I joined the Guard in 06, and when I return from AIT my mother in law really pushed the issue of me getting out , she never supported me joining to begin with & stated she hopes we dont think she will quit her job to care for those children ( they are her blood grandkids) my husband is Active duty has been since 91, I decided to go Active duty , my husband and children support me on this but I do not know how to tell my mother in law...
2007-11-01 03:14:13 · 12 answers · asked by Justice35 4 in Politics & Government ➔ Military
They were never on our Family Care plan ,as you know I had to have a family care before I went to MEPS in 06.. I leave in Jan for AIT ( changed my MOS) and I know she wont support me going Active duty, she is my mother in law not my mother but It would be nice to have the same support she gives my husband and other troops.
2007-11-01 03:42:26 · update #1
I feel it isnt an issue of taking care of our children , she just doesnt support me in this, my father in law and step mother in law both know and we have asked them not to say anything, I want to tell her but at the same time I need to be in the right state of mind before I leave.. its sad all these yrs they have supported my husband and other troops yet while I was in BCT & AIT I didnt get any letters cards nothing from them while I was gone, yet my sister in law drove to see my husband off when he deployed while I was in AIT.
2007-11-02 01:33:07 · update #2
There are many ways to tell your mother-in-law; none of which are going to be easy. If it where me I would just come out and tell her what’s up. Though; it sounds to me she will be resistant to the decision no matter what. I would not discuss it with her when you tell her as it will be emotional and give her time for it to sink in prior to any discussion. Though there probably needs to be a discussion with her and your husband as it is a family decision and the support needs to be there. Be firm and confident in your decision, so not leave room for doubt as that will make any question she has linger. Good luck with this and thanks from this vet to you for making such commitments in your life.
2007-11-01 03:31:38 · answer #1 · answered by Dougal 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There are two ways you could go about it... truthfully, and semi-truthfully.
If you want to go the less honest route, you could always tell her you were activated and hope she thinks it was not voluntary.
If you have more scruples than that, just remember.. she is your mother in-law. You didn't marry her- she has no say in what you do. Your husband supports you, and that should be enough. You might try seeing if he would break the news to her, even if in a setting where you are both present.
2007-11-01 04:15:19 · answer #2 · answered by Ben 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
hi Mitchell. you have an exciting case here. first of all, i'm not a lawyer. yet, you probably did not furnish precise information that's mandatory. A. Are you paying spousal help because of the fact of a court docket order? B. Are you paying "voluntary spousal help" because of the fact which you reside up for a while-honored jobs whilst your spouse grow to be not working? C. in case you have not any court docket order and your spouse is now interior the armed forces earning her very own way then you relatively can quit paying her and deliver her a letter saying that now that she is interior the armed forces earning her very own way you have not any extra duty to furnish her help because of the fact the U. S. military is now offering such help. D. the armed forces won't withhold help money out of your pay except you have a valid court docket order. for this reason, you will possibly desire to be sending that help money on your guy or woman by capability of your guy or woman own verify. appropriate? E. while you're dealing with a divorce then notify your lawyer of her new place interior the army and that she is getting her finished help from the army. F. back pay? forget approximately it. you will in no way get that. it is going to basically mess issues up and make the divorce greater "messy." G. How long has your divorce been filed? it would basically take a month! H. Notify the felony workplace on base that your spouse - quickly to be former spouse - is interior the army and demands no extra help. J. She joined a "couple months back?" enable your lawyer understand to tell the choose that your spouse has been deceiving you and accumulating your help money whilst she would not want it. How plenty are you paying your lawyer? tell him/her to get with it and get you "loose." Then, you pass to employees and volunteer to pass to Okinawa and get foreign places for twenty-four months. Get some distance faraway from her. There are basically some military billets on Okinawa presently. And, you do not might desire to tell her you're going besides. as quickly as you're divorced have no extra touch along with her. positioned time and distance between you. she will meet some new military guy and "fall in love." Semper Fi, Larry Smith Senior grasp Sergeant, USAF (Ret.) First Sergeant
2016-09-28 03:12:36 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm so sorry that she's not supportive of your choice...I'm not sure if she's biased against women in the military or if she's genuinely concerned that she will be raising your children in her old age.....when you do tell her, tell her matter-of-factly like you would tell her you bought a watermelon at the supermarket. It's going to be in your best interests not to expect her approval. You can't change her but you can protect yourself.
2007-11-01 17:44:34 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's just your mother in law. I know that sounds harsh, but only you and your family can know what's best for you guys. She's not on your dependent care plan is she? If your husband supports you, he needs to make sure he lets his mom know, but otherwise, don't worry about it.
2007-11-01 03:31:43 · answer #5 · answered by Denise S 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your husband and you could discuss it jointly with her or he can tell her. If you don't feel comfortable, you don't owe her any explanations. It's your husband's mother and not yours.
That being said, if you are close with her, just be honest. Tell her you understand her position on it, but that it is your family and you and your husband are in agreement on this.
2007-11-01 04:02:39 · answer #6 · answered by grace 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Either stand up and just tell her or your hubby who supports you should tell them and tell them they have no say in the matter. You heard their arguements and choose to serve on Active duty.
2007-11-01 04:03:11 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
PPPBBBTTTHHHT on her. it's YOUR life, you and your husband have clearly thought it through and made the best decision you can for your family. Since she is not part of the FCP, she has zero leg to stand on. her loss if she chooses to punish the grandkids . .
2007-11-01 04:52:21 · answer #8 · answered by Mrsjvb 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Tell her: Ma, i'm going on active duty. No you won't talk me out of it. It's MY life, not yours.
2007-11-01 03:55:15 · answer #9 · answered by Darkwolf 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You say, Uncle Sam owns my a** now and I am going in!
2007-11-01 03:56:04 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋