i'm 16 years old and was raised in the church. there is no doubt i'm saved, but i've gotten bored with the whole Christian thing and have lately found myself listening and watching stuff that i normally wouldn't be and it has been affecting my thoughts and almost my speech and attitude terribly. i still go to church because i'm homeschooled and all my friends are there, and because everyone in my family has always done that, and it's what we as a family do every sunday and wednesday. i've never had a best friend in my life, and i've never opened up to anyone and just spilt everything and told everything. i have a friend now, and we like each other, but he lives with his grandma (she's looks and acts young enough to be his mom) and Mrs. Brenda has really taken a liking to me. I consider her my friend. and out of everyone i know, i want to talk to her. i don't feel like i can talk to my mom for fear of her saying things like "why would you think that", and not understanding....
2007-10-31 15:38:30 · 13 answers · asked by :) 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
i don't want to talk to my youth pastor, because she's nice and everything, but intimidates me a little and i'm just scared of what she might think of me. Mrs. Brenda would understand, and she wouldn't look down on me, or tell anyone about what i've told her. every time i see her (at church) i go up to her and give her a hug, and i just want to spill, but i know i can't. our youth group is going out for an outing this weekend and i want to talk to her then. i want to tell her that i am a dead Christian, that i believe everything i'm suppost to, but i just don't want to pray, or study the Bible, or witness. i want to tell her that i'm scared about my future, i'm about to graduate, and have no plans for college or anything. i want to tell her about how i find pleasure in hurting myself (i'm not a cutter, never will be, but i love it when i get a bruise, and sometimes, i scracth my arms to make them red) and i don't know why. my home life is perfect, why do i enjoy pain?
2007-10-31 15:39:19 · update #1
i want to tell her that i have a problem with making people up. i have this imaginary family in my head, and every time i'm alone, i act it out. at different times, i'm a different member of the family, and i get ideas from tv and books about what this family goes through (i even make fake profiles for them on yahoo answers, and everybody believes me). i want to tell her that i've been looking at things on the internet that i shouldn't be, and listening to music i shouldn't be, and it's getting to me by messing with my thoughts, and if everything that i thought in my mind, i spoke out loud, i would have the dirtiest mouth in the history of mankind. i want to tell her that i'm a liar at home. i lie about everything, doing my homework. being on the internet all day instead, and how i cheat sometimes. and how my parents trust me and think i'm the greatest teen in the world.
2007-10-31 15:39:45 · update #2
i want to ask her why her grandson likes me.he's tall and cute, and a great Christian. i wear glasses, i'm chubby, and my hair is stupid and i can only wear one hairstyle (low ponytail), i'm not pretty and he deserves a strong Christian girl, not a weak one. i want to tell her i'm scared. and i know she'll understand, and she'll pray with me, and she'll help me, and she won't tell a soul what i told her. but how? i'm the shyest person in the book, i can't even order my own food at McDonalds. i want to tell her everything, but I don't know how to start the conversation or get her alone with me away from the other kids. should i just forget about it altogether? HELP!!!!!!!
sorry if this is too long, please no answers saying "too long, thanks for 2 pts". please only people who can help thanks.
2007-10-31 15:40:03 · update #3
Honey you are just being a kid. These are the kinds of things that kids do.
You are not bad, and you are not messed up.
You are learning and growing. This is what someone your age is supposed to do. It is not a sin and you are a good person.
Love and blessings Don
2007-10-31 15:46:53 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Wow! you sound a lot like me! At least in part of my life. I have also been a Christian my whole life. Until about a year ago i was what you would call a "dead christian." But within the past year my church has completely changed and grown in God. He is so amazing. About talking to your youth pastor; you should!, that's what they're for! Or tell someone else that you're close with. It's amazing how much i can relate. I also imagine a different life sometimes. I imagine what other people think. It's not always a good habbit. You said that you've been doing a lot of things that you know are wrong and don't know why. Right now the devil knows you feel insecure and thinks he can take you down and turn you against God. He is constantly after Christians, especially teens. What he never lerans is that the more he tries to take us apart, the more we grow stronger in God (if we fight). Knowing that you're doing wrong means you have decernment from God. The next time you get the urge to do something that you know doesn't honor God, PRAY. God loves you so much, and never looks down on you. "For I AM the complete expression of love" God Bless!
2016-04-11 06:54:03 · answer #2 · answered by Aline 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds as if the Holy Spirit may be drawing you to this woman as a mentor, someone to give you guidance. I really doubt you are a "dead Christian." You sound like a normal, albeit insecure, teenage girl. Not many kids your age do feel a strong urge to pray or study God's word yet. It's enough that you be open to Him, when the time comes. As for what to talk to her about- anything! I've been working with elderly people a long time, and they really aren't that different from anyone else. Just more experienced. Everything you, as a young person, are going through, odds are that she's been through something very like it already, and can offer understanding. You say she's taken a liking to you, and I'm sure that's true. It may be that the Holy Spirit is also drawing her to you. God has a way of bringing the right people into your life when you need them.
God bless you both, and may you enrich one another's lives.
And by the way- if the boy likes you that much there must be something very good there that he sees. You make people up? You have a writer's imagination. His grandma likes you? She must see something good in you. Try asking God to help you see the good things about yourself, because they are there.
2007-10-31 15:59:25 · answer #3 · answered by Amalthea 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You have come from a sheltered life, and need loving help !!! You will make an excellant fiction writer !!! You have done some of the necessary steps for that profession !!! You can start writing about this new person you would like to be and start acting it out !!! You are undoubtably a very bright girl !!! By the way think just about being friends with the boys !!! From now on you are going to grow up fast so get ready for it !!! You will do fine, just start giving all your feelings to God and ask for His help !!! He definetely understands you better than you understand yourself !!! Look for christian teen sites on the internet and find some friends there too !!!
You didn't know this but some us guys like shy girls so don't worry about your shyness !!!
Love God with your whole heart and you will love yourself better !!! Be honest and up front about your feelings !!! If you blush you will get over that !!!
2007-10-31 16:06:07 · answer #4 · answered by rapturefuture 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Girl, it sounds like you may have more problems than your friends grandma can help you with. If you decide to talk to her, you should ask her if she can help you get to a counselor but I don't know if she can do that without your parents permission but maybe she can.
As an adult it would not be right for her to hear serious problems and not tell your parents about it.
You should talk to her because you need someone that you can trust, but if you have serious self esteem issues that are causing you to want to hurt yourself you have to allow this adult to help you, you can't expect her to keep this a secret.
And it should not be a secret, it's nothing to be ashamed of and it is nothing that cannot be fixed.
In fact I think you will be surprised at how easy it is to fix, so yes talk to her and to anyone else that you trust.
Good Luck :)
2007-10-31 15:48:25 · answer #5 · answered by Daisy Indigo 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi!
A couple of things pop out with perfect clarity from what you've written:
--You already like Mrs. Brenda
--You already feel that Mrs. Brenda likes you
I think you will be safe in asking Mrs. Brenda if you can talk to her about a few things.
I think the youth retreat is a PERFECT time for you to do that.
Sometimes, to get the information we really need, or to work out things we really need to work out, we just have to MAKE ourselves take that first step. So, if you really want to talk to her about your issues and questions, then you are going to have to ask her if you can talk to her...
and I'm one hundred percent sure she is going to say "ok!"
Don't worry about the subject matter - she already likes you and she won't judge you. If she's been around church much, and it seems like she has been, she won't be surprised or shocked by anything you say.
And I think you will be blessed by having someone to talk to and pray with you.
So I hope you'll take that step!
Blessings on you.
2007-10-31 15:46:23 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I thought they took "The Sopranos" off TV in the US. Just sit down next to her and start talking. I bet she says when your not around , that you don't say much. Don't push all the issues you have as soon as she says her first word. Just say Gran I need a chat there has been things on my mind and I feel comfortable enough to talk over them with you alone. Believe me she will want to listen and maybe offer you some advice.
2007-10-31 15:49:35 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Print out this question and give it to her. If you can summon the courage, tell her you admire her and need her advice about something and then give her what you wrote! Give her some time to read it and if she is the right person for you to talk to, she will approach you!
I will pray that she will recognize your need to talk without you having to do to much and that she will be led to approach you...you can pray the same thing. It does sound like you need to talk to someone and I believe God knows that...if you trust him and are willing to take even a tiny step toward reaching out, he will put the right person in your path to help you.
2007-10-31 15:49:10 · answer #8 · answered by KAL 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Ask her how things have changed in this world since she was a little girl. People generally like to talk about themselves and if you really listen carefully there will be a lot for you to learn. That should help to make a friend of her.
2007-10-31 15:45:52 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
you don't have very good self-esteem.
Start a conversation by asking her to describe what it was like when she was in high school, get her talking about herself. that's the best way to get to know someone, is to get over your self consciousness and get them talking about themselves. Then she will probably ask you something, and take it from there.
2007-10-31 15:55:41 · answer #10 · answered by Squirrley Temple 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋