I am confused about people who throw other people parties yet ask for all the participants to pay for their?

Question

food and drinks. This has happened many times in the past to my husband and I really dont get it. Why would anyone require their guests to pay for the food and drink when they are GUESTS? I always thought if you host a party, you pay for everything, unless its specified that its a pot luck party and every one brings a dish to pass.
I feel this is in very poor taste to make people pay money to attend a party that YOU are giving. Am I wrong about this or is this a new trend that is acceptable?

From the answers I have gotten so far, I guess I need to clarify about what kind of parties these are- there adult parties, given to honor a person who is retiring from service in a school atmosphere. The husband still feels obligated to attend and also bring a gift for the honoree, as well as pay for the food and drink. The person hosting usually is a good friend or at least a close colleague of the honoree. Does that make a difference in the answers? (sorry I still do not understand why guests have to pay any money to attend this party- seems to me the host should pay for all expenses entailed if they are the person throwing the party!)

Answer 1

These people want the glory.......that they are the host, yet don't want to have to foot the bill. Anyone can throw such a party come to think of it....because it's easy to do so, no money involved,.......just getting gifts in the process. What a great deal for the "host" and what a poor deal for the guests.....the fools who attend such parties.

Answer 2

No, it's an immature trend that is creeping up the age line.
Underage drinkers who find a safe place for a keg party expect that the people they invite will be thrilled to chip in for the keg itself.
A nonprofit organization might have a fun party & make you give a flat fee to cover F&B + a profit for them. That's great.
But if a private citizen has a party & asks you to pay your own way, whether or not they claim it's to honor someone else, tell them you can't come.
If you know a bride who's being honored by this sort of slob, do her a favor and invite a very few people to a nice small lunch - no alcohol, inexpensive restaurant - which you pay for. This will make one occasion that her grandmother can be proud of.
In my opinion, the kind of party you're complaining about is no different from a reception with "cash bar." It means the people planning the party are all flash and no cash.

Answer 3

I've never gone to a party that I've been expected to pay for anything unless it's one where they have noted on the invite there will be an open bar. That is pretty standard. I've been invited to parties that are pot luck where everyone is asked to bring a specified dish but that is a specific type of party. When we or our friends throw a party it is expected to offer a bottle of wine as a gift but other than that whoever throws the party foots the bill. We trade off on whose house or restaurant but the inviter pays.

Answer 4

i wouldn't say they are throwing a party, more like a dinner.
They are not throwing a party for themself, but for someone else. And it costs a lot of money.
I could see your point if they were throwing a barbeque in their back yard for a big game, or a halloween party, ust for fun.
If you don't like it, YOU throw the party on behalf of the honoree, see how expensive it gets.

Answer 5

If you're hosting a party, it's completely tacky and rude to ask people to pay. Suggesting a pot luck, or a "get-together" at a local restaurant, is another thing - but not if you're considering yourself a "host."

Answer 6

I've never gone to one of these parties. I think that unless the ones throwing the party are teenagers or trying to raise money for a charity, its unacceptable. It seems pretty tacky.