Would you keep the centerpieces...?

Question

Yesterday I asked if it was wrong of me to request my money back after being kicked out of a wedding party. (BTW, thanks for all the answers) Is it okay for me to refuse to hand over all the centerpieces and bouquets that were made...(they are still at my house becuase thats where we made them) Well the bride called me today to ask if she could come get the centerpieces & whatnot. I told her I was out of town until Fri. afternoon, but I would bring them first thing Sat. morning.(thats when they will be decorating the reception hall) Well Im not out of town I just don't want to give this stuff to her because of what she did. (she kicked me out of the wedding 2 days after the shower, & told me I was uninvited. Lame exuse about a groomsman dropping out. I asked her if she was going to reimberse me for my expenses (around $1100) & she laughed & said "NO" Well I know that no else did the decorations so it will look pretty blah, without all the stuff. Is it rude of me to keep the stuff?

I look at it as an unpaid item...she doesn't want to reimburse me for everything that I bought & did so she's not getting her stuff. Why would she even think I would give it to her after what she did? Ugh...She makes me so mad.

Her weddings not going to be "picture perfect" now. By the time she realizes I'm not bringing the decorations, there wont be time to go get any...Its going to be out in the middle of no where basically, the closest store is about 2 hours away, besides a grocery store.

I can sell these items to compensate for my loses. I make centerpieces and bouquets for weddings and quincenerras all the time...Thats what I do.

For all those that didn't read the question yesterday...I paid for ALL the flowers and materials to make everything NOT her.

Answer 1

Being asked to be in a wedding party is a verbal contract. If you were the one to drop out she could legally sue you for the costs (yours and the new bridesmaids) so I don't see why it can't work the other way.

She is not your friend

Keep the centre pieces, but tell her before the wedding date.
Get your reciepts out, tally up the total and if this is your business charge her your RRP rather than just materials. Unfortunately if you are keeping the dress you can't get a refund on that (you can sell it though), if she keeps it you can.
Tell her that you will not give the centrpieces to her unless she compensates you financially and you are under no obligation to give them to her without payment. You agreed to make them under the inpression that you would be reimbursed so you want cash in hand BEFORE you give her the decorations.

Stick to your guns and don't let her get the better of you.
Obviously the friendship is already ruined so what does it matter if she thinks you are being a *****. She was the ***** first.

Answer 2

This sounded somewhat....mean....to me at first, but the more I think about it, the more I think you *should* keep the centerpieces.

The reason she kicked you out of the bridal party is lame. The fact that you're now no longer invited...that's insulting!! She definitely owes you the money back. Since she refuses to pay it, then I think you would be right in keeping the centerpieces and stuff.

I would tell her earlier than Saturday morning though, that is kind of catty. You're basically setting her up for failure and to look stupid in front of people. Plus, *you'll* come across like a major ***** to people. I'd call her sooner than that and explain that you're using the centerpieces and such as reimbursement, and to pay for all the expenses that have accumulated during her wedding.

Good luck :)

Answer 3

Hmm this is a sticky situation. YOu could keep them and get your money back on ebay or whatnot. Or you could be the bigger person and just give her the centerpieces so she stops whining about it. From the way you have described her she sounds like she will not stop pitching a fit until she gets her way. But if you want to treat this as a business transaction then yes you have every right to keep the items in question that have not been paid for. It really all depends on how you want to go about this.

You can give her back the items and have no further contact since she obvisouly is not a "friend" at all.

Or you can consider this a business transaction and keep the items that you have put time and labor into which you have not been compenstated for.

Good luck with your decision!

Answer 4

ugh... I understand how you feel.

Were you uninvited from the wedding COMPLETELY? Are you no longer friends at all?

I think you should be reimbursed, unless you did something awful, like tried to seduce the groom. But that seems to be a dead issue.

You could tell her that you will release the decorations when you are compensated for your expenses since you were dismissed wihtout cause. Put them someplace where she can't just show up and grab them.

Let her know how hurt you are that you were completely dismissed and that you did not give of your time and money to help her just to be used and tossed aside and that you have no further obligation to her, including making sure she has those decorations.

If she would like your services, she needs to pay up.

I know it seems mean and spiteful, but how can she expect to treat you like garbage (laughing at your request to be reimbursed for expenses incurred for HER wedding) and then expect you to help her out?

ADDED:

If you think she is the type that *could* try to sue you after the fact... then do this...

... make sure you have ALL of your receipts for everything you spent.

Then give her the decorations.

...after the wedding, sue her for the expenses. Then you are completely in the right having given her everything and taken nothing.

EDIT #2 -

Now I see that you PAID for it all... I am inclined to tell you to tell her that you will be happy to bring them on Saturday morning after she pays you $1100 for your time and expenses. (Add a few bucks, if you think it is fair).

Now she wants decorations for FREE from you???!! NO WAY!

Answer 5

Wow, I can see why you'd want to not give them to her because she's being a total b*tch. However everyone is right, if you don't give them back then everyone is going to blame you and if this is what you do for a living that will hurt your future business. Save the receipts, take pictures of the items, save all correspondence with her, do you have any emails from her regarding you being removed from the wedding? Sue her after the wedding. Just be the bigger person at least until after her wedding. Or maybe you could tell her she can use them but they must be returned after the wedding then you can sell them to get your money back? If you do that, get her response in writing.

Answer 6

I didn't read your question yesterday and you don't seem to want people to see your past posts. I do feel if you paid for these items, you should be reimbursed. BUT....
Keep in mind that if you refuse to give her the centerpieces, everyone at that wedding is going to blame you, not her. You won't be there to give your side of the story either. You said you do this all the time, is this a business? Do you sell them? Are you willing to risk that type of bad publicity? When I was planning my wedding, all it took was one horror story to make me shop elsewhere. A bride doesn't want to take the chance of a repeat!

Answer 7

I understand you are hurt for being kicked out, and probably do not want to be friends with her, and that's fine. Please be the bigger person and give her the items. You will come out smelling like a rose this way, rather than as a witch with a capital B who is trying to ruin some poor girl's wedding.

I assume you have no need for a bunch of silly wedding decorations. Give her the stuff back, tell her to never contact you again, and be done with it. Some women just turn into monsters when they are getting married.

Hopefully eventually she'll realize her mistake after the dust has settled and will offer you money back. Then you can take it, and show her the door.

Answer 8

Absolutly keep them if she will not reimburse you. I agree with other posters you can probably sell them and make some money.

It's not rude at all, you made them with the expectation that you would be participating in the wedding since you are no longer participating she must not need your efforts with the centerpieces. I would tall her to pay up or forget about the decorations!!

Answer 9

I think that what she did was pretty rude on her part. Well if you purchase all the items YOURSELF, and made them YOURSELF...I say you should keep them for YOURSELF. I assume this was going to be your wedding gift to her, there is no law that says you have to give them to her. And I really doubt that she can take you to court, they weren't hers, they were yours that you were intending on giving to her for being a bridesmaid. I would suggest telling her on Thursday or Friday though so she has time for an alternative...(I bet it won't be as great as the ones you've made, especially if there is little funding available)
This way you don't come across as a total B*%ch.
As for the bridesmaid dress and what not, try to sell as much as you can on ebay or craigslist. It will help with some of the expenses you incured for you very rude, selfish, UNGRATEFUL so called friend.

Answer 10

Did you pay for all the supplies to make the decorations? Did you make them all yourself? I think if they were something you did completely on your own and paid for yourself, you should sell them to get some of your money back. I presume the $1100 you're out is for bridesmaid dress, bridal shower, etc.? If so, she should pay you back - she basically used you to get a shower and some gifts, and then dumped you when she got what she wanted out of you.

Edit: I agree with kiki - don't wait until Saturday to tell her you're keeping the stuff. That's unnecessarily mean.

2nd Edit: If she (or anyone other than you) paid for the supplies to make these decorations, though, you should probably give them back - you could get in trouble legally if you try to keep or sell them.