My husband's brother got married last week. Since we were both in the party, we needed someone to drive our daughter to the babysitter. My mother-in-law insisted. Normally a 10 minute drive, we called her cellphone after an hour went by. No answer. Another 1/2 hr later, she gets to the wedding (late) misses introductions, delays the mother/son dance, completely emotionless and acts like nothing happened. I asked where she was and she said she got lost, I asked why she didn't answer, she didn't hear the phone. THAT's IT! This just isn't good enough for me. It happened when she picked her up later that night too. She left the wedding over an hour ahead of us, and somehow we got home before she did. I ask and she rolls her eyes and goes to bed. Do I have any right to demand knowing where she took my daughter? Do you think I shouldn't trust her again? My husband and I disagree on that. I need to know im not crazy. Thanks
2007-10-31 09:27:24 · 17 answers · asked by kad 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Oh and it's the first time anyone besides us drove her anywhere, she's only 4 months old.
2007-10-31 09:28:46 · update #1
I understand your concern and I feel that since she has your daughter with her, then you should have the right to know where she's been during their time together ONLY. As a Parent myself, I feel that anything that involves my Child, immediately involves me too. If you feel uncomfortable about not knowning your Mother-in-Law's whereabouts, then I suggest that you not let your Baby go with her. (easier said than done, I know) But, that's the only resolution, especially if she doesn't want to tell you where she's been. Relax, your not crazy, your just a concerned Parent. -Always continue it!!! Remember, you're their first line of defense!!!
2007-10-31 09:41:44 · answer #1 · answered by Yahoo Anwers 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OF COURSE you have every right to know EXACTLY where your child is. YOU ARE THE PARENT!
Although your MIL's story could be seen as plausible, I seriously doubt that taking an hour and a half to cover what would normally take a 20min round trip would be very likely unless she was up to something she doesn't want to admit to.
I am afraid that your husband needs to take stock of who he's siding with here. Sure it's his mom, but she's either the biggest ditz in the world, or she's into alcohol, drugs, or some other serious distraction. Even if her intentions ARE honerable, how can you trust a helpless child to someone who gets lost both comming AND going, plus she doesn't utilize her resources very well. I mean if she really WAS lost, then why didn't she get on her cellphone and ask for help? If you believe her story then she kept it burried in her purse where she couldn't hear it.
No HON, you aren't crazy!
I think supervised visits with Grandma are in order for the next little while. (or maybe a long while)
2007-10-31 09:50:57 · answer #2 · answered by No More 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok, don't trust her again. Calmly explain to your husband that you'd prefer if somebody else drove your daughter places from now on. Or, instead of making a big commotion, ask the babysitter if she can take your daughter earlier next time. Don't freak out. It's not a big deal, okay?
2007-10-31 09:35:40 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
depends on the stability and normalcy of your mother in law. My MIL has lived around this city for over 10 years and she still gets lost everywhere she goes. She used to get into accidents all the time so of course I didn't trust her. But it's been a while since she's had an accident so it's better.
2007-10-31 09:34:56 · answer #4 · answered by jmiller 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course any mother would be worried.
But I was just wondering if you ever allow her any special time with her granddaughter. Just the two of them. Grandmothers, especially the mother-in-laws, can feel like they have a mother hawk watching over them by their daughter-in-law. All the grandmothers want to do is spend time with their grandchildren in a relaxed atmosphere.
If not maybe she took this time to spend some quality one on one time with her. But she could of told you that too.
2007-10-31 14:00:05 · answer #5 · answered by proud grandma 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't let her take your daughter anywhere else until you've gotten a satisfactory answer from her. If your mother instincts are tingling, listen to them. Your husband may not want to confront his mom or be willing to admit something could be wrong, but he probably won't say anything if you just keep your daughter with you from here on out.
2007-10-31 09:33:21 · answer #6 · answered by Rebeckah 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you have every right to be concerned, your daughter is only 4 months. i understand that you were extremely worried and bothered by not knowing where your child was. tell your mother in law you want to know every place she goes with your daughter and to make sure she can hear her phone when you're calling. you are NOT crazy.
2007-10-31 09:33:27 · answer #7 · answered by firefly 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have EVERY right to know where your daughter is. Your first priority is the safety and well being of your daughter. If your mother in law is refusing to answer your questions, I'd be very suspicious and I would not let her have my child unsupervised again.
2007-10-31 09:32:05 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No she can't just take off with your daughter...your definitely not crazy...its you right as the parent to know where you child is at all times...you should definitely find out where she was and then make her earn back your trust
2007-10-31 09:32:02 · answer #9 · answered by nobody035 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If her answer didn't make any sense and you didn't believe her, then I would not allow her to take my child any where else again.
As far as her being late or disappearing any other time, she is an adult and it is her business and she doesn't have to explain herself to you.
As far as being late to the wedding and making people wait etc.., that is between your brother in law and her, since it was his wedding.
2007-10-31 09:33:36 · answer #10 · answered by wondermom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋