He has not got a really bad mouth or anything...but every now and then he'll let out a swear word...not F or anything...but other words that I dont want our 3 year old to hear...it's probably about once a week....every time he does it, I instinctively poke him in the ribs os tap his hand or whatever and say "Dont swear!" he goes mad at me for it.....but I dont smack him hard or anything....my toddler doesnt notice me do it....it's a knee jerk reaction....I hate swearing in front of children and I do it because if my child came out with those words I would be devestated....am I wrong as he says I am for poking him or tapping him?
2007-11-01 00:04:21 · 23 answers · asked by Daisyhill 7 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
two words ... "swear jar"
get him to put in a fiver everytime he swears ... thats his drinking money lol
2007-11-01 00:07:31 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
Once bad habits are formed, they're hard to break. Setup a "Swear Jar" and put one in the house and car(s), clearly marked and in plain view as reminders. Every time he or you violate the program, donate $1 to the jar. My wife and I do that and pretty soon I had donated over $100 b/w all the jars! Swearing gets expensive and now I swear mostly when I'm not around her or anyone else (most of the time).
2007-11-01 01:51:42 · answer #2 · answered by Brewspy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you going to keep your child in a bubble under lock n key? He is going to be exposed to a lot of different areas where swearing will be a lot worse than he is exposed to at home from his dad. He could realise what you are doing with prodding his dad and see it as a way of getting dad into trouble....kids do stuff like that btw.....and in a way you are undermining his dad. It might be a good idea to discuss this with your husband and also how the pair of you are going to handle situations later when your son comes out with swear words he's picked up from the tv or outside your home. You will try your hardest to ensure that programmes with swearing on them are not heard by your son but he'll catch on to what your trying to prevent. If you react in a shocked and horrified way your lad will do it all the more even if you tell him off for it. Kids are such a joy at this age but try as you might they will swear just to see what your reaction will be like especially if they cotton on to your reaction. When he reaches teenage years he'll probably swear when he's out n about with his mates anyway despite everything you do!!! Enjoy him while he's still little. Ah bless! xx
2007-11-01 01:44:59 · answer #3 · answered by ? 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, he shouldn't be saying things like that in front of children, but poking him is not the way to make him stop or make your child understand that his language is offensive. A simple "Don't use that word, please" would be much more effective AND get your point across to the child that this is unacceptable.
I'm glad to see that someone still cares what their children hear and that you would me mortified if the child repeated the things he/she heard, but even when I was a child and cursing in front of children was NOT a common occurrence, we still managed to learn the words and use them. Of course we were a little older than your child, but it's going to happen and there's not a lot you can do other than teach your children that there are much nicer ways to express themselves.
2007-11-01 00:40:06 · answer #4 · answered by EvilWoman0913 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
That's a good question, but who decides what's a "swear" word as opposed to a "non-swear" word?
Sh!t means poo and crap and yet you CAN say crap and poo, but not sh!t.
I know it's not a good thing to say those words b/c of what society makes of it, but maybe you should make him put a $10 dollar bill in a jar for every word. You wont be poking him and he will curse alot less. Hopefully.
2007-11-01 00:30:23 · answer #5 · answered by Love is.. 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was brought up being taught that it was appalingly bad manners for a man to swear in 'mixed company' (in the presence of women) and reflected badly on him. My husband was brought up similarly.
My husband's only allowed to swear in the car - car language and the kids know never to repeat it.
I taught my kids that if they don't know the meaning of a word then don't use it. They are allowed to ask what any word means (even swear words) and I will give them a 100% honest answer and then tell them if it is an acceptable word to use.
Shock tactics work for me, if he lapses tell him what you think of him swearing using every swear word you can muster and when he looks suitable shocked remind him that it'll be even less attractive when its coming out of the mouth of his child, most probably at a particularly quiet moment in front of people whose opinions matter to him.
It worked on my Mother-in-law who used to think it was just a quaint old-fashioned turn of phrase to call the kids little b_gg_rs. I told the kids exactly what it meant in front of her and she never used it again!
I do think you are bang out of order reacting physically towards your hubby even half-heartedly. As you say kids pick these things up and it is as disrespectful for you to dig him in front of the kids as it is for him to swear.
2007-11-01 14:13:12 · answer #6 · answered by Jen 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Swearing is a full part of our language - personally I don't trust people who don't swear - I feel they are probably able to use a similar restraint to ensure they do not express their full feelings. Your sweet little child will come across those words sooner or later, and it is probably better dealt with in a controlled situation. If i was your husband, yes, I'd probably get mad at you too - he probably has a more progressive attitude to what is acceptable in front of your toddler, and his attitude IS as valid as yours, no matter what you may think based on your own 'moral value system'.......
2007-11-01 00:16:52 · answer #7 · answered by eriverpipe 7 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Yes it is. If it's a knee jerk reaction you'll end up doing it in front of your child at some point. It's disrespectful to your partner for you to behave like that. Just TALK to him about it for God's sake. I'm not surprised he's mad at you. I agree you shouldn't swear in front of children but you shouldn't get physical with each other either.
2007-11-01 00:10:07 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 8⤊ 2⤋
Let him swear his head off Miss Prim and Proper at least hes not belting you and you are irritating at times arent you could you stop doing this and perhaps he wouldnt NEED to swear !!!!!
2007-11-03 00:44:02 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You shouldn't have to prod him. He is a grown man, he should know better. We don't use the words "stupid" or "hate" in front of the children never mind, mild swear words.
2007-11-01 00:14:56 · answer #10 · answered by Chris 6 · 3⤊ 1⤋
He should know better!
My husband once shouted out wan**er ! at a motorist who almost took our front end of the car! He immediately appologised to our 3 kids in the back and carried on, a couple of minutes later a little voice said
'mummy, what's a wan**er?' it was funny, but we were mortified our son had taken it in.
The lesson we learned was the kids will hear it and we should not use bad language!
He may need a sit down chat, if your child is 3 and he hasn't managed to curb his bad language yet!
You are right to expect him to curb it, don't give up!!
2007-11-01 00:12:08 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 6⤊ 3⤋