Enjoy....
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
3 graduate engineers were discussing who might have been responsible for the design of the human body.
The first one said "Think of all the joints etc. it must have been a mechanical engineer".
The second one said "No no, what about all the electrical impulses and nerves etc? It must have been an electrical engineer".
The third graduate was shaking his head, "You are both wrong, the human body was designed by a civil engineer - who else would run a waste pipe through a recreational area"?
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil Engineers?
Mechanical Engineers build weapons, Civil Engineers build targets.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Civil Engineering... its just one dam thing after another
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Phone book directory listing for Boring: see Civil Engineering
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"For an optimist the glass is half full, for a pessimist it's half empty, and for an engineer is twice bigger than necessary."
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
You Might Be An Engineer If...—
You have no life - and you can PROVE it mathematically.
You enjoy pain.
You know vector calculus but you can't remember how to do long division.
You chuckle whenever anyone says "centrifugal force".
You've actually used every single function on your graphing calculator.
It is sunny and 70 degrees outside, and you are working on a computer.
You frequently whistle the theme song to "MacGyver".
You know how to integrate a chicken and can take the derivative of water.
You think in "math".
You've calculated that the World Series actually diverges.
You hesitate to look at something because you don't want to break down its wave function.
You have a pet named after a scientist.
You laugh at jokes about mathematicians.
The Humane society has you arrested because you actually performed the Schrodinger's Cat experiment.
You can translate English into Binary.
You can't remember what's behind the door in the engineering building which says "Exit".
You have to bring a jacket with you, in the middle of summer, because there's a wind-chill factor in the lab.
You are completely addicted to caffeine.
You avoid doing anything because you don't want to contribute to the eventual heat-death of the universe.
You consider ANY non-engineering course "easy". When your professor asks you where your homework is, you claim to have accidentally determined its momentum so precisely, that according to Heisenberg it could be anywhere in the universe.
The "fun" center of your brain has deteriorated from lack of use.
You'll assume that a "horse" is a "sphere" in order to make the math easier.
The blinking 12:00 on someone's VCR draws you in like a tractor beam to fix it.
You bring a computer manual / technical journal as vacation reading.
The salesperson at Circuit City can't answer any of your questions.
You can't help eavesdropping in computer stores... and correcting the salesperson.
You're in line for the guillotine... it stops working properly... and you offer to fix it.
You go on the rides at Disneyland and sit backwards to see how they do the special effects.
You have any "Dilbert" comics displayed in your work area.
You have a habit of destroying things in order to see how they work.
You have never backed up your hard drive.
You haven't bought any new underwear or socks for yourself since you got married.
You spent more on your calculator than on your wedding ring.
You think that when people around you yawn, it's because they didn't get enough sleep.
You would rather get more dots per inch than miles per gallon
You've ever calculated how much you make per second.
Your favorite James Bond character is "Q," the guy who makes the gadgets.
You understood more than five of these jokes.
You make a copy of this list, and post it on your door (or your home page !)
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Some engineers are trying to measure the height of a high pole. They try building a contraption by piling up unstable ladders, but after one of them gets hurt falling off of it, a technician comes, removes the pole, lays it on the ground and measures it. One of the engineers sneers at him: 'what an idiot, he didn't measure the height, he measured the length'..."
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet." — Scott Adams.
2007-10-31 12:38:29
·
answer #1
·
answered by MarkG 7
·
3⤊
0⤋
"i'm a woman examining civil engineering, and that i could like your comments on how women human beings civil engineers are taken care of on interest sites?" For this factor of the question, i've got no journey. i'm a male electric engineer, and don't understand everybody working in the civil engineering occupation. i could in basic terms undertaking a wager which you're able to run into some lunk-head shape worker in case you have been to flow to a shape web site. back, i do no longer understand. "i'm curious to understand if any of you have any exciting thoughts on how women human beings are taken care of and how suitable to tackle discrimination?" it is the place I do have a tale that could relate to you. My sister is examining computing device engineering and has a neat contract with a business enterprise that provides her a scholarship alongside with engineering artwork on her time without work in the time of wintry climate/summer time, and so on. apparently, certainly one of her superiors many times made comments which comprise: "women human beings could go into mechanical engineering, no longer computing device engineering". i'm uncertain how she dealt with it precisely, yet i've got faith she in simple terms shrugged it off and it went away. To me, the remark does not make any experience. Why could women human beings be predisposed to assessment mechanical engineering vs. computing device engineering? One could think of that an ignorant individual could say that ladies human beings have not have been given any business enterprise in engineering often.
2016-10-03 01:39:57
·
answer #3
·
answered by ? 4
·
0⤊
0⤋
There are no civil engineers, they all swear like troopers
2007-10-31 10:37:20
·
answer #4
·
answered by firebobby 7
·
1⤊
0⤋