My sons father recently tried to come back in his life. My son does not want to see him at all. My son is 13. So, his dad got a court order trying to force him to visit every 2 weeks. My son refuses to speak or see him. Everytime he calls he says "goodbye" and hangs up. The father wants me to force hm to go. What should I do?
2007-11-01 07:02:30 · 7 answers · asked by hardyw 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
There are obviously reasons why he feels so stongly against seeing his father. Don't try to force him. But, if you think he should at least tryto see him, try to talk to him about it. Don't try to sway him either way. It should be his choice.
2007-11-01 07:07:08 · answer #1 · answered by MOMof2 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't force him, be open and listen to your kid. He is old enough to have his own feelings about this issue. Let him decide. You don't want him to resent you for not allowing him to go, and you don't want him to resent you for making him go. Maybe see if he is willing to allow the dad to come to ur house and visit for a couple of hrs. once a week. The father needs to build up to visiting, he has ruined trust with the child, he has to work at geting it back, he can't just walk back in after 13 yrs. and not expect the child to have feelings about his absence.
2007-11-01 14:38:58 · answer #2 · answered by Maalru3 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I say teach your son not to hate his father. To have respect for him because he donated a cell that made him the person he is today. To love him because he doesnt know how to be a father, and he needs the love of his son- and foremost, to love him so that he doesnt become bitter with the hate for his father.
And then leave it at that. At 13 he's old enough to decide whether or not he wants to see his father, Iam pretty sure the courts see it that way too.
2007-11-01 14:07:58 · answer #3 · answered by amosunknown 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Your lucky to have his Father ask to see him, when i was younger My dad left my mother when i was 2 year old, I see my dad every once a while, he never come to see me, i always have to come to see him.. i think 13 year old boy have the right to choose himself, maybe something happen to him bad and he will never forget.. so good luck
2007-11-01 14:19:15 · answer #4 · answered by Mommy Of Two Babies 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get all of you into family counselling (not all three of you in one room), but a counsellor can help your son deal with the issues he's got with his dad, help you help him cope, and help Dad understand how he should approach his role. If in the end your son does not want to see his father...well, you'd have to deal with that then, and the counsellor can help you.
2007-11-01 14:10:10 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
he is old enough now to make his own decisions. obviously his dad has hurt him enough that he doesnt want anything to do with him and it is up to his dad to try and change that. there is nothing you can do. you can encourage him to give his dad another shot but thats about it. the more his dad tries to force him, the more he will probably resent him. he just has to try and hope that some day his may need to turn to him for some reason. then he can prove himself.
2007-11-01 14:09:39 · answer #6 · answered by blondie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All you can do is try to talk to him and see why he doesn't want to see his father. Growing up he needs to have a male influence in his life.. so just talk to him and ask him to give it a try.
2007-11-01 14:10:44 · answer #7 · answered by LilMizMe! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋