I'm a very stressed 13 yr old. girl.........please help!!!!?

Question

I am soooooo cofused about who I am and who I want to be. I see different ppl around me, on the computer or tv and I decide I want to be like them and I cant be like them. I fail and find someone else to be like. (because I dont like who I am and alot of ppl inspire me) I have two different ways of thinking, I really can't explain it. I am shy, slow in certain areas, and self-centered. When i hear a song that compares to me and/or my life I start crying and get really depressed. Also my mom is a 75% melancholy and 25% cholaric. my dad: 75%phlegmatic and 25% melancholy. So i tend to be depressed alot. plzzzzz help!!!! I also hate school!! ANY ADVICE!???

Answer 1

I felt the same way when I was your age. I was very deep and introverted, yet felt like I couldn't be me. I was told to just get over it and I don't think that's very good advice!
These deep feelings you have will eventually go away and you will find who you are and what you were meant to be. After nearly 4 years of feeling this way, I finally saw the light, and it was an amazing change. School is such a place full of negative people and stupid people that will try to bring you down. Try to find an activity that you like or something you can do that feels just fun! It's amazing how a little thing can make a person feel so much better!!
Write down how you feel and make it an art and way of expression for yourself. I have a journal that I wrote during my dark time and to look at it now is like WOW. Who was that girl?! I'm 26 now and have never been happier with my life and who I am, so it'll end for you eventually. Good luck and be glad that you aren't a shallow, hollow person.

Answer 2

Don't take this the wrong way, but reading your queston makes me feel sad for you. You are much too young for this confusion. You need a really really good Doctor not just one who refers you onto meds - but one who speaks and listens to you. This question doesn't say a lot about you and your family in terms of do you all eat healthy, are you all active, do you talk together, etc etc. If you are a good team and unit you will lean on each other and get through this and get you healthier ...and perhaps your parents healthier as well. I would love to reccommend a Doctor to you that has changed my life but don't want to on the web...don't give up on yourself. It is okay to listen to the inner voice, if you don't let it make you crazy. Often I call it the 6th sense...But I think it is telling you something isn't right. Look for answers, try and find a good Naturopath Registered Doctor or Medical Doctor (normally covered by insurance) that you can point blank ask if they prescribe drugs or if they prescribe healthy solutions for example Omega 3 or Magnesium or Niacinimide etc etc etc...try to find the one that gives you natural solutions, for those Doctors with open minds - there are some out there, they could really help you without putting toxins and adding more problems to your life. You may also find ww.antioxidants.mypharmanex.com to be an informative site. God Bless You and Good Luck...don't give up looking...hint hint Greenbank Rd has an amazing woman doctor.

Answer 3

I'm sorry to hear that . i am also stressed . i really hate school to. i guess the only piece of advise would be take your time and figure out who you are with out seeing famous people and other people around you to decide who you are decide who you are and then if you act or have a personality and all that stuff like a certain person then be like that person if you want . well I'm sure you don't care but i personally don't care what others think of me i dress the way i want and do things i like instid of what others like and the way they dress.. if you want any advise or need a Friend then just email me cause everyone needs a friend and as for school idk if there is any way to make it go by faster or anything i guess the only thing i can say is focus on your studies and really care less about anyone else . I'm sorry if i didn't help and i hope i did .. i really hope i helped a little if not I'm sorry ....

Answer 4

It is good that you know the temperaments, that will help you in life alot. What you are feeling is very normal and common for someone your age. Try to relax, you will be fine. Please just be yourself. If you see people who inspire you, then learn from them and imitate their best qualities. You will be a wonderful person then. You really can't be anyone but you. You're too young to have such anxiety --- things have a way of working out. Your parents termperaments are not causing your depression, mainly it's your age. And hormones. tomorrow will be better. Try to take your eyes off yourself, you'll be a better person for it.

Answer 5

Honey! You are only 13, you don't need to be making this decision at your age! That is why you go through high school and college, to experience different classes and people to see what interests you.

You NEVER compare yourself to others too. You are unique and you are not someone else. Stop comparing!

Go easy on yourself, relax and enjoy your school years, get involved in things that sound interesting so you have new experiences to see what you like and don't like.

Keep a journal about your likes and dislikes, this will help you to know yourself better and make decisions for the future.

I also suggest seeing a counselor to talk to so you can get this off your mind. They can give you tools to help you cope better with your life. But for now, please relax and value yourself for who you are, you are special and beautiful in God's eyes. I will pray for you.

Answer 6

See teens, shyness, stress, and depression treatments (print/refer your parents), at http://www.ezy-build.net.nz/~shaneris in sections 13, 9, 42, and 2, and volunteer even from home: see page 47. Practice daily, one of the relaxation methods on pages 2, 11, 2c, or 2i, and read page 2, and 2L, using those (reprogramming self talk) techniques, when you become aware that you are comparing yourself with others. Just be a good person, and help others occasionally/regularly: that's all you need.

Answer 7

You are at the age when everyone is trying to find out who they are, its natural. I know its not easy, but i also don't think that mimicking others characteristics is going to help you. I don't know if this will help, but there is a personality test you can take and it can tell you a lot of things about you. I found it very helpful.

http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/JTypes1.htm

You belong somewhere, i promise you, and you will find it. It just takes time. Don't be depressed, concentrate on the good not the bad.

Answer 8

I think everyone sort of goes through this stage around your age. I know I did... if you really truly want some help, go talk to a counselor. I know that sounds a little intimidating (I was drug there) But after I was drug there I really started to connect with my counselor and she helped me out with a lot of things. Just open yourself up and don't be afraid. Tell the counselor what's on your mind and how you feel and it really can help.

Answer 9

See where you can sign up for some volunteer work in your city. And show up on time to do the work as they will begin to count-on your arrival and appreciate your help. Helping others in need also helps the helper.

Although psychic pain hurts, it's normal. You are going to mature into a wonderful, thoughtful person -- I can tell.

Answer 10

i swear, i know exactly what you are going through.
be yourself, you'll find your personality on your own...don't waste your time on concentrating on that......

i am also seriously slow now in school....so don't fret, talk to the teachers, they love you, i know my teachers wub me......

your parents need to be talked too, but if you don't have the courage, well, eventually, you'll have to talk to them
i don't really think that you are depressed...just in a very gloomy mood very often, depression needs to be treated!

i stay online a lot, because of skoolwork and that's not a good thing to do, so go out once in awhile with your parents or friends to a movie or dinner/lunch....you'll be happy and your buds will be happy, happy happy happy HAPPY!


drawing smiley faces all the time and staying happy in school is a good idea, makes the day go faster
:):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):)
after skool activities? skool activities? volunteering?
good ideas as well

the only part that i dread about volunteering is the first day, then after that, things would get better, you'll love it.

that sums it up for me, GOOD LUCK!!!!