I dont mind the fact that i am 3,000 miles away from CA where we met. I wanted to get out. But now i am looking for work and cant move out of an apt. if i have to. My bf is a sweet and trustworthy guy. and i know i used to love him. but things are different. He doesnt know how to communicate. When something is wrong he just shuts off and acts like I'm not there...even when the problem isnt caused by me...and even worse-when I'm the one who is upset. He doesnt know what to do to make me feel better...he just chooses to ignore it. Even when things ARE going well, we are at the point, where there isnt anything to talk about. Or atleast, he doesnt talk about anything. It is a little depressing and I don't know what to do. Look for work first and then when i do move out? I am currently living in Illinois near chicago.
2007-11-01 04:28:28 · 8 answers · asked by D 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
lots of good advice so far. Seems like moving out is the right choice if things don't change. But i do want to take advantage of being in chicago for a couple years. See new things...and then move to yet another state. I like to see new things. Plus, all my friends have moved all over the place in CA too.
2007-11-01 04:59:37 · update #1
I am so sorry to hear about your dilemma. It is tough. I would have said yell at him because I know how you feel. I am with the same person now for almost 8 years and the first 3 it was him not communicating and me holding it in until I exploded. We are definitely at the point where he listens ( most of the time) but he still has his moments. In your case though, I hate to say it, look for work first, then move on if he is not willing to make changes so you BOTH can be happy. It might take a move back to CA to do what you wanted to do which was travel and use your degree. The only reason I suggest moving back "home" is that you will have a better support system to get you through this, and with better support you can do what you want to do or you might just have a really high phone bill. Or if you don't want to go there, head south to FL. Travel is BIG business there and the people are great.
2007-11-01 04:43:53 · answer #1 · answered by thequeenreigns 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't know someone until you live with them...how many times have I heard that one? It's out there because it's fact. It takes a while to adjust to living with someone, and it is really a HUGE leap of faith you made in altering your entire exsistance for him. I would hope the love there is really strong for you to do something like that, but I would have asked myself if he'd be willing to do the same thing for me. Anywho, too little too late on that one, but you need to find a job and means to support yourself. Right now you are relying on him for everything, and you have no one but him which gives him a tremendous amount of power and the upper hand. Get on equal ground again and find your footing and then start demanding if things don't change you're gonna pack up and move on again. It's the only thing to do, girl! You have got to worry about yourself here!
2007-11-01 04:37:17 · answer #2 · answered by Marina 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Either your bf is losing interest in you, is in as much culture shock are you are from the move, is an emotional vampire, or is just a jerk. Two of those you might be able to fix, the other two, not a chance. Save your money, get your own place, keep your sanity and move on. I don't see this getting any better in the future.
2007-11-01 04:34:05 · answer #3 · answered by Misery 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you tried talking to your partner about the problems in your relationship? If you are unhappy and the problems are not fixable, then you really have no choice but to move on. I would decide for myself if I still love this man and want to make things work. If you don't stop wasting time, get a job and move on. If you try to make things work out and he is unwilling this is another sign that it is time to leave.
2007-11-01 04:40:17 · answer #4 · answered by Queenie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry kiddo, that is the same that has happened to me here in Ca. My G.F. moved in to my house and I don,t recognize it or her anymore.Feeling a little trapped but with luck you will find a job and earn enough to start over by yourself.Come back to Ca. and take another stab at it.May just be that he feels he has you over a barrell.Good luck
2007-11-01 04:34:37 · answer #5 · answered by skirickfiftyone 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, i've got basically visited 2 states (California and Nevada). i could want to make certain greater of the U.S., yet I doubt i'm going to pass to all 50 states. there are maximum of places worldwide that i want to pass to to boot.
2016-09-28 03:16:33 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a job and look for someone that is looking for a roommate. Clearly you don't want to find yourself out on the street with no job - you'd be in much worse shape then than you are now.
2007-11-01 04:36:19 · answer #7 · answered by lunasage 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
try counseling
2007-11-01 04:38:37 · answer #8 · answered by wonder 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋