well i have an EXTREMELY bad jealousy problem, and i am very insecure. I ruined my past relationship because of it. I would get angry and jealous over the stupidest things. I would get so jealous and angry if my girlfriend even looked at a guy a certain way. I would always be suspicious and always coming up with scenarios of what she is doing...like getting gang banged or whatever. the most ridiculous things would pop in my head. i would break up with her every other day and she would always cry and beg like you wouldnt believe for me to stay with her. No matter how sincere she was or convincing. it never was enough. the thoughts would always come of her doing something with another guy or just something agianst me. For example, If she didnt text me back right away when i knew she was home (if i wasnt doubting she was really home) I would think she was talking to some guy flirting with him or with another guy. she never cheated on me or anything. anybody else have or had this problem?
2007-10-31 10:00:05 · 7 answers · asked by Jon 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
That's a very serious problem, and you're going to have trouble in all your relationships if you don't figure out a way to fix this.
I know that I start thinking irrational things if I'm tired, even if I know them to be untrue. I actually frightened my boyfriend because I trust him completely and he knows it, and a very irrational thought popped out of my mouth and he became very concerned.
Pretty much everyone has been hurt in a relationship at one time or another. While we are the sum of our experiences, we can't accuse a new partner of "crimes" committed by an old one. Everyone is different. You need to give your current partner the benefit of the doubt, and trust them until you're given a reason not to.
Jealousy stems from lack of trust or insecurity. If you don't trust your partner, don't be with them. If you're that insecure, you need to work on your self-esteem until you believe in your own worth; you can't love another until you can love yourself.
2007-10-31 10:06:43 · answer #1 · answered by xK 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Until you fix this, all your relationships will follow this pattern.
Reading material to consider:
How to Raise Your Self-Esteem, Nathaniel Brandon
The Aladdin Factor, Jack Canfield & Mark Victor Hansen
The Magic of Thinking Big, David J. Schwartz
If This Is Love Why Do I Feel So Insecure? by Carl G. Hindy
Jealousy, Taming the Green-Eyed Monster by Eugene Schoenfeld
Overcoming Jealousy and Possessiveness by Paul A. Hauck
2007-10-31 17:10:22 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I used to think like that when I was dating one of my previous girlfriends. I (We) always spent every single minute that we could together. There wasn't any space and the thought of her being with someone else or flirting really hurted. There are ups and downs in relationships and once you end up losing someone that you truly love over stupid stuff like jealousy, you eventually learn to grow up and not be bothered by it as much or even at all. Instead of lashing out at her, just calmly talk with her.
2007-10-31 17:08:11 · answer #3 · answered by spyder 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is obvious that you are tremendously insecure. If you truly wish to stop poisoning relationships for the foreseeable future, seek counseling immediately in order to figure out where these negative feelings and tendencies come from in your life.
2007-10-31 17:07:38 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
OOOHH...DUDE.. very serious problem. u need to talk with ur gf. tell her hw u feel, and tell her ur problem. u can even talk with professionals. my gf is having da same problem, its very sad for both sides. so next time if ue thinking dat ur gf is flirting with somone else, try to tell urself dat she is not doing such a thing. its a mind game. it depends on hw u control ur thinking process, just trust her once and c if the things r going right, if they r going right, then continue in dat way. take lil steps to resolve ur problem. jelousy is a sign of healthy relationship, but if it is overdone its gonna hurt. so just controll urself...GOOD LUCK.
2007-10-31 17:26:04 · answer #5 · answered by >HERO< 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my boyfriend is like this sometimes too. hes scared that i would be cheating on him. he doesnt like me talking to other guys or talking online cause he thinks i'm gonna do something with them...just talk to the girl and tell her how u feel. that u have a jealousy problem and ur working on it.
2007-10-31 17:09:10 · answer #6 · answered by Kayla K 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i have had that problem. you just need to work on controlling that and you will eventually get over being that way.
2007-10-31 17:12:41 · answer #7 · answered by epbjr_81 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋