We where together for almost 4 years. I thought that I wanted to be apart, now 4 months later I so deeply regret what I did and I don't know how to fix it. She says that she still loves me but that she is just too angry with me right now to even date me. I am desperate to get her back. What can I do?
2007-10-31 08:37:15 · 27 answers · asked by luvmyflipflops 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
First, stop being such an idiot. HINT: this will help you in the rest of your life, too.
Then give up that idiotic Mary Poppins lie that everyone will live happily ever after, and always get what they want. You will not always get what you want because you don't even KNOW what it is you want.
People will come and go in your life; you have no right to demand that anyone put up with you, forever, against their will.
People will not do exactly what you expect or demand. They will lie, cheat, steal, rip you off. and do incredibly irrational things that even THEY DO NOT understand.
You: > ... together for almost 4 years. I thought that I wanted to be apart, now 4 months later I ...
This is called immaturity and instability, you simply do not know what you are doing. So, it may be time to begin to start thinking rationally abut the purpose of your relationships, if any. Close to 50% of marriages end in divorce, so one can NOT look to "society" for any help or meaningful advice.
You: > I am desperate to get her back.
Two problems with this one. Negative emotions are not healthy and are self-destructive to the creator of them. They release toxic chemicals into the blood stream: HINT: NOT GOOD!!. Stop generating them, ALL of them, permanently. Do NOT follow the dying civilization you are embedded in by blindly imitating their collective self-destructive habit patterns. This will require a major reeducation effort and intense deconditioning process on your part, and considerable time. But, it's the only game in town.
"... get her back." reveals that you have been conditioned by that self-destructive society, remember, to think of people as -objects- to "get", to "have", to "possess", to own. That is an insult to our humanity and potential. And, holding that view towards a partner demeans him/her, and limits him/her from attaining his/her potential. Possessive relationships are clearly pathological.
Most "relationships" are formed for incredibly superficial reasons, probably more like excuses.
1> convenient sex
2> economic parasitism
3> power/control/ego trips
4> interlocking neuroses
5> liking the same (sports, music, drugs (especially alcohol and nicotine))
6> same religious cult
7> same profession, hobbies, or interests
With foundations so meaningless, how could any such relationships possibly endure? They can't, and they don't!!
The solution to this universal problem is conveniently simple.
First, recognize that the human being is a multi-dimensional being, existing in several domains, simultaneously: physical, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual.
Then, form relationships with the expressed, intensely discussed, and agreed upon, purpose of helping each other grow and develop in all these domains, simultaneously and mutually-cooperatively. Stop wasting your life on go-nowhere superficiality.
Two fundamental agreements should be formed:
1> always tell the Truth, and
2> meet me half-way; that means treating each other as equals.
If one then sees other people only as teachers who come and go in one's life at the right time, then one is always happy: learning, expanding, growing, and moving toward their potential.
Laurie
--
Scientifically-credible info on human diet:
http://ecologos.org/ttdd.html
news:alt.food.vegan.science
2007-10-31 10:24:19 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If she says she still loves you then that's a start. I agree that if you push too hard you will drive her away. If you do try to talk to her make sure it's face to face. Let her know how you feel and be genuine. After you tell her, leave her alone, if it is meant to be, it will happen and you will get what you want. If not at least you tried. I hope you are not having these feeling because you saw her with someone else and now know you messed up because she looks happy. Good luck....
2007-10-31 08:44:06 · answer #2 · answered by Dah veed 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ah, I was in a similar situation once, and I was the one dumped! I would say be her friend. If you enjoy her time, a title "boyfriend" shouldn't matter. Call her, but don't call constantly. Don't leave voicemails. Make it known how you feel, but don't push! Be around, but not in her face. She will come around. I did. If she doesn't, why would you want someone that doesn't want you? Also make sure that you want to be WITH her before you pursue her so adamantly. Make sure it's not only becuase she is playing hard to getb ecuase if it is, the same thing will happen again.
2007-10-31 08:45:30 · answer #3 · answered by jennalynn_11 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So you messed up her life for 4 months but now
You want "instant' back when YOU want ?
Typical snot nosed spoiled brat attitude . . .
You have way toooo much growing up to do .
You have outed yourself as a fickle flake .
It will take at least 8 months to repair the damage and still ,
You may not be trust-able again . . .
Guess it depends if you are still a whiny baby now
Or if you can grow up .
>
2007-10-31 08:43:53 · answer #4 · answered by kate 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ooohhh...ur having a very bad time...i can understand.
it happens when ur in long relationship. u hav made a mistake, and its good dat u want to make da things right. she is hurt becoz of ur decision, so give her sometime, tell her dat it wazz a very big mistake, and u really love her. i think da gurls r very understanding in dat way. so i think u just need some time. try to b in contact with her as much as u can. do the things dat u did to please her when u started ur relationship. but at da same time give her a space. after all dis i think she'll come back to u. GOOD LUCK.
2007-10-31 08:50:59 · answer #5 · answered by >HERO< 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what did you do to make her angrey first all did you cheat on her if you did then you probably can't get her back or maybe she will relize she loves you just as much as you love her,maybe she will figure it out when you have moved on and don't want her anymore.you could try going with someone else and that might make her jealous and she will want you back,but don't just use the girl for that.let the girl know you just want to date but nothing serious,but if it turns out it is serious,then that's your ex's lose not your.if it meant to be than it is if it's not than you just have to move on
2007-10-31 08:49:46 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just try and start developing a friendship with her again but be very aware of her feelings about you.She's still hurt. Don't try to push things on her or you'll drive her away more. You have to gain her trust again.
2007-10-31 08:40:37 · answer #7 · answered by Stina Lady 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
just give her love and give her what she needs right now, some space and time. still talk to her but at the same time dont get in her face all the time. she is really hurt right now and needs some time to get over that hurt. trust me, this happened to me and my boyfriend and he gave me space and time and said he loved me and still talked to me and we are back together.
2007-10-31 08:43:37 · answer #8 · answered by subzero_fan_13 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
be patient and let her cool down from the break up she is still very upset with you , just be yourself and let her know every day how much you still care about her and how wrong you were for doing what you did she will eventually listen to you especially if she still loves you. good luck
2007-10-31 08:42:38 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Learn from it. Don't blow it the next time you have a good relationship. Its like anything valuable, once you break it you can't fix it like it used to be. Hopefully next time you will be more careful with things you value.
2007-10-31 08:41:49 · answer #10 · answered by Michael 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋