figure out what your participation will be concerning the pregnancy and birth of her child as well as what involvement you will have with said child until of age. If Woman A is meant to be with you she will be there when this mess with Woman B is taken care of properly.
Good luck!
2007-11-01 09:38:07 · answer #2 · answered by dddanse 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're trapping yourself in a unhappy situation, most likely you're going to to go back to woman A behind woman B's back and cause everyone a lot of grief. Is an abortion even an option because this is probably an unhealthy/unhappy situation for someone to be raised in, you not being in love with the child's mother?
This is definitely a difficult situation that probably didn't even have to happen, but it's too late for a moral lecture, just try to do right by this woman if an abortion is not an option, there is going to be a child in the picture now which means it's not about you anymore, it's about him/her and what's be for them.
2007-11-01 09:40:29 · answer #3 · answered by Vanity Affaire 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you both made the mistake of sleeping together before marriage, so that's what you get. But it's not fair to you or woman A or woman B, if YOU ALL KNOW who you really want to be with, and why you are choosing woman B. How is that fair to her? She knows who you really want to be with, and why you are choosing her. That isn't love. That isn't going to be a happy family. Sex before marriage is still a BIG NO NO. If we all waited till marriage, and only had sex with our husband/wife, things like this WOULD NOT happen.
2007-11-01 09:34:47 · answer #4 · answered by Snow 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have two choices here. The first is to resolve to be happy, forget about A or any other women, and get yourself into counseling with B to figure out how to build a healthy relationship. The second is to decide that you don't want to bring your child up in a loveless household, especially if you think you're going to be taking your frustration and unhappiness out on the people in it, and go with B to a mediator or lawyer to work out child support arrangments.
2007-11-01 09:39:26 · answer #5 · answered by MM 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you love woman A, then you should be with her. but if you made woman B pregnant, you have to take responsibility for your actions. If you want to be with woman A, then be with her, but you should still try to help out Woman B, because that would be the nice thing to do.
2007-11-01 09:35:12 · answer #6 · answered by Fuzzyglasses 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-09-28 03:45:48 · answer #7 · answered by beisch 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2007-11-01 09:39:21 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is not fair to Woman B for you to stay with her. It is not a good idea to stay with someone for the kid(s). If you aren't happy the kid(s) will see that and be affected by it. You can be a part of your kid(s) life without being in a relationship with the Mom. (If you truly want to be in your kid(s) life.)
2007-11-01 10:14:12 · answer #9 · answered by Kona Cutie 33 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Moral of the story-don't date two women at once and get one pregnant. You really should be with the one you love or you will not be happy and begin to resent her and the baby
2007-11-01 09:35:46 · answer #10 · answered by mommacat 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋