Realtionship Space. Explanation please!!!?

Question

Me and my girlfriend have been together for 2 months now. In the beginning when we met we both agreed that we found our soul mates, true love and the one we would marry. For the past 10 days she has become distant all of a su. Intially she told me just to give her a little space.(Not cheating) She just claimed to just want some alone time with herself to preserve her identity as a independant women. Last night we spoke and she is now telling me she does not know what is wrong with her and it is bothering her that I am hurting cause of her recent behavior. She stated that she feels resentful in a way becaue i may have smnothered her. She continusoulsy states that she is not breaking up with me or plans to and loves me.. She has started a new birthcontrol (ortho trcycline). I feel it may be that, because 10 days of her taking it this all began. Basically i am looking for some help as to understanding why she has pulled away when everything was great. Any advice would be great. Thank

Answer 1

could b the pills...but honestly you need to sit down with her and talk to her...ask her why she is being like this... i get like that at times with my fiance...its hard to explain why we do it...mostly its hormones messing with our emotions...and it takes time to get over... just be there for her...and let her know you will be there when she is ready to talk...let her know how much you care and dont wanna lose her...but dont smother her. thats the wrong thing to do when shes like that. just b caring and loving...

good luck

Answer 2

She should not be pulling away two months into the relationship. That's a bad sign. It seems more like she was infatuated with you in the beginning (I love you, you're my soul mate, we'll be together forever) and is realizing that it was not true love that she felt.

I would tell her that you want to be with her, but you won't have a "break" because a break means you're not together. She should not be pulling away to assert her independence - that's what being single is for. And I don't think she's cheating on you either; I think she just isn't interested in pursuing this relationship right now. It's time to break it off. If it really is the birth control pill (which I doubt, because many women are on birth control pills and don't go through this), she should get it switched right away; otherwise, tell her you can't be with her until she's ready to devote herself to you full time, no breaks.

Answer 3

It might be that the new chemicals she's taking into her body are messing with her emotional state. That can happen.

But I also think that it would be worth your while to take a cool, calm look at things and see whether she may have a point to make. The early days of any relationship are all-consuming - you two have still only been together for eight weeks. For the first few weeks people tend to put off friends and family commitments, hobbies, sometimes even work stuff, and focus only on the new relationship.

After a while, the rest of life reasserts its importance. Our lives need balance. However important one person or one area may be, there comes a point where we have to pay some attention to other things. That's healthy and normal. It's not a threat to any relationship.

So why does your girlfriend see it that way?

An adult woman doesn't normally blame someone else for "smothering' her, or think that her behaving like an independent person would hurt someone who loves her. Those are big emotional statements. Maybe she's overreacting to the feeling that she's let her life get out of balance by focussing so strongly on her new love for you. Has she let some of her friendships slide, skipped school, not followed up hobbies?

Why not stop thinking of her pulling away from you, and try to understand what else might be going on for her? Sit down with her, quietly and calmly, and tell her that you fell in love with a beautiful, independent woman with a life of her own. Tell her that you want to love and support that woman in any way you can. Tell her you're proud and happy that she has so many things going on in her life, and that you'd like to work out a way that the two of you can support each other to be the best person you can be in every single aspect of your lives - work, family, friendships, commitments and hobbies.

That might mean that you agree to some time for each of you to do activities you don't share. I bet your male friends miss just hanging out together, watching movies or games, and her girlfriends probably do stuff together that would bore you. Or you may be committed to churches, social groups and so on, that you don't necessarily do together. The main thing is that you want to support each other in having full and joyous lives.

Sometimes that's going to involve being apart. Tell her there's no need for guilt about that - as long as you stay honest and loving with each other, time apart will only strengthen your love. Sometimes it might involve each of you trying out new things to see if you can share them.

The important thing is to acknowledge that your love isn't a chain or a prison, it's the most powerful liberating force in your lives. You can each grow as people through acknowledging that your love and respect for the other person means that you want the best for them, and you want them to be the best they can be.

I wish you both happiness.

Answer 4

It is very possible that the birth control is causing the behavior as they mess with the hormones. On the other hand, she may just be maturing to realize that this relationship is not all it was cracked up to be. After all neither of you have enough respect for each other to wait until you are married to engage in sexual activity.

Answer 5

talk to her about her new birthcontrol im sure she will understand and she should call her dr and find out if this could cause it even go online and look up the birth control to see what you can find. It might be just a reaction. Also she may be afraid to let someone get close to her i do this sometimes and i tend to push people away when i get scared

Answer 6

It may be the medicine, or something else. You've only been together 2 months, maybe she's still trying to figure out the real you. She probably just wants a little space for a short time. Let her have her space, and she'll come back when she feels comfortable.

Answer 7

it could be the pill this has a depressing effect on some girls. So she may need to change it to another one. BUT it could also be that you may have spent too much time together and she feels that needs some time on her own to think things through. Dont hassle her and let her have some time to think and them text her in a day or so asking if she is ok?

Answer 8

That actually sounds really similar to a problem i had. i started BC about 2 months ago again and when i started taking it again i got really moody and annoyed w/my bf because we spend so much time together as well. BC really does a number on women because it plays with our hormones and estrogen levels. Just give her a little space, and she should be fine. Expect her to be a little more moody than usual though.

Answer 9

Some people Love's just like a new car, when they first get it they love it they even check up on it at nite .but when it start getting old they kind of don't really care anymore. real love is forever not for sometime. if she can realise we go too fast and she try to slow it down ,something is up. may be a ex-boyfriend,parents,friends or not feeling u the same way anymore. but she definitly up to something

Answer 10

You have every right to be concern. Go talk to her and find out for sure if that is the cause. Let her know about this pretty soon. Birth control can affect people in many different ways. Go talk to her.

Answer 11

I stopped reading after the part where you claimed to be soul mates less than 2 months in......You guys need a reality check.