OK, so heres the problem....
My Maid of Honor has been my best friend since i was .We've been there for each other through everything and theres no reason why i shouldnt have chose here EXCEPT....
Now that the wedding planning has begun shes totally lost it!
She makes fun of how im excited to be engaged and how im starting to plan the wedding ..(fall of 08)
She plans to have a REDICULOUS bachelorette party, she thinks 5 male strippers and everyone drunk off there a#$ is AWESOME!! (ive told her thats not what i prefer)
Plus , she thinks the idea of her getting drunk and telling stories about when we were drunk and done dumb things in highschool is the BEST speech to make.
also theres tons more reasons why im going crazy cause of her
she tells me im dumb for getting married...wants to pick the colors for my wedding...thinks it would be hillarious if she were HIGH when she walked down the aisle!!
ARE YOU KIDDING ME!! What should i do!! PLEASE HELP!!
2007-11-01 06:51:26 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
It definitely sounds like she is jealous. I would suggest to sit her down and have a serious talk with her, but make sure you do it when you are calm and can be nice. Explain to her that she is important to you which is why you want her involved as the maid of honor and just because you are getting married doesn't mean that you will be any less her friend. You can still hang out and have girls night out, but she needs to respect your decision and your love for your fiance.
Since you have been through so much I think talking it out will help. I would also let her know that if she doesn't want the duty of being maid of hionor that you will understand, but if she does want to be yout MOH then she will need to take it seriously and respect your wishes!
Good luck!
2007-11-01 13:13:53 · answer #1 · answered by Reba 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if you're going to ask her to step down as your maid of honor I'd say it like this:
"you know -name--, since I've gotten engaged and asked you to be my MOH, it seems like you've taken things to the wrong level of what I'm looking for. I think it would be best if I had someone else take care of the obligations in a way that I'll be more comfortable with. I just feel as if you may have a different view of things from what I do and with all your other obligations (make up whatever about her job, family situations whatever) that you won't be able to give me the right amount of attention that I'll be needing. I'm really sorry and I hope I didn't hurt your feelings and I still love you as my very best friend,. i still want you to be in the wedding and help out when you can, I just don't want this to be too much pressure for the both of us."
try something like that. I've learned many lessons on bridesmaids- every wedding I've been to the bride doesn't even speak to half the girls who stood up anymore. It's always best to go with sisters or family for your more important roles!
2007-11-01 07:09:25 · answer #2 · answered by Sarahz 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
No kidding!! How is your second best friend??? Really now, this is not going well at all. You just might want to demote her right out of your wedding party......yes it is a hard decision, but good heavens, a Maid of Honor is a Helper to the bride. This gal should have your back, it seems she has no good intentions. You might want to tell her she would enjoy the wedding soooo much better as a guest! As a Chaplain, I do not allow anyone in the wedding party to participate if they are drunk or badly tipsy! Best of luck, let us know how this goes, Chaplain Debby
2007-11-01 16:51:56 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well the thing now is you don't need no one stressing you with nothing as stupid as she is stressing you with. You need to sit her down talk to her and find out what is going on with her and if she is joking with you or if she is truly going to act like a fool and possibly ruin this happy time in your life. If you feel that maybe she is serious about all this foolishness then you need to get rid of her ASAP. You do not need no extra added bulls**t between now and then. Planning a wedding is stressful enough. I had my best friend jump down my back(in a good way because I was stressing) and told me to relax she is going to try and take my mind off of all the stressful stuff and make sure I have a wonderful 7 months to come(planning, wedding dress fitting, bachelorette party and wedding day and thereafter). That is what a friend does.
2007-11-01 07:11:58 · answer #4 · answered by OFFICIALLY MRS. HOWARD! 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Find a new maid of honor.....QUICK.....This is your wedding day, not hers. When she gets married, she can carry on however she likes, but If I were you, I would not tolerate it. Not one minute. I don't have the patience for the nonsense, and You being the bride, with all the stress of a wedding, I don't see how you could tolerate all the stupidity she has been dishing out. Put your foot down, and let her know, that she will have to go if she does not straighten up and fly right. Good luck.
2007-11-01 07:34:15 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like she's jealous.
You need someone who is going to stand by your side on that day and be happy for you and be "honorable" she's the Maid of "Honor" afterall. Telling drunk stories about how much fun you two had "before" marriage is not the way to go. Maybe you have a second choice for Maid of Honor.
Why would she tell you getting married is dumb in one breath, and in the next she wants to pick the colors for your wedding.
She's jealous.
2007-11-01 06:59:03 · answer #6 · answered by alwaysbombed 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
If she makes fun of you because your exited about getting married she is probaly jealouse of you. And 5 male stippers sounds lik she wants to see if she can stir up problems. 1 or 2 is ok and getting drunk no . And talking about school is ok but not talking about the dumb things you did. Talking about the good times and fun you had is ok and as for her getting high before the wedding not cool. and picking the colors is up to you not her. It's your wedding not her's. Sounds like you might have to ask somebody else to be your maid of honor. She may just ruin you wedding sounds like thats what she wants to do . JEALOUSY thats all it is.. Congrats and I hope everything turns out for you..
2007-11-01 07:03:20 · answer #7 · answered by dollbaby2407 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
She needs to grow up. If she is not going to be of any help to you (like a maid of honor is supposed to be) then you could fire her. But first I would sit her down and explain to her how she is making you feel. That this is your weddiing and you are not trying to be a "bridezilla" but you would like your day to be nice. It's really not appropriate for her to be drunk or high on your wedding day or tell drunk stories as her speech. What would the older members of your families think. Explain this to her, and then if things still don't change, go ahead and fire her.
2007-11-01 22:18:50 · answer #8 · answered by sden2616 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She sounds jealous. You need to sit down and have a serious discussion with her about her role in planning, and what your wishes are. Tell her that if she can't respect your wishes, she will not be part of the planning process, and that includes the bacheloretter party. You DO have other bridesmaids who can do the planning who i'm sure will listen to you.
I think it would be rude to revoke your invitation to be your maid of honor, so i think you're stuck with her. Just lay down the law!
2007-11-01 07:16:19 · answer #9 · answered by Katie G 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Personally, I really don't think you need the added stress. If she's your friend she would be supporting your decisions and just generally being there for you during this wonderful time in your life, not making it miserable for you.
You're going to have to tell her what's on your mind or it sounds like to me there is a very real possibility that this girl is going to ruin your wedding...and it also sounds like that might be exactly what she's trying to accomplish.
BTW congratulations and best of luck on your upcoming marriage!!!! I hope this situation works out for the best.
2007-11-01 07:04:00 · answer #10 · answered by Tammy 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋