her mother is not around. her father and mother are not in a relationship with each other. they have other significant others, obvioulsy. the 12 year old often embraces her father for a long period of time. but then she always says NO to her father, and he lets her get away with murder. she is quite developed for her age as well. he allows her to wear revealing clothes as well. i am just so confused. growing up, i did not have a very close relationship with my father, i mean i love him, but we never acted liked this. is this normal?
2007-11-01 05:12:03 · 11 answers · asked by ♥jessica♥♥ 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I completely agree with Jilian. I have no experience, but she is only 12, and without a mother, she sees her father as both parents. If a girl did that with her mother, you wouldn't think twice about it. Her father has been both parents to her, so I don't see a problem.
People are too quick to jump to assumptions nowdays.
2007-11-01 11:46:58 · answer #1 · answered by milan 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no its not normal for a 12 year old to sleep in the same bed as her father. He should make her go back to her room, if she is afraid of something she should tell him and he will try to figure sumthing out. He should also discipline her for telling him no when he tell her things and she gets away with it and a 12 year old shouldnt be allow to wear revealing clothes that shows almost everything. He need to send her to her mother or become a better father to her instead of letting her do what she wants to do.
2007-11-01 05:22:47 · answer #2 · answered by Mother of 3 boyz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is really a gray area and it depends upon how close you and your boyfriend are and how well he accepts advise or criticism about his parenting.
As a woman, I would tell him that although you understand her needing reassurance, she is really of an age that it is to the point of being a little inappropriate or weird that she gets into bed with him. He doesn't want to leave his ex wife or anyone else any opportunity to accuse him of anything inappropriate and also he needs to foster independence in his child.
As for the clothing, men don't know what is okay and not okay for a 12 yo. I suggest just as a woman, you mention that perhaps her clothing choices are a little too old for her.
Then you just have to leave it after all he is the parent and you are not.
As for her being rude etc.., Start now by standing up for yourself in a nice but firm way and letting her know what your boundaries and rules are.
2007-11-01 05:18:47 · answer #3 · answered by wondermom 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I was always close to my father, but there was nothing sick about it. My mom had battled cancer off and on and spent a lot of time away from us in the hospital. There were times I'd climb in bed with my father, even after I got to be as old as fifteen or sixteen, just so I could feel like he was close by me. Without her around, I had a lot to work through, and it was comforting to have him close by.
People nowadays are so perverted- they look for things to get creeped out about.
2007-11-01 05:35:43 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
In my opinion she should have no reason to be in his bed or him in her bed at the age of 12. It throws up a lot of red flags in my mind. I think to be honest you need to turn him into the department of family services. He would definitely not be the kind of guy I would want to go out with and as far as that child goes he is a poor excuse for a father. He is the adult, if he allows a little 12 year old to dress provocatively isn't that sending out warning signs to you? I think he is doing a lot more then just saying goodnight to her from the side of her bed . OHHHHHHH people like that need to be in jail!!!! God he is a pervert a real creep. TURN HIM IN! I know my father used to make trips to my bed so believe me i know about this matter. HELP that child get her out of that situation for god sake be a good person help that child!!!!
2007-11-01 05:23:57 · answer #5 · answered by Donna C 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's a little odd, to say the least. i know of someone else who had this situation, too but she never said anything to her boyfriend about it....
if you are put off by this (and i would be) maybe it's time to talk with the boyfriend? It's really not appropriate... and even if it's innocent, it may be perceived differently by others.
and her brattiness? she's been through a lot because obviously there was a divorce... divorce impacts older children especially hard at times... she might need some good help to get through this.
take care of YOU.. hugs
2007-11-01 05:33:23 · answer #6 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bigotry, undeniable and straightforward. "not antisemitic or something" yet could extremely die than marry considered one of "those human beings". What an @s$. that's antisemitic, and sending messages on your destiny son in regulation or his dad and mom may be construed as harassment, and by capability of utilising a telephone you're genuinely committing against the regulation. I recommend which you strengthen up and go away your daughter on my own. She is happy, and you will possibly desire to include the source of the happiness, not push it away. If that isn't conceivable for then you definitely I recommend you invent a time gadget and return to late 1930's Germany, or pass to Palestine or something.
2016-09-28 03:22:10 · answer #7 · answered by cogliano 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends. Many people today have what they call the "communal bed" at home. It's basically just a way to be closer and enjoy their time together.
Families who enjoy physical contact - such as hugs - may view this as just another way to stay close.
I would look for signs of abuse before worrying about whether the communal bed is an issue. Does she act out sexually? Does he use guilt to control her?
2007-11-01 05:21:25 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My ex husband allows our 11 year old daughter to sleep in his bed with him. I don't believe that it has anything to do with anything other than he just wants to feel closer to her because he doesn't see her often. I have been trying to encourage him to get her used to sleeping on the couch or whatever (he only has one bedroom), but he hasn't done that yet. I wouldn't worry about this behavior unless you see signs of abuse. I would warn him about letting her wear revealing clothes, etc, because there are alot of sick people in this world. Good luck!
2007-11-01 05:25:14 · answer #9 · answered by Momof3inIL 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, it's not normal. This should have stopped ages ago. It never should have started. If he let's her get away with murder, guess what? She'll treat you like dirt and he'll not do anything. You sure you want a guy who lets his kids treat his girlfriend like crap?
2007-11-01 05:19:51 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋