Who has the best blonde joke?

Question

Best joke gets 10 points but:

1. Must not be a one-two liner joke
2. Must be a blonde joke
3. Must be funny!

The first 3 jokes all didn't meet ANY of the rules.

Besides the blonde part but still...

Answer 1

i have two

first one
a dumb blonde was riding a horse. She was barly on, she was slipping, grapping the horses rear end for her life! she wouldv'e thought she was a goner, exept she didnt think but anyways. The dumb blonde was ready to slip,until the target manager said "Excuse me ma'm this ride is for the children!

second one
A brunette is walking in the country and finds a lamp.
she rubs the lamp and finds a genie,the genie says.
"you are granted 3 wishes, but be warned whatever you wish for EVERY blonde girl or woman in the world gets 2.
the brunette says " I wish for a nice house"
"Okay, you get one every blond gets 2"
"i want a gourgase man"
"You get one..you know the rest"
the brunette says"Okay genie for my final wish,see that stick over there, i want you to beat me half to death with it!

Answer 2

A bond walks into a store and asks for help getting a TV down from the top shelf. The salesman says, "sorry, we don't serve blonds here." Angry, the blond walks away. She decides to dye her hair black and try again the next day. So she walks back up to the man and asks for the TV again. "Sorry." he says, "we don't srve blonds here." Really upset now, she dyes her hair red, puts on sunglasses and a scarf, and goes back to the store. She again asks for the tv and the saleman again refuses to serve blonds. Now she is more curious than upset so she says, "I've dyed my hair, created a disquise, and still you say you wont sell me that tv because I am blond...How did you know I was blond?"
"well," said the saleman, "that's not a tv, it's a microwave"

Answer 3

Make it off the island
There were three people stranded on an island, a brunette, a redhead, and a blonde. The brunette looked over the water to the mainland and estimated about 20 miles to shore. So she announced, "I'm going to try to swim to shore." So she swam out five miles, and got really tired. She swam out ten miles from the island, and she was too tired to go on, so she drowned.

The second one, the redhead, said to herself, "I wonder if she made it. I guess it's better to try to get to the mainland than stay here and starve." So she attempts to swim out. The redhead had a lot more endurance than the brunette, as she swam out 10 miles before she even got tired. After 15 miles, she was too tired to go on, so she drowned.

So the blonde thought to herself, "I wonder if they made it! I think I'd better try to make it, too." So she swam out 5 miles, ten miles, fifteen miles, and finally nineteen miles from the island. The shore was just in sight, but she said, "I'm too tired to go on!" So she swam back.

Answer 4

A red head, a brunette and a blond were traveling together when their car was met head on. All of them died. So the 3 of them go up to the pearly gates and St Peter is sitting there. He tells them that they must climb the stairway to heaven to be accepted, but there is one stipulation. At each step, you will hear a different joke. The object is to no laugh or you will be immediately sent to hell. The red head goes up 5 steps and breaks out laughing. Zap, she is sent to hell. The brunette goes up 9 steps and she breaks out laughing. Zap, she is sent to hell. The blonde makes it all the way to the last step and breaks out laughing. Curious, St Peter asks her, "How could you make it so far only to laugh at the very last step". The blond replies, " I just got the first joke".

Answer 5

there were two sisters way back in the late19th century one blonde and one brunette. the brunette went off on a train to buy a bull so they could breed them. when she got there she realized the price was 199 dollars which only left her 1 dollar out of the two hundred she brought. she couldn't afford a train ticket back so she was gonna send a telegraph to her sister. she wanted the message to say "got the bull but out of money need you to come get me" the worker said that would be 5 dollars. she replied she only had one dollar and asked what she could get for that. the worker said one word. ok the brunette replied have it say "comfortable." the worker got a strange look on his face and said i just don't understand how that will do. the brunette replied my sister is blonde and reads slow "com for ta bull!"

Answer 6

Ok so a blonde walks out her back door to go to work. She looks over the fence and saw her blonde neighbor in her back yard in a row boat rowing. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING," she said. "It blondes like you that make blondes like me look stupid." "And if I knew how to swim I would swim right over and punch you."

Answer 7

A blonde walks down to the river and she sees another blonde on the oppostite side. She hollers to her "How do you get to the other side?!!.."
The other blonde looks to her left, looks to her right, looks to her left again and hollers back..."You are on the other side!!"

Answer 8

Shiny Object

A blonde goes into a store and sees a shiny object. She asks the clerk, "What is that shiny object?"
The clerk replies, "That is a thermos."
The blonde then asks, "What does it do?"
The clerk responds, "It keeps hot things hot and it keeps cold things cold."
The blonde says, "I'll take it!"
The next day, she walks into work with her new thermos. Her blonde boss sees her and asks, "What is that shiny object you have?"
She said, "It's a thermos."
The boss then says, "What does it do?"
She replies, "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold."
The boss said, "Wow, what do you have in it?"
The blonde replies, "Two cups of coffee and a Popsicle."

Answer 9

Blonde guy comes home early from work one day. Walks up to the bedroom only to catche his brother in bed with his wife. He says hi and they both jump up and his brother jumps out the window, and unforntuantely lands painfully on the concrete patio below. The guy's wife is running around the bedroom and he says, "What are you doing running around in circles naked for, when my brother just jumped out the window? Put some clothes on and call an ambulance."

Answer 10

what do you call a smart blonde? golden retriever

why did the blonde stare at the bottle of orange juice for so long? cuz it said concentrate.