Do you keep it to yourself or tell your friend and break her heart?
2007-10-31 16:02:46 · 23 answers · asked by superduper 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
That is your friend. Loyalty is a part of friendship. And so is trust, she trusts you as a friend to be there for her and to make sure she doesn't get hurt. Friends don't let each ither get hurt. And by knowing he cheated on her & not telling her, is KIND OF like lying to her. Put yourself in her shoes. Would you want to know? And of course, she will be heartbroken for awhile. but she WILL find someone else, someone WAY better. He will just keep cheating. Especially if he knows you won't tell if you know. If you feel guilty about not telling, that's a good sign that you SHOULD tell. It'll feel better when you get it off your chest.
2007-10-31 17:25:24 · answer #1 · answered by lillette17 2 · 5⤊ 0⤋
There is something troubling about this question, what exactly do you mean by "Got off". If you mean you know 100% for sure that he had sex with another woman or you are putting 2 and 2 together and jumping to conclusions, if it is the latter then I have to question your motives, it is no good asking what to do on a web site and taking a straw poll, why would you need to if you have absolute proof. Only you know how close a friend she is and if your evidence is strong enough to potentially destroy a day that she has planned and looked forward to for months possibly and if you do tell her you stand likely to be painted as the villain not only by her but by anyone else she is close to, people have a long memory about situations like this.
I would think hard and long if I were you because the bottom line will be who she is going to believe you or him and that will be when your motives really will be questioned. Best of luck whatever you decide.
2007-10-31 17:08:09 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lots of times, when a friend tells another friend about their significant other running around on them .. the person gets mad at the friend the most.
Most likely, if you tell your friend .. and she calls OFF the wedding .. the whole thing could be blamed on you.
If you did NOT see this with your own eyes .. and know exactly - without a doubt - this happened ... then you actually do NOT know for sure it happened. So .. could you tell your friend if you did not experience seeing it?
Some people would want to know about the cheating .. and some people would NOT want to know. You know your friend the best.
Personally, I would want my friend to tell me. I might would even feel betrayed if they did not tell me .. but that is just me. I have a friend who could never handle the news .. and she would get mad at the person who told her. Have you ever heard the saying " don't kill the messenger" ? .. meaning, that the messenger who only brings the news - is the person who receives the wrath.
This choice is your choice .. but be ready for a different kinds of possible repercussions.
2007-10-31 16:29:39 · answer #3 · answered by Tara 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Instead of telling her, do it the sneaky way.
Get his mobile number and make an anonymous call or
text message. Tell him you know what he did, and what a slimeball he is and if he doesnt fess up before the wedding, a public announcement will be made at the wedding.
That way he will either A. tell her or B. get very uncomfortable and spend all his wedding day sweating and worrying about her finding out and regretting what he did.
At least then she cant blame you for breaking them up and wrecking their wedding day
2007-10-31 20:34:02 · answer #4 · answered by bluegirl6 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok, I'm assuming sex (or oral, or whatever...but more than just friendly petting or flirting). . .
You HAVE to tell your friend.
Describe it in full detail, but in a non-biased presentation...don't present it in an "anti-him" attitude.
Explain it as it happened, with nothing but the facts, then let your friend talk to you about how she feels.
You CANNOT let her marry him without knowing this detail. ESPECIIIIIALY if it really was something further than just friendly flirting or bachelor-party related stuff...
Letting a marriage occur without knowing that event is just letting them live a lie THAT WILL PROBABLY REAR-UP IT'S UGLY FACE AGAIN, and only hurt her EVEN MORE.
TELL HER! Calmly, and with no opinion of your own, and let her decide how she feels about it.
Good luck!
2007-10-31 17:12:00 · answer #5 · answered by suezzle 3 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Well if he is cheating on her just before the wedding I think you should tell her at once..! What if he keeps this up after the marriage? It’s better to break her heart now than see her marriage and her heart being broken later..! She should know the truth its her right and after that if she decides to forgive him its her problem..!
2007-11-01 00:07:06 · answer #6 · answered by Anya K 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Did you see something actually happen? I would say something. With the high divorce rate, if he's cheating, is he going to stop when he's married? Probably not. They'll just end up divorced or both be miserable. Since you didn't say what you saw, it's really up to you. If you saw him actually cheat then I'd say something. Even if it's blamed on you, at least you tried to help your friend.
2007-11-01 01:20:37 · answer #7 · answered by Rockit 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well, I was the best man at a friend's wedding, and she went on honeymoon with her boyfriend, not husband. So, if the marriage goes badly wrong, which in this case it did, there's not a lot you can do.
The stag night was the most nerve wracking experience I had ever had.
2007-10-31 16:43:18 · answer #8 · answered by Zheia 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Keep your mouth shut if you want to keep a friend.
Leave it up to the groom and his conscious to tell the bride.
If he doesn't and they live happy ever after,never never bring it up,but if he continues his roaming ways and they break up you may bring it up in a casual manner,but only after you know for sure the marriage is over.
2007-10-31 16:27:35 · answer #9 · answered by gidget 3 · 0⤊ 3⤋
Do you care enough about her to just want to do whats best for her even if it means losing her as a friend?
Tell her, don't let her throw away her life on some cheating jerk.
2007-10-31 22:17:19 · answer #10 · answered by Olivia! 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋