Me and my boyfriend just came home from seeing Tyler Perry "Why did I get married?". So we were talking about the movie and during the course of the conversation I asked him if in 10 years of us into marriage, does he ever think he will look at another woman and want to have sex with her? He says" Im going to be honest, yea I think I will". I was so hurt by that comment that I couldn't even speak. He said he was joking but I dont believe him. Do you think he is lying? I dont understand how he claims that he loves me with all his heart but he says he might cheat on me and now I am going to leave him. Do you think I am overreacting?I am really hurt by that Any suggestions?
2007-10-31 16:22:15 · 32 answers · asked by Little Older, Much Wiser 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I don't think you should break up with him. I don't think you should ask that question and he should not answer if you ask. As women, most of us don't look at a handsome man and want to have sex with him. But a lot of men do. They are primitive. The answer he gave to you was honest and not wrong. If you asked him the following question "if in 10 years of us into marriage, will you ever look at another woman and then have sex with her?", he answered the way he did, then you have a problem.
By the way, why would you ask such a girl question to a primitive human specie?
2007-10-31 16:58:19 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
sounds to me like you wanted him to answer a loaded question. he was honest with you. that's a good sign. he didn't say he would cheat. he just said that he would think about having sex. here's the other part...you'll look at men and find them attractive also. however, there's a huge difference between finding someone attractive and then finding that special someone that you care and would give the whole world for. when you have that true love, no thoughts of cheating will enter your mind. that's my opinion. you have a right to be upset since it's a hurting comment. however, you need to sit down and talk about it...there's a great book on couples on the internet. it has 1,000 questions that couples should ask before they get married. it's something to look into. i downloaded it and found that it really helped me get to know my current girlfriend. she's awesome and as we went through the book, we have really learned more about each other.
2007-10-31 16:29:19 · answer #2 · answered by Adam 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is very similar to the question " Does this dress make me look fat?". If you don't want your boyfriend's honest opinion you shouldn't ask. You really are overreacting. He didn't say he would cheat on you, just that he might find himself fantasizing about another woman which is so normal. I bet you will do the same with other men you find attractive.
2007-10-31 16:26:56 · answer #3 · answered by Rosha N 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your overreating yes, but when we love people we all do. The slightest thing can hurt us. Actions speak louder than words though. And we all look at other people and think oh they're hot and stuff but that's lust...now if you get into bed with them that's different. But if he's not staring at a girl or anything then don't worry about it. You can't hate human nature. DOn't you look at other guys? not like you want something from them but you think they're hot or something. Then that means your cheating. But as long as he doesn't react on what he's thinking and is still loyal everything should be ok. Don't worry
2007-10-31 16:34:38 · answer #4 · answered by It is what it is 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No wonder men can't understand women! You have put him in a double bind, damned if answers and damned if he doesn't.
Did you want the truth or did you want re-assurance? Either way you didn't get what you wanted.
Yes I think you are over-reacting, but go ahead and mess yourself and your relationship up, it's your choice.
Seriously, I think you need to ask yourself some serious questions about your relationship and how YOU handle it.
(And here's a little bit of truth for you, men look at women - all the time - whether you like it or not. The question is, has he cheated on you? If not, then leave it alone and cut him some slack).
PS, He sounds like a Saggitarian
2007-10-31 16:29:54 · answer #5 · answered by yutu34 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
whether he was joking or not, you'll probably think the same thing after 10 years too. hell, people think about that kind of stuff when they're dating. it's usually only thoughts though, not actions.
i'm in a relationship and i often think about what it would be like to be with another girl now, but i dont mean in the physical aspect of it, more the mental. cos i've been with her and only her for so long i wonder what i'd be like with another woman?
to sum it up, don't overreact
2007-10-31 16:31:30 · answer #6 · answered by Stanislav 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Every guy will, at some point, look at a girl and think about having sex with her. Generally speaking... it happens. It's how men are. They may truly love you with all their heart, and want to be with only you, but they will look around. It's how they respond to what they see or think that counts.
What you need to think about is if he's the type to actually do it, or is he the type of guy who would avoid those temptations, who would put you first, who would say no if the opportunity presented itself. If his comment made you uncomfortable, tell him so. Talk to him about it. Find out what he thinks about that sort of thing. Would he think he's okay to cheat? Just talk about it, if you don't like his answers.. move on.
2007-10-31 16:27:48 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I wouldn't take it personally. I think that a lot of males will always look at attractive women and think that they want to have sex with them. It's in their nature or something.
The real question is: "would he ACT on the desire to have sex with another woman?" He should say "No, of course not!! Not now, not 10, 20, 30 years from now!" There is no harm in finding another woman attractive or in wanting to have sex with her, HOWEVER, your boyfriend (if he really and truly loves you) should keep those thoughts as just that, thoughts, and never WANT to ACT on those thoughts because he loves you and you are his first and primary concern, thought, and love.
2007-10-31 16:32:21 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd get offended and upset, too. But seeing a hot girl and thinking about having sex with her and actually doing it is completely different... I know why you're upset, but deep down, do you really think he'd follow through? Or just think about it? I'm not taking up for him b/c that was a really rude thing to say, but if my b/f would have said something like that to me, this would be my thought process after I calmed down a little.
2007-10-31 16:29:48 · answer #9 · answered by F.J. 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
thats a really awful thing to say joking or not.
you need to act weird and moody around him and show him that you're hurt! Make sure he knows whats wrong. Then talk it out and "get over it".
It'll set him strait, he'll never do it again either.
I also don't think its worth breaking up over if this is the only thing wrong in your relationship right now.
*i would break up with him if he doesn't react to the way you handle this, that means he doesn't care about you (it hurts, i know)
hope i helped!
2007-10-31 16:33:29 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋