My bf and I recently broke up. He's 24, I'm 23. The Dean of our law school got involved because we had a loud fight outdoors. She's made both of sign a promise that we won't speak for a year. I really can't imagine not speaking to the person who was my best friend for an entire year. I feel that what the Dean is making us do is ridiculous and pointless. At any rate, I have to comply. How can I not speak to someone I love, care about, and see in class everyday?
2007-11-01 08:47:09 · 12 answers · asked by skichamonix515 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I have to follow this because our school has a very strong Honor Code, and I will break that if I speak to him.
2007-11-01 08:54:21 · update #1
Thats insane!!! She cant REALLY make you do that can she?? Isnt that like, against your rights, or something??? I dont know hun, but that sounds like some BS to me!! Just be careful! I mean, I dont think they'll bug your phones or anything!
2007-11-01 08:52:14 · answer #1 · answered by pure&simple 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
When I first read this, I thought you were a teeny-bopper in Catholic school. When I read that you are in your TWENTIES, and attending LAW school, I just froze, and now wonder how mature you are that you needed a teacher to intervene! (not to mention the state of the legal profession as a whole!) ;)
Alleged "Honor Code" aside, you obviously did not get the "hint" when the Dean made both of you sign that promise. It wasn't to keep the two of you from speaking - - which would be impossible for lawyers to do, anyway! ;) It wasn't done to keep both of you silent; it was done for both of you to realize that you were being silly and immature, and that you two needed to reconcile your differences in a calm and mature fashion. The fact that you are in the same class makes that even more evident; you said it, yourself: how can you not speak to someone you see everyday???
So, assuming there is such an "Honor Code", what you both need to do is to see the Dean, and apologize profusely for your stupidity (if you don't refer to it as such in front of the Dean, then you are not admitting it to yourself, either), and ask that the signed "promise" be revoked, torn up, whatever. I am sure she will say something like, "That's what I wanted to hear." She will also appreciate that you came to her to have bit of disciplinary action undone, since, obviously, you could have spoken with your boyfriend anywhere, outside campus, with nobody being the wiser.
BTW, if this sounds familiar, it is exactly how some judges treat contempt and family cases: the party or parties must state with unequivocal honesty that they recognize what they did was wrong, and that they won't do it again.
Kudos to the Dean, and shame on you and your boyfriend for creating such a scene! Grow up, for heaven's sake!
2007-11-01 09:15:16 · answer #2 · answered by skaizun 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tex, e-mail and pass notes??? Hopefullly your education is more important than him and you will think of the consiquences, maybe ask the dean if you could do a probation thing to see how it goes, I would just be patient and wait it out , but tex him and write. The dean said no speaking..
2007-11-01 08:53:00 · answer #3 · answered by lisa 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry about your pain.......but that is a little funny. First she can not make that demand of you. And if you were paying attention in class...law class....you would know that. You could have impressed her by telling her she can't do that. However....all she really wants you to do is act like an adult. You two shouldn't be yelling and screaming at each other. You were acting like children and she treated you like children. Go talk to your BF and both of you try to behave.
2007-11-01 08:58:56 · answer #4 · answered by Dave G 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The way i see it, only time can tell. If you truly love him unconditionally, regardless of the fight, you will make it through. I guess you could use this as time to reflect on your relationship and how much he truly means to you. Its the non-verbal commitment that is the true background of a relationship.
2007-11-01 08:59:47 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She has no right to tell you two not to speak because of an argument. I'm sure telling you to do so violates your freedom of speech. In any case, no matter what you do -- take a look at the Freedom of Speech Act. That's pretty basic.
2007-11-01 09:00:32 · answer #6 · answered by Angel_Blue 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well, if you guys broke up....you really don't have a reason to speak with him anyway.
But....here's a few ideas....don't speak...write...be careful what you write though because it can always be used against you.
Or you can move, change schools...etc...
2007-11-01 08:51:58 · answer #7 · answered by far2cre8tive 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well are you aloud to speak to him off campus, or you can have a friend relay a message for you and if your talking to him in secret no one will know just be sneeky
2007-11-01 08:51:18 · answer #8 · answered by rae 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
thats strange that she can make you agree to that. if its over between you two.. then maybe its best to close the door.
2007-11-01 08:51:29 · answer #9 · answered by staryeyes 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
eeerr you know she doesnt rule your life, speak to him outside of class/school
2007-11-01 08:50:07 · answer #10 · answered by estrellita 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋