How do I start a conversation with my best friends grandma? i want to talk to her, I've never opened up 2 any1

Question

i'm 16 years old and was raised in the church. there is no doubt i'm saved, but i've gotten bored with the whole Christian thing and have lately found myself listening and watching stuff that i normally wouldn't be and it has been affecting my thoughts and almost my speech and attitude terribly. i still go to church because i'm homeschooled and all my friends are there, and because everyone in my family has always done that, and it's what we as a family do every sunday and wednesday. i've never had a best friend in my life, and i've never opened up to anyone and just spilt everything and told everything. i have a friend now, and we like each other, but he lives with his grandma (she's looks and acts young enough to be his mom) and Mrs. Brenda has really taken a liking to me. I consider her my friend. and out of everyone i know, i want to talk to her. i don't feel like i can talk to my mom for fear of her saying things like "why would you think that", and not understanding....

i don't want to talk to my youth pastor, because she's nice and everything, but intimidates me a little and i'm just scared of what she might think of me. Mrs. Brenda would understand, and she wouldn't look down on me, or tell anyone about what i've told her. every time i see her (at church) i go up to her and give her a hug, and i just want to spill, but i know i can't. our youth group is going out for an outing this weekend and i want to talk to her then. i want to tell her that i am a dead Christian, that i believe everything i'm suppost to, but i just don't want to pray, or study the Bible, or witness. i want to tell her that i'm scared about my future, i'm about to graduate, and have no plans for college or anything. i want to tell her about how i find pleasure in hurting myself (i'm not a cutter, never will be, but i love it when i get a bruise, and sometimes, i scracth my arms to make them red) and i don't know why. my home life is perfect, why do i enjoy pain?

i want to tell her that i have a problem with making people up. i have this imaginary family in my head, and every time i'm alone, i act it out. at different times, i'm a different member of the family, and i get ideas from tv and books about what this family goes through (i even make fake profiles for them on yahoo answers, and everybody believes me). i want to tell her that i've been looking at things on the internet that i shouldn't be, and listening to music i shouldn't be, and it's getting to me by messing with my thoughts, and if everything that i thought in my mind, i spoke out loud, i would have the dirtiest mouth in the history of mankind. i want to tell her that i'm a liar at home. i lie about everything, doing my homework. being on the internet all day instead, and how i cheat sometimes. and how my parents trust me and think i'm the greatest teen in the world.

i want to ask her why her grandson likes me.he's tall and cute, and a great Christian. i wear glasses, i'm chubby, and my hair is stupid and i can only wear one hairstyle (low ponytail), i'm not pretty and he deserves a strong Christian girl, not a weak one. i want to tell her i'm scared. and i know she'll understand, and she'll pray with me, and she'll help me, and she won't tell a soul what i told her. but how? i'm the shyest person in the book, i can't even order my own food at McDonalds. i want to tell her everything, but I don't know how to start the conversation or get her alone with me away from the other kids. should i just forget about it altogether? HELP!!!!!!!

sorry if this is too long, please no answers saying "too long, thanks for 2 pts". please only people who can help thanks.

Answer 1

I grew up like you, always trying to be the perfect kid. The old ladies in church would say, "That's shirley's daughter, she's so nice." I never felt nice. But I would always try to be. I was not liked in school, never had a boyfriend until I was 18, but I relied on God because I was taught to. When I went to college I went to church and hung out with the ministers family because I had no friends in college. Eventually I started going to bars and getting drunk and sleeping with guys. I started living a dualistic life and had to give one up. I turned my back on God and lived a bad life for a while, drugs, alcohol, sex, but God never turned his back on me. He has always been there for me and protected me. He will do the same for you. Even though you are feeling dead as a christian, not praying, reading the bible, or feeding yourself with the Word, God has not turned his back to you. In fact, the very fact that you are writing this shows that the Holy Spirit is calling you back to him. God has your name written on the palm of his hand. It is very possible Satan has interferred with your life and given you TV, internet, etc to bring you down. My feeling is that you are marked to do something remarkable for God in your future, and Satan wants to stop you. Be strong. Come back. Get rid of the raunchy things in your life and the crap. Mrs. Brenda is just the person to help you. To start a conversation with her, ask to see her alone. Then say, "I really need someone to talk to. I have been having conflicting feelings thoughts and emotions and I am confused. I was taught to be one way but I am being pulled the other way." Then tell her what you have told us. If you can say all these things to the whole world, which is what you just did, then surely you can speak with someone who is very close to you. don't let the devil win.

Answer 2

Okay, well, the short answer to your question is really that you just find a time when the two of you can sit down uninterrupted and ask if she would sit and have a talk with you, that you want to ask her advice about something.

But sweetheart, you need help! I'm not saying that to be mean, but there is so much in your question that hints at low-self-esteem, at best, and some really really awful social skills, at worst.

Everything you say about yourself is negative! This is NOT what God intended for you.

Talk to your friend's grandmother, and I hope she can help you work through some of your stuff. At least, maybe it will get a little easier just by getting it out instead of trying to deal with all these feelings going on on your own.

But I would really suggest you speak with her, a parent, a pastor, anyone who can help, because you have to try to work through this self-esteem and social problem you seem to have right now.

As my son's favorite movie stars, Bob and Larry, would say, "God made you special, and he loves you very much!"

Answer 3

Well you have made a good start by addressing her by Mrs Brenda .I'm a grandparent now brought up by my Gradma years and years ago ,I still miss her even she passed away 50 years ago
Talk to Mrs Brenda ,she will give you lots of advice ,if your boyfriend's respect his elders like you you will get along fine .Life is short so make the most of it allways respect your elders thats why your on this Gods Earth .good luck

Answer 4

You could try asking her about her childhood, how it was back then, the trials and tribulations she had encountered. Then you could compare it to what you are going through now . And ask if she thinks what you are feeling is odd or did she go though anything similar when she was your age and how did she pull through to be the fine person you see today.

Answer 5

Just start talking, say something like.."Do you mind if I tell you something personal?"..and see where it takes you...some people love sharing what they know..and love to help..

Answer 6

The bigger the question, the shorter the answer.
"I don't know"

Answer 7

maybe u should try talking to boys instead of someones grandma!