he is obsessed with my education, my parents are divorced and when i'm at his house, he makes me study 4 hours a day and if i get a B he'll yell at me. He always wants me to be in the front row and now everyone thinks i'm a geek. He hits me a lot and yells at me in front of everyone and once even spanked me in front of the whole school when i was in 4th grade. When i was 8 i got a C and he slapped me. He makes me feel like i'm a piece of crap by verbally abusing me and calling me bad words. I once told him he was a mean person and he told me that i was going to do drugs and that i'll get pregnant when i'm 15. He hurts my mom when he comes over to her house and since he's a lawyer, if my mom took him to court he would win anyway. Everytime he gets a girlfriend, he makes out with her in front of me and when i tell him to stop he says he loves her more than me. Sometimes he's nice but sometimes he can be the most horrible parent ever. Any suggestions besides telling someone?
2007-10-31 14:54:09 · 9 answers · asked by arielle s 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I think telling someone is the only way. He's a grown man, you can't and you shouldn't have to stand up to him. Tell your mom. This is verbal and physical abuse. This can really mess you up mentally when you get older. Seek some help, maybe a school counselor, but definitely tell your family. Maybe you should live with another relative.
2007-10-31 15:10:07 · answer #1 · answered by 1080 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're too young and he's the "authority", so no, i don't think there's any way you can stand up for your rights and "compel" him to treat you right on your own. You need to look for help, and quick. I don't know what the custody agreement is or what the law is like where you live, but I believe there's a certain age when kids are already able to choose whether they want to visit/live with one of their parents or not.... if this is the case, you can just try to not go to his house as often and ask your mother to intervene. Maybe she can't do it legally for now but she will certainly demand that you be treated right. It's your right, and it's the least she can do for you. Don't let ANYONE treat you like this, ever, nobody has the right to do so even if it's your parent. Good luck and keep in mind that you're a valuable person for yourself and not because of your grades, and your life will be like you choose it to be, not what your father or anyone else "thinks" it's gonna be like, and I know you'll be smart not to make the same poor choices and behavior that your father seems to have.
2007-10-31 15:24:12 · answer #2 · answered by Lprod 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I feel sorry for you. Your dad really does want you to do well for the future, he just doesn't know how to go about it. Pushing you (for good grades) is ok but hitting and insulting is proof he doesn't know how to go about helping you in a positive manner. It probably came from his father and that's the only way he learned.
It's too bad. He's hurting something that he should be helping in a GOOD way.
Don't even think about the relationship between him and your Mom. That's THEIR problem, not yours.
Get good grades for yourself, not for him. It's the one way you can escape his control when you get older.
Unless you have a chance of him physically hurting you badly, I would just live through it and get some help from another understanding adult.
Understand that he is NOT right. A lot of adults & parents are not right. It's possible he bluffs you with his threats but if the thing with the girlfriend is true, he's really out of touch..........Your Mom would NOT lose in court because he's a lawyer. She would lose in court because she couldn't prove her case.....Good Luck
2007-10-31 15:22:04 · answer #3 · answered by Carl R 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You really need to tell someone. Sorry but that is the only solution for such a problem. Tell your mom or someone teacher at school. Tell your mom you don't want to go there again and explain why. I'm sure she ought to be able to find a lawyer, even out of town, that would help. Child protection services would help also. You need to stay away from this man before something worse happens. He's is hurting you because of the problems between him and your mom. You shouldn't take that blame so don't go blaming yourself. Your to good and young for that. If you have to tell one of your friends parents, they could help. Even tell the local police.
2007-10-31 15:13:42 · answer #4 · answered by insane one 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is there a mother around or another relation you can speak with? I really feel sorry for your situation. I know my dad was really abuse toward me and my brothers and sisters too! And has a adult now, I find its harder to do certain things because my confident level is not what it could be. I do hope your father shows you more love and respect then it seems like he is showing you now. It sounds like he may have some major issues! Good Luck to you :)
2007-10-31 15:07:47 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
once i was in the same situation with you,as time goes by ,i come to realized what he had done just to expect a great future for me,so i don't hate him anymore.maybe you could try to think about it in that way,then you won't be so chagrin!
hope it helps
2007-11-02 02:48:05 · answer #6 · answered by happy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
seek counseling
2007-10-31 15:32:46 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
i know skool isnt everything football is
2007-10-31 15:23:12 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
just slap him
2007-10-31 16:06:54 · answer #9 · answered by Anna 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋