Ok, so here's the story. Last night my boyfriend's friend invited him to go to Quebec for new years, because the legal age there is 18 not 19 like here in Ontario. Me, being younger than him can't go obviously, so I got a little upset. I was upset for 2 reasons. The first of which was that last year he was passed out and we didn't get new years together and the second was that I didn't trust the guys that he was going with, knowing they would probably bring girls around back to the room, and if he's drunk how is he going to know what's gonna happen??
So his response is that I'm being selfish and jealous, and need to get over my insecurity problems and it isn't fair for him to have to stay just because I want him too...
But i mean isn't he supposed to want to spend new years with his girlfriend? I mean he says he wants to go for a change of scenery, but I hardly think I'm being the selfish one here!
What should I do!
2007-11-01 02:36:16 · 15 answers · asked by Barbiiee 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
- we talked about it yesterday, but he's just mad at me now...and he doesn't seem to want to talk right now so, i really don't want to go down that path again...
2007-11-01 02:44:28 · update #1
- what do you mean ABOOD? I don't understand your reply lol
2007-11-01 02:45:21 · update #2
- I really wish he would see it like you guys, i mean every time we argue about this it just ends in him mad and me being selfish...and I don't know what to do I mean it's going to be our year anniversary in a month (less actually like 2 weeks) and I really love him, I just wish he would be different sometimes, I mean I bend over backwards for him!
2007-11-01 02:47:21 · update #3
Thanks everyone, these are really good answers, even helping me see it from a different perspective this is good thanks so much, can't wait to read more :)
2007-11-01 02:51:29 · update #4
first off it sounds like you two have been going out for a while. you really do need to trust your boyfriend and give him space. its not that he doesn't want to spend new years with you. he probably See's you too together to a long time. you are the one that will be there when he comes home, but friends they change.
You have every right to be concerned, i am every time my boyfriend of two and a half years goes out with the guys. he already loves you, and if he has not done anything in the past to prove that he would cheat on you then he wont. if he has then i would completely rethink the relationship. once a cheater ALWAYS a cheater.
If you want to have fun on new years, this is your chance to have a girls night out! make it bigger and better then his little shindig he is doing. Make him regret that he did not want to hang out with you.
hope this helps,
Jackie
2007-11-01 02:49:22 · answer #1 · answered by jackie b 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It does sound like he's being a little selfish.
Can you not go to the same location with some of your friends ? Just because you cant be there when they go to the pub (bar), it doesnt mean you cant stay in the same house, hotel together and be there (or meet up somewhere) when they leave the pub!?
This sounds like a good compromise, and if your chap is still weary about letting you come, then I'd be a little more curious about why he doesnt want you there.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for cheating, and when you say "he's not going to know what happened" then I think he either needs to drink less, or have someone he trusts to keep an eye on him.
As a guy, I'd hate it if my partner didnt give me my own time with the lads, but on special occasions such as these, I'd always plan something for the both of us and wouldnt dream of leaving the person I love out of the equasion !
I think you should spend this together if you're serious about each other, or as a last resort, vidoe calling to see the New Years in might be the only other option.
2007-11-01 02:48:17 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is a tough one, but I think you're right. I think guys should want to be with their girlfriends for that New Year's kiss. I'm not really sure why you can't go with him. If it's a party at someone's house then you should be able to go no matter what age you are, but if he's going to a bar/club, then I guess that's the problem. Anyway, if it's at someone's house, you should just go with him. If it's at a bar, maybe you can talk him into having a little ROMANTIC evening with just the two of you. And if he calls you selfish again just say "How am I being selfish by asking my BOYFRIEND to stay with me for New Years?" If he doesn't agree with you at all, then maybe you guys should start talking about a break, or a break UP. Hope this helps. Good luck.
2007-11-01 02:43:41 · answer #3 · answered by Rach 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I dont think that you are being selfish. I dont think he is being selfish either. I think that yes it would be a once in lifetime experience to go but at the same time i can understand your worry, yes a boyfriend should want to spend time with you on new years but sometimes god gives us chalenges in life like this to challenge the realtionship and make it stronger. I think that you really should talk to him again and say that you cant stop him from going but that you would be really hurt if he left you. Tell him how you feel and if you are really strong about this then maybe tell him that if he goes that you would loose all faith in the realtionship because he doesnt respect you. I know it is hard to hear but you just need to talk to him.
Jessica
2007-11-01 02:42:46 · answer #4 · answered by Bearsbutterfly 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well he's putting friends above you. That should tell you where he puts you in his list of priorities.
I dont think your being selfish, i think him running off with a guy friend to go drink and passout somewhere is irresponsible.
He's right about it not fair for him to have to stay just because you want him to, he should want to stay out of the love he should be showing you. Obivously it's not strong enough to keep him around on a holiday for couples.
As far as what you should do, follow your heart, go hang out with girlfriends, ( me personally i'd drop him at the curb like a hot rock! and not pick up the bad habit again)
2007-11-01 02:44:36 · answer #5 · answered by lovelyinkedlady0613 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Take a moment to remember that you are his girlfriend, not his mommy.
I understand that your feelings are hurt because he wants to be with his friends rather than you on the new year. I also think you don't trust him and are afraid he might be with another female.
Putting limits on what your boyfriend can and can't do and making a big fuss is only going to drive him away from you.
2007-11-01 02:46:27 · answer #6 · answered by sleepingliv 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would let him go it sounds like you dont trust him enough to even be with him and if you have a gut feeling to not trust him then its because something will probably happen i would suggest you break up with him or let him go and see what happens. You should have fun on new years too its freakin new years.
2007-11-01 02:41:09 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
i understand what you are saying and i really dont find that selfish at all.
anything can happen when some one is drunk exspeacially if they are around the wrong type of people.
and him being your bf he should want to spend new years with you
2007-11-01 02:47:56 · answer #8 · answered by ms.jumpee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well i undersand how you feel, but if you tell someone they can't go they will want to go! just make it clear you rather him stay with you, but if he wants to go then he can! Then think of somewhere he rather you not be on New Years and tell him you plan to go there before he leaves! if he don't care then hes prob. not the best man for you!!
2007-11-01 02:41:29 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he is still too young to be in a serious relationship. Give him space to do what he wants to do, and then make sure you do things you want to do and don't worry so much about what he is doing.
2007-11-01 02:40:39 · answer #10 · answered by wellbeing 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋