i loved him and he loved me too
2007-11-01 04:46:45 · 65 answers · asked by isebella m 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Smarten up and move on.
2007-11-01 04:48:57 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
The answer's going to be different for every person asked that question depending on the circumstance. So I'll tell you what I'd do.
If he knew her or if she was a friend of mine it's a double edged sword. Not just a passing by problem. I'd at the very least get that person out of our lives and not allow any contact between him and her to go on if he wants me in his life. He would readily agree if he really loves you. If he doesn't leave.
If he didn't know her I'd look at the situation to find out why he got into that predicament to see what may need to be changed to keep this from happening again *temptation wise*. Cheating can be a band aid to a bigger problem. Like drinking or drug use can be. So he might need counselling to get help in some areas that will take that impulse away to escape.
Has he done it before? If so, dump him.
If you decide to stay with him, don't punish him. If he's truly sorry he'll already be doing that to himself. What's important is communication. Is he willing to talk about what happened and what can be done to keep it from happening again? If so, and he really does stay out of the temptation hot spots, it's worth a real and good try to rebuild and you have to let it happen and trust him. If he is defensive and won't discuss it and doesn't appear to give it the attention it deserves when you're not crucifying him over what happend, kick him to the curb.
I don't think there's many problems in a relationship that can't be fixed if both want it enough, but that's the trick. Do you BOTH want that enough? If so, you can go the distance with help from others, even counselling would be a good idea to start. But it's going to be an up hill battle for sure. So what do you want to do? What does he want to do?
And above all the advice you'll ever get, listen to your heart.
2007-11-01 04:53:05 · answer #2 · answered by Angels Serenity 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay, I hope not to offend!
I am 58 years old and I been around the block 48 of those years several times. You may have loved him but, he did not love you. Someone who loves another doesn't cheat on them. I don't care what you've heard about them coming back to you and saying they're sorry and won't do it again. The trust is gone! And depending on your personality and strength the trust might rebuild but, don't trust that either. Because forever in the back of your mind, each time you two part ways, that nagging feeling of mistrust is there - always!
My advice is to make the break now and go forward with your life. Accept that this experience has allowed you to grow. Make it a positive growth. Go into your next relationship more openly and make it plan that trust is upper most in building that foundation.
2007-11-01 04:58:12 · answer #3 · answered by New Orleans Diva 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No one can really tell you what to do, you have to fallow your heart. It's not about ifor she loves eachother because this stuff happennds. Everyone makes mistakes. This ones a huge one. However each situation is different. I would try to find out why he did it before you do anything. I wouldnt say that any excuse is valid because cheating is dumb, but some people seem to think it's ok if they feel a certain way. If you do take him back, I would make sure to teach him a lesson or he may do it again. In the end it has to be you, the strong one to make it threw. personally I am sorry for your situation, and may god bless..
2007-11-01 04:59:41 · answer #4 · answered by Robert W 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am always upset when people write that others have 'cheated on them' ........unless you have a vow with each other to have an exclusive relationship, you are free to see other people and quite frankly, you probably need to see other people to have a good look around and not waste time finding someone you would like to stay with for a good, committed relationship, to have a family, to have a "household companion" ....
...you cannot just snag someone and then try to make them stay with you because you are too insecure or too passive or too lazy to find some other people .... you need to 'circulate', as they put it
.... when they say, "He took her out of circulation!" means that he proposed to her, she accepted, they are engaged and she is no longer permitted to date other guys and he is no longer permitted to date other girls ...
......... you can't just nail down the first person you could catch and say, "You are mine and you can't 'cheat' on me'!!!!" unless that is the agreement
.... so ..... did the two of you agree to an exclusive relationship, or not? If so, then he has broken the agreement.....if you wish to re-establish the relationship or not is a matter you both will have to decide .....but you can also agree that it is ok to date other people and still keep your relationship .......and don't let your feelings of insecurity get you: if he goes, he goes ... if you go, you go ... and that is part of the game ... it is only fair
....you see, you both have to establish the rules by which you wish to play the game ...
2007-11-01 05:02:40 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he cheated on you, then he didn't love you as much as you though he did. And he certainly didn't love you as much as you loved him, since you didn't cheat on him.
Stay away from him, if he cheated once most likely he'd do it again, unless you don't mind being hurt by him and getting kicked around so to speak.
It's really up to you as to what you do, but if it were me I wouldn't waste my time on a cheater. I'd find some one else who knows how to treat me with the respect that I know I deserve.
I hope this helps you out, best wishes to you.
2007-11-01 04:52:59 · answer #6 · answered by Cindy 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I've got some time on the weekend if you want revenge. ;)
Seriously though, you have to decide if his cheating has destroyed your trust. If it has, then it's over. If you think you can live with it and move on, you can try.
Just don't put up with it again. If he cheats once, it could be something he just didn't expect or some kind of issue between you two. But more than once starts to show a pattern.
2007-11-01 04:51:10 · answer #7 · answered by rohak1212 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
obviously u were an item right? if he only cheated on u the once then i'm sure he is sorry everyone deserves a second chance but don't let him bk in2 ur life that easily as he will think u cant live without him and u'll always take him bk no matter wot, be sure that he is really sorry and really wants u bk, however if he is not sorry then that means he will do it again so i would just move on flirt a bit with other peeps pic urself up and show urself u can do better
2007-11-01 04:53:38 · answer #8 · answered by Rachel P 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Personally, I feel you should move on.
You may have loved him, but he could not have loved you, because if he had, he would not have cheated on you. Really loving someone does not allow you to cheat on them.
Furthermore, if you accept that he has cheated on you - even if it was [only] one time, your message to him is that it is ok with you that he cheated on you ... that you'll accept him no matter what he does to you or how he hurts you [even if he cheats again].
You need to gather your self-respect and your self-esteem and let him go. Move on because you deserve better than someone who can not give you real love and honesty and show it by being faithful to you.
My thoughts. My opinion.
Hope it helps.
2007-11-01 04:58:53 · answer #9 · answered by Mynxx 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems like the best option for you would be to try and move on.
If you caught him cheating on you, that would mean that he didn't love you as much as you thought, my opinion. He betrayed your trust and went behind your back. You gotta let go of him. No second chances.
If he actually admitted it to you and apologized, well, you might want to think about it. He worked up the courage to tell you the truth, admit his mistake...If he asked you for a second chance in this situation, I guess you might want to consider it. Make him earn your trust back though! If he loves you, he'll want to do anything to get you back and he'll wait.
2007-11-01 04:56:20 · answer #10 · answered by Miss Sunshine 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
look at what you wrote "loved". There are millions of men on this plant. I'm sure you can find a man or even two that will love you enough not to cheat on you. Keep looking and be happy just being who you are.
2007-11-01 04:52:19 · answer #11 · answered by Janet S 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋