How soon after you get into a relationship is "too soon" to have sex? I was seeing this guy for about 1.5 months before he asked me to be his girlfriend. I'm 22 and he's 25. We have made out but that's as far as I let it go... I would like to sleep with him but I also want him to continue to respect me and I don't want our relationship to turn purely sexual. How can I ensure this? And how long should I wait to have TOTAL respect from my man? I don't want to make so many mistakes in this relationship! Thanks!
2007-10-31 08:45:10 · 29 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Sounds like it can be time to kick it up a notch
You only lose respect putting out on the first couple of dates, after that, it becomes a love and trust issue
2007-10-31 08:48:06 · answer #1 · answered by idtshadow 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Every person and every relationship is different; there is no set time period in regards to sex. Some people may "expect" it after a certain length of time, but there are many factors involved when determining whether or not your relationship is ready for this type of commitment. Only you can answer that question. No one can tell you how long you should wait to have total respect from your man -- you know him, we don't. You have to trust your gut because your heart might lie, along with other parts of your body. Maybe you'll just "know" one day -- don't give yourself the pressure of a time limit.
2007-10-31 08:52:58 · answer #2 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is a tough question. I guess if I were in your situation, I would want to know EVERYTHING there is to know about this person (even medically, because with sex you can never be too safe) before I took it to that level. Plus, you should have total respect from your man, NOW. Sex shouldn't change that. He should respect you if you want it, and respect you if you're not ready. I guess I would just say that if there is any doubt in your mind at all, you're probably not ready. Hope this helps.
2007-10-31 09:00:37 · answer #3 · answered by regina falange 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I thought having sex early in a realationship was bad until I met my fiance. We had sex a couple of days after we started dating. She is a great individual and I respect her as a person so having sex early in our relationship didn't change the fact that she is a great person and an individual I have come to love and adore. We have now been together for nearly 8 years and we have a 6 year old son. I think it depends on the guy, does he value you as an individual if so then you shouldn't have to hold out to have him gain that respect.
2007-10-31 08:52:42 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's a toughie. I just this very minute asked what happens when people your age move in together for the sake of sleeping together all the time and whether those relationships last very long. I'm guessing that the traditional long courtship has the best chance for a lasting relationship. It seems in my experience that the longer the relationship has taken to develop, the more enduring it is. I think you already knew that, didn't you?
2007-10-31 08:53:35 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think 2 or 3 months is an adequate amount of time. But that is just me. If he dates you for 3months w/o sex, then he is not ONLY after the sex. But once you do have sex, most relationships do become very sexual for awhile. Because it is wonderful to have an intimate relationship with someone you care so much about. Good luck.
2007-10-31 08:51:03 · answer #6 · answered by misbotta 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I VERY much agree with crazy8eddie. I also believe there is something to be said for waiting until marriage. I did not wait, but 9 years after losing my virginity I decided to stop until I get married.
With that being said, you have to chose what is best for you. Just remember you can't go back once you've had sex. Once it's done it's done. Find other ways to build intimacy until you're ready to make the decision.
2007-10-31 09:02:33 · answer #7 · answered by amy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sex needs to be taken on a case by case basis, with your feelings being the deciding factor. I've slept with a girl on the 2nd date (without he being my girlfriend yet) and other time, I have waited months. It just depends on how your relationship is developing. I didn't think less of the girl who put out right away because that is how is relationship unfolded. We hit it off and we were very attracted to each other it ended up happening. However, the girl I waited months for, I would have though less of her because we weren't ready yet. I wanted to because she was really hot but we weren't there.
If the girl withheld sex just because she thought it as too soon even though we were ready, I'd think less of her because that shows much she cares about other people's opinions (instead of listening to herself), she worried too much, and wasn't able to go with the flow. Those kinds of girls are too high maintenance because they are waiting for the right moment, instead of taking advantage of the right moment.
2007-10-31 08:52:27 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is a case by case basis. I do not disrespect a woman because we had sex. Other men will wait months and months just to sleep with a woman. He never intends on "respecting" her.
If you want TOTAL respect from a man then be a good woman. It has nothing to do with when you start a sexual relationship.
2007-10-31 08:48:58 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
The answer depends on your and his personal beliefs.
Is he pressuring you for sex?
Can you tell if he has been intimate in prior relationships?
By now he should already respect you as a person or he should not be continuing to date you.
Respect from him will come if you respect yourself. Do whatever you believe is right.
2007-10-31 08:50:55 · answer #10 · answered by m15 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋