Does an adult have to accept behavior in their step children they would not accept in their natural children?

Answer 1

nope-not if they are in your house or in your care. you are the adult and they are the child!

Answer 2

Definitely not,
What you need to do before you go off and lose your head. Is sit down and talk with your spouse first as to how she / he discipline their child, what kind of structure did they have before you came into the picture. Explain to how you raised and dealt with the troubles you had to deal with from them.Then if possible I would sit down as a family unit, to discuss how they feel about this major change in their lives. How could they get a long and what they would consider acceptable behaovior if they were the parents, Have your spouse with you during this time to see how , they all react together. As there must be ameeting of the minds in this kind of situation. As you're all together to help each other through life. It can be a joy if everyone cooperates or a pain if they dont know how tobehave or understand why such rules or restrictions etc exist in your home.
Something I did with my families as they visited for long periods. , if they were causing trouble outside my house, Was to intruduce to some of my friends that had a hard trouble, or been arrested and with the cops as well that I knew , To help my own kinds and their cousins understand the consequences to troubles and disrespect they show.
This is all for their safety and positive directions in life.
As this is where the foundations for their goals and outcomes begin or in some cases end.

Ok below I looked at some of the places that could help you, and thought maybe some of these would give you ideas to help gain peace for all involved.
I hope you can find the answers you need for this problem you are dealing with.

Answer 3

if your step children are acting out, perhaps their father could step in and do something?

sometimes kids feel abandoned and left out after a divorce, and also as if they are being pulled by both ends from the middle... maybe look at the relationship between your husband and his ex... are there big problems? if so, the kids are always affected. And then, their dad remarried, so perhaps they feel you're more important in dad's eyes... and that they have been "replaced".

It's hard to tell what goes through other people's minds... but sometimes these issuse do need to be addressed, especially if they do not change after a period of time.

set rules, and expect the kids to follow them... let them know you are there to talk and listen when they need a shoulder... you can tell them you realize everyone has issues...

maybe they won't tell you anything but just offering might help them to see YOU care.

Answer 4

That is a tough question. On one hand, the stepchildren have been raised differently than your children, and it isn't fair or reasonable to suddenly expect them to measure up to your standards. However, you need to have a family standard so that everyone feels a part of the family and family dynamics move smoothly. I think it's okay to expect your stepchildren to learn to follow your household rules, but you need to give them time to adjust. So hold them to the standards, but gently and patiently.

Answer 5

No, but they are going to have to battle it out with the natural parent.

This is why people should talk about things like this before they get married. People have different ideas about discipline and life. You should find someone who shares your views or shut up cause you made the choice.

Answer 6

One can set rules in ones own home, but may not venture an opinion on the rules the other parent sets for his or her home. The most you can say is "Well, we're not at your father's home, we're here -- and the rule here is that we don't answer the phone during meals."

Answer 7

Who is the adult here??? Kids are to be guided by adults, not the other way around. If it is unacceptable for you in your home or presence, it is unacceptable...period. Regardless of who their biological parent is...if it's not OK then it's NOT OK.