kids trick or treated while daddy was out handing tracts, lol?

Question

i took my kids out trick or treating and refused to stay home like he wanted. hey the kids have been doing it since they were born im not about to stop it now just got he got "saved".
he went out with his church members holding picket signs and handing out tracks in salem, ma!
hubby came home upset, people really made fun of him.
i told him this would happen.
why wont he listen to me? i dont like the fact that hes "saved". he is evangelical now. im not. since he got saved he has become a boring old poop, only listening to christian music, and reading his bible and going to church. no longer wanting to go dancing, he stopped playing soccer, and basically lost all his friends with that constant preaching he does.
he says God and church are more important than me and kids and actually told me i was going to hell cause i believe in God but not in religion! he gives 10% of our money to his pastor and try to "forbid" me from doing things I've always done.

this happened to anyone else?

just wanted to state that i believe in God, just not in organized religion. and how is it disrespecting my husband if i post on yahoo answers looking for others who have gone thru the same for help with my situation?

jana11 if you are of that same religion that i would be ashamed of your answer.
a man does not have to be a drinker or smoker or anything else to be abusive. his new christian friend asked me this "dont you like him better now that he no longer drinks or smokes, ect"
i said i see no difference. he is still going out everyday except now its for the church and now his buddies. the kids and I are as neglected as ever. one vice for another in my opinion. do you think its right that my 2 year old wont go to him, and my 3 year old stopped calling him daddy? (on her own which is weird)
he is missing out on the best years in their lives, and i feel like a single mom?

pamela being a christian man doesnt mean you wont cheat. i didnt mention it before but read some of my very old questions and you will see this is hubbys second try at the religion thing. the first time it was after he was saved that he cheated on me with a married woman with 5 kids of her own! because i wasnt meeting his "needs".
well hey id recently had a baby, my 2 kids are real close in age, that and depo really affected me and i just couldnt.
anyways now he recommited himself to God but to me he seems like a weak man using religion to help make himself life a moral life.

and pkvan what kind of morals is it when you pass up spending time with your family (going apple picking) to visit someone you know cause he stopped going to church. (his latest church thing)


also for those that asked he says he is an evangelist?
i was raised pentecostal i think they are quite similar.

and no soccer cause games are on Sunday.

yes mable and others. he is not a bad man but he is NOT PERFECT either. was it right for him to tell me in front of our kids that and i quote "you are on your way to hell and i will not have the kids following you there"
then he basically threatened divorce if i did not start believing the same to him.

well first of all kids dont go to hell and secondly he is not God, so he is not my judge. and thirdly going to church does not make you a christian. and lastly i am entitled to my own beliefs.

and lastly im not trying to do anything disrespectful i just want my opinions to be heard as well and my family to get the attention they deserve. i would like to hear about other similar situations for advice on not losing my marriage over something like religion.

Answer 1

I think he's going a bit too far with it. I am saved as well, and I don't think I'm a radical. Yes, there are things I don't do anymore, but other things I do. Why did he give up soccer? As far as I know, soccer isn't against God's wishes. If he's concerned about the kind of people on the team, he should be concerned enough about their souls to want to witness to them (no, not jam Christ down their throats) by his changed life. And dancing, yeah, I know quite a few Christians who are against that, but that's not anti-biblical either. As for the telling you you're going to hell, that is for no one but God to decide. I WISH Christians would stop threatening others with that--in college I had someone tell me I was going to hell because I was baptized as a baby. SHEESH!!!!

I hope your husband will mellow out a bit. One can be Christian and spiritual without being a fanatic.

Answer 2

Why ask a question if you already have all of your own answers?I am going through an unwanted divorce right now. I am having a hard time of it and I don't have children. Do you think you could try to meet him half way for the children's sake? It could cause the Children emotional distress seeing Mom and Dad argue like this.

Answer 3

There is nothing wrong with what he is doing, the bible tells us this, to go and preach the word of God. Salvation is the only way to heaven, he is right. Here is a very good website to understand what your husband is talking about. http://av1611.com/kjbp/salvation.html

Not playing soccer on the other hand is kind of wierd, don't see why that would have to stop. You should support him in his choice, what is the church called?

EDit: to your edit that is pretty sad that he has devoted that much away from you and his children or should I say your children. But things might settle, because he is new to this, he is just probably trying to learn as much as possible. Not taking sides here but yall need to talk and listen to each others concerns. Don't interupt one another, and have an open mind.

Answer 4

He'll hopefully get over it before he ruins his marriage and christ's witness. That is what happens when you find God but you find a stuffy old church that puts rituals and traditions above having a vibrant and lively spiritual and real life.

Sounds like a very legalistic church. That is problem with those kinds of churches, they believe in 'religion' more than God. The 10% thing is also legalism. His mind has been warped by a 'Pharisee' of sorts. What kind of church is it, what is it called?

He needs counseling by a sane pastor. Pretty much the only thing you can do is pray that God gives him some wisdom. Explain to him how you feel and what he is doing it hurting the witness of Christ. His actions are not conducive to spreading any message other than I'm a stuffy old coot.

Next step is marriage counseling.

Failing that separation usually jars a man awake.

You might want to get him interested in a marriage bible study from the Fred Stoeker series. They ask the question would you rather be right or righteous...
http://www.amazon.com/Every-Mans-Marriage-previously-released/dp/1578565227

It is a part of the 'Every Man's' series.

It happened to me but until I started learning about my God through my own studies did I start to change.

Pretty much happened over a period of a year, this year actually.

While he isn't abusive physically he is abusive spiritually.

*** Thar be fundies around! Avast ye thumbs down ninjas! ***

I'd like to remind the fundies what the bible says about marriage:

Husbands love your wives as Jesus loves the church. Doesn't sound like Jesus' sort of love here...

Also I'd like to point out that changing into a 'righteous' person is not required as that is an outward and fake righteousness. Real righteousness is an inward transformation that does shine through. That too is another problem with these kinds of churches.

Answer 5

I know I'll get many thumbs down just like anyone else who has pointed out the good in your husband.But don't you think that your kids could have a far worse role model?

Answer 6

You have children! I don't think it would be a good thing to continue to disrespect their Father in front of them like this! You are married to a good man, some women get beaten on and cheated on and you have a good man and don't appreciate him.He gives his tithes to his Church not his Pastor. He could be drinking it up instead. I wish I had been lucky enough to have had a Christian husband. I came home on Sunday eve. from Church to find my next door neighbor coming out of my bedroom with my husband. My kids were with me and they saw it.

Edit: My Goodness for someone who means no disrespect you sure are showing a lot of it.

Answer 7

Sorry the man you married turned into an idiot.

You sound like you have a good head on your shoulders. Good luck!

Lamboram offered some sensible advice. Although I'm much more inclined to agree with posiedon, lamboram suggested that you try to find things that are comapatible with his new faith. If you think you can love the guy he's become, then that's probably the best route... although I personally think he has to be delusional to think that turning into a whole different person isn't goint to put you off!

Answer 8

Oh you poor Dear, you married a man with morals.
You sure don't want your children having that kind of influence in their lives! While you are at it show them how to disrespect their Daddy.

Answer 9

You poor thing. I hate to say it but it may be in your best interest to leave him and find someone you have more in common with.

I really don't want to tell you to flat out leave him but that may be the case. Have you talked with him about it? I he to far gone to find some sort of happy medium?

I hope everything works out for the best. I'll say a prayer for you (don't worry I'm not saved :P )

Answer 10

If you found a new belief and passion, wouldn't you want your husband to respect that? He can find new friends and a new soccer team, he's going through a time of huge change so maybe instead of complaining you should accept him and work on finding fun things you'll both enjoy that are compatible with his new beliefs.