advice please?

Question

ever since I got married to my hubby his mum and sister always seem to backchat about another girl who is part of their family, I heard from someone that she was meant to get an arranged marriage with my hubby but my hubby didnt want to etc. anyway now that I'm married to my hubby my MIL always wants me to look all pretty especially when I'm in front of that girl and her family, she is maried as well btw. We are meant to be going to a birthday party and she is supposedly going to be there with her husband, I want to go dressed simple and my MIL was like "its up to you but so and so(that girl) is going to come dressed all grand and you may feel awkward", I was thinking to myself so what if she comes dressed up grand, who is she to me? I dont understand why my MIL is so eager to make me look all dressed up in front of them, its as if shes using me to hurt them or something

Answer 1

I really feel sorry for you, but I would suggest that you discuss this with your husband and he should make a clear statement, in front of his mother and sister and ex, about how things are and if they can't accept that, they will have to live without you.

Answer 2

It sounds like you mil has control issues, and got upset because things didnt go as planned for her taste. People like her dont realize the heart controls love not some interference by others. You were brought into his life because he chose you over anyone else. He stood his ground and won your heart and hand in marriage.
You have absolutely nothing to prove to her. How you look is for you and your comfort. Dress like you feel best about yourself. Also you're really only wanting to capture your husband's eyes, and no one else. If she wants someone to outshine someone else she thinks would be able to embarrass you or your husband . Then it really her face she's afraid will get egged. I say let it. Let her fail and get embarrassed because you arent living up to her demands. If you give in now then she feels she's won as you'll do what ever she says .
This is your life, your marriage, and your wedding bed. Let no on else shoved your morals, and beliefs aside like trash. You're better than her when it comes to that . It sounds like this is a law in her family. But it stops right here with you.

I went through some major grilling and harsh attitudes form my fil, and sil but I refused to allow them to rip my love apart because they though my husband deserved better, Their opinion of me was based on my health, and not my heart or his. They though I wouldnt have kids, or be able to handle them if I did. I proved them wrong in many ways. I'm still with my husband, it's been 21 years n make it to 5. All but one got divorced. They tried to tell us both it wouldnt 21 days , then when it did they said 21 weeks, then it was 21 months , then they had to stop all their S*** because I poved them all wrong about me in ever way they said I couldnt or wouldnt.
So hold strong, You'll do well I'm sure, as this coming here to us proves you have something uniquely different and strong in you. Good Luck and God Bless

Answer 3

Sound like you're being drawn into the aftermath
of a family crisis that happened before you ever
came on the scene.
Just ask the M.I.L. why you should give a fig
one way or the other.
The answer might be entertaining.

Answer 4

Dress how you feel comfortable and what is appropriate to the situation. When MIL starts comparing, just say, "Yes - she looks nice." and change the subject. Don't let MIL start jealousy where there is none.