I am having a $100 dinner per person along with drinks, appetizers, and so forth. I have a huge family and so does my fiancee--totalling about 200 persons on both sides. The total guests are 300. How can I get relatives to help fund my wedding because they are all affluent, but I am not working and fiancee just landed a job, so $$ is questionable right now, but we want to keep up with Jones's as all my relative's weddings were lavish.
2007-10-31 20:47:41 · 30 answers · asked by Born Valentine's Day 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Responsible planning involves sticking with an affordable budget. Maybe you should wait to have the wedding you can afford and want. The only relatives that should help fund your wedding are you're parents.
2007-11-01 17:51:09 · answer #1 · answered by Mel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi. This post MUST be a joke. I am seriously doubting that this is real.
And, if it is....good luck! You are going to need it! It will be $30,000 just for the food and you want to keep up with the Joneses? You are posting on the wrong website. You won't get any sympathy on here. And why should your relatives finance YOUR wedding? I don't care if they are affluent or not!
A wedding is paid for by the bride and groom! Get a job and pay for it yourself! There are many brides on here having a wedding anywhere from $500 to $5,000 TOPS!! Quit trying to impress people if you do not have the means. No one is impressed! Have a BBQ in your backyard and have the wedding YOU can afford!
2007-11-01 16:18:16 · answer #2 · answered by iloveweddings 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe it's time for some brave soul (you) to step up and let people know that the "Jones's" are out of control. If there are people in your family who would look down on you for having a smaller, less expensive wedding, are they really that important to you? What are you going to do for children's birthday parties (if you plan to have kids) or other celebrations in the future?
So...
-If you MUST have the expensive wedding, wait until *you* can afford it (ettiquette says that even having a cash bar is considered inappropriate)
-If you can do without the extravagance, have yourself a lovely wedding on a budget (thousands of websites on this), and realize that the money spent on the wedding doesn't reflect the quality of the relationship or the people involved.
Good luck...I know this is a tough situation and people are getting on your case about it. You're not a bad person for considering this -- just be sure not to actually go through with it!
2007-11-01 02:25:02 · answer #3 · answered by mellowyellow5 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
There is NO WAY that you can ask or hint to your guests and/or relatives that they pay for their own dinners. Would you ask someone to bring their own turkey, gravy, and mashed potatoes to your house for Thanksgiving dinner?
As the host and hostess (and mature adults) it is your responsibility to find the most affordable way to entertain your guests within your own budget (or the agreed upon budget with your parents). And if you cannot to do that, then you need to change your plans NOW (reduce your guest count and/or simplify your menu or both).
True story . . a Bride and Groom just assumed that his parents, her parents, and her grandparents would pay for their wedding because the parents and grandparents were "financially comfortable." So twelve months before their wedding date, the Bride and Groom put a deposit on a wedding and reception at a nice hotel . . a photographer . . a five tiered wedding cake . . a videographer . . a small band . . a florist . . a hair dresser . . a make-up artist . . wedding rings . . and ordered wedding invitations. Well surprise, surprise neither the parents nor the grandparents approved of the Bride and Grooms plans and refused to cooperate. So instead of having a big, lavish wedding with all of the hoopla, the Bride and Groom had an arguement with their parents and grandparents, lost all of their deposits, cancelled their wedding, and finally got married by a JP on a Friday afternoon alone. Is this what you want?
Answered by: A Certified wedding specialist / A Professional bridal consulant / A Wedding ceremony officiant
2007-11-01 00:51:44 · answer #4 · answered by Avis B 6 · 7⤊ 0⤋
If you're old enough to get married, you're old enough to pay for it yourself. You cannot make anyone else pay without looking like a major cheapskate. If you honestly can't afford something that lavish, you either need to cut your guest list or scale back your wedding and have something less expensive like desserts and coffee which can feed a large crowd and be very elegant for a fraction of the price of a 7course dinner.
Your biggest mistake *is* wanting to keep up with the Joneses, especially when you say you can't afford it. Pick one or the other but you can't have both.
2007-11-01 05:14:07 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can't really charge people $100 per plate for your reception, that is rude. Maybe you can make it more palatable by breaking up the cost. Maybe charge $20 admission to church. Are you a boxing fan? Some boxers have literally sold their skin for temporary tattoos. Obviously some body parts are more valuable than others. Then $10 (cheap seats) and $20 (front row) to see you leave the church. Sell rice or birdseed for the guests to throw. Of course, you must search all guests to make sure they don't sneak in unauthorized rice. At the reception you can charge $20 for chicken and $30 for beef. Everyone knows drinks are over-priced. People will feel like they are getting a deal by only paying $4 or $5 per drink.
If you need any more fund raising ideas feel free to ask for more.
2007-11-01 05:07:53 · answer #6 · answered by Adoptive Father 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Keep it basic! You sound very selfish even considering planning a wedding whilst your not working! Me and my fiance are planning our wedding for Sept next year and of course we want the best things and our day to be perfect but were both working our asses off in the process! If you want a "lavish" wedding like your relatives then get a job and help fund your "lavish" wedding don't ask others to pay for it! They are being invited as your guests not your walking bank account!
2007-11-01 01:18:15 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 7⤊ 0⤋
Pfft. Asking for people to pay for the wedding is *really* going to impress them. Badly.
Get married in Hawaii or Las Vegas. Then hold a nice little reception in a dance hall or gymnasium. Make it fun and quirky -- then you can ask the guests to bring covered dishes (like a pot luck) and help put up the decorations. They'll talk about *that* kind of wedding for a long time. Sure, you might have some snide comments, but you're really going to generate the snide comments (and bad feelings) if you ask them to pay $100 to attend your wedding.
(-: I was able to ask guests to pay $50 for my wedding reception, but that's because I live in northern Japan, and everyone does it. Won't work unless your rellies are Japanese, I'm afraid. You could always look for a new fiancee, I suppose.
2007-10-31 22:26:53 · answer #8 · answered by Madame M 7 · 8⤊ 0⤋
convinced, it changed into incorrect and impolite of you to ask. there is not any rule that asserts mum and dad might want to pay on your wedding ceremony. something mum and dad supply should be gratefully universal as a present, no longer a duty. you're 27 years previous, attempt to be able to pay for it your self. in case you won't be able to manage to pay for the marriage you pick you've 2 concepts - settle for a more cost-effective wedding ceremony or wait slightly longer and keep.
2016-10-23 05:05:03 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People who want to put their money into savings and investments determined what their budget is FIRST. And then they plan their guest lists, food, and so on to fit within that budget. If you just choose what you want to do and your plan for financing it is "I have a dream; end of plan" then you will be putting your money into interest and finance fees, not your own savings.
Unless you and your parents have the kind of relationship where you can casually say "By the way Mummy, I'll be needing $40,000 or so for my wedding" then you're in a bit of a pickle, aren't you?
Probably the only ADULT (as opposed to spoiled little brat) way to approach it is for each of you to approach his/her parents and ask for advice on how to keep your wedding expenses under $8K (or whatever amount you've saved up so far) and hope that they will take pity and offer to contribute a few $K. Don't use this as a threat or a bullying technique, but you might mention "I especially need help with the guest list; we can only have 40 people and I'm nost sure how to choose the 20 from our side. And of course, I'll only have one attendent. Who do you think I should ask?"
If your parents are less concerend than you about keeping "up with the Jones's" you might get a respsonse like "A small wedding sounds wonderful dear. I'm so proud of you for doing this within your means instead of expecting your mother and I to tap into our retirement funds."
You can hope to re-coup some of your funds via gifts of cash and returnable goods, but it would be foolish to count these chickens before they are hatched. The mannerly way to direct guests presumed generosity is to do RSVP by phone; during the RSVP conversation nearly everyone asks what sort of gift you'd like. Since it's rude to bring the subject up yourself, provide your guests with every possible opportunity to ask. (BTW, brides don't take and make all those RSVP calls personally; friends and family help.)
Whether you get more money, trim your expenses, wait and save, or whatever ... my primary advice is DO NOT go into debt, especially credit card debt, in order to throw a party that is beyond your means. Starting a marriage with a huge burden of debt can sabotage the marriage before it has a chance to really get started.
2007-11-01 01:24:27 · answer #10 · answered by kill_yr_television 7 · 5⤊ 0⤋