Like gravity i am drawn to you
Like a leaf falls to the ground
Like a blackhole i am lost in you
In a moment without sound
Like an ocean i drown in you
And sink further down in
Like the clouds above surround me
Like your arms hold me within
2007-11-01 02:15:31 · 48 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
x. awww sweet.x
2007-11-01 02:18:08 · answer #1 · answered by mamgu....... 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
interestin words used but the message is classic; try
lik gravity i fell fo u
lik a leaf falls 2 da ground
lik a blkhole i am lost n u
n a moment wothout sound
lik an ocean i drown n u
n i luv 2 sink down
lik da clouds above, surround me
yo arms hold me rite
or sumthn lik that tis 1 kinda sucks
2007-11-01 02:22:13 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I appreciate that you feel head-over-heels for this girl. But she doesn't feel the same way. You need to accept that. If I got this poem from a guy who liked me, who I'd turned down 4 months ago, it would freak me out. I'd be thinking, geeze-- is he STILL obsessing about me? Scary! It sounds borderline stalker-ish. If you really want a chance with this girl, lay off and just be friends. Maybe eventually she'll develop feelings for you, maybe not. You can't force them with a poem like this. Do you really think she'll read this and then suddenly fall in love with you? Or does it seem more likely that she'd feel the need to change the locks on her doors?
2016-05-26 06:46:39 · answer #3 · answered by abbie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wrote an ex boyfriend football hooligan this poem
I queued outside for bloody hours
Hair all wet with the sodding showers
And its not much fun when your just five foot
Cos all ive seen is an old mans but
Never again will I go to a match
Id rather sit at home and scratch my s*****
I think it depends on who it is for, Its very romantic, hope its not for someone you just met
Good luck mr romantic
2007-11-01 03:29:25 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's ok, but there are so many references to death! Leaves falling, black holes, drowning in an ocean... I'd say lighten it up unless she's a goth!
Try substituting more positive images - maze instead of black hole, feather instead of leaf, cuddled by valleys instead of the ocean... that sort of thing.
I do like "in a moment without sound."
2007-11-01 02:22:54 · answer #5 · answered by musethefirst 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's so sad "like your arms hold me within" almost like you cant be with the person. But remember that song by " Plain white Ts" "Hay there Delilah".
What inspired it or who.
2007-11-01 02:52:47 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I like it, I'd give it a 10/10
I think the person that inspired you to write it must be amazing.
Your both very lucky.
You for being able to feel that way and her for getting you to express it! xx
2007-11-01 02:25:27 · answer #7 · answered by sylv_chick 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i write poems and this one of yours is quite good keep up the work and think you may produce more poems and yeah i like you got a nice touch with words well done mate sweet.
2007-11-01 02:48:16 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi I ma a lit teacher.. take the "like" out of the second line and say "as" and take the "like" out of the last line... Basic is beautiful.. good work.
D
2007-11-01 02:21:09 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's good-ish, a bit cheesy. I am trying to imagine how I would feel if my boyfriend had written that for me...would probably be happy but think he is a bit of a cheese-ball... and that I love him for it!
2007-11-01 02:21:00 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
change it a bit so it could be delivered in a flowing manner and lessen the use of 'like'. Be creative and play with words
2007-11-01 02:30:43 · answer #11 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋