My daughter, 3rd grader, wants to be in the schools talent show. She was talking to her art teach, who is a male, about it. He offered to be in the talent show WITH her and gave her his home phone number so that they could "practice" together. I am freaking out. I don't believe ANY teacher should give out their home phone # and why wouldn't he just suggest that I bring her back to the school so they could "practice" together. I am going to call him, because my daughter is very excited, and agree that I will go WITH her and sit WITH her while they practice. What would you do in this situation?
2007-10-31 07:45:37 · 30 answers · asked by misbotta 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
This is EXTREMELY inappropriate. I would call your school administrator today- right now! There is not one single reason a teacher should be giving out their phone number, address, anything to a student. If they wish to give it to parents so they can call in the evening and discuss any issues related to school, then that is different. I would not call the teacher. I find it very odd too that the teacher wants to be in the show with her??? Please go with your gut instinct. All one needs to do is turn on the news or read the paper and see how many child molesters are out there, and unfortunately, how many teachers have been caught doing inappropriate things with students!!!
2007-10-31 07:52:15 · answer #1 · answered by FLmom3 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I would call and meet with the teacher first, and be present for any and all practice sessions. There is a chance that he is naively being supportive of your daughter and putting himself in a legally compromising position. There is, of course, also a chance that this is something else.
As an ex-teacher and parent volunteer, we are warned constantly of the legal ramifications of inappropriate touching... we are told that we leave ourselves legally vulnerable if we do so much as allow a child to hug us when they are upset. It is unlikely that he hasn't heard this same spiel... which would make him really stupid if he was trying anything.
If he has been in the system for years, and is planning anything inappropriate, it is doubtful that he would do something so overt. To establish a pattern, he would have to be a bit sneakier... That being said, if my son had been given the same invitation, I would be with him during the whole practice session and not allow him time alone with the teacher. I truly hope that his invitation was naively kind, but I think you are simply playing the role of an excellent parent to stay with your daughter and chaperone the practice sessions.
2007-10-31 15:02:42 · answer #2 · answered by borealtroll 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I would call the principal and ask if this is considered ethical on the teachers part. Either it's not, and you've protected your daughter, or it is, and at least you've brought attention to the fact that it shouldn't be. Under no circumstances should she practice with him, even with you there, because he could twist your approval of him when you are NOT there. His motivation has limited choices as to why he would make such an offer to an 8 year old. Deal with his boss, not him.
2007-10-31 15:06:59 · answer #3 · answered by Katherine N 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
w.o.w that's insane. I don't think that he should have gave out his number at all. While I was in high school, and was having some problems I had a teacher give me her number if I ever needed someone to talk to but then again I am a girl and I was a lot older... To be a teacher in elem. school, he should have called you and told you about it before he did anything... What is the talent for anyways =) haha But def. go with her...
<3
2007-10-31 14:50:42 · answer #4 · answered by Jolene 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, I live in a small town and it's not uncommon for my children's teachers to give certain parents/children their home phone numbers... email address etc. Is it possible that maybe the teacher is from a small town so is in this habit? Also, is your child especially talented in art? I'm a little confused as to what your child would need to "practice" in art. However, as long as you are included, I say go for it. If he asks you not be present, I say listen to your Momsense! What I'd love to say is surely the male teacher doesn't have ideas about your child... but these days you can't really honestly say that. Here's hoping for the best though! Best of luck to you!
2007-10-31 16:54:06 · answer #5 · answered by Amy G 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I would be down at the school like today yesterday now to find out what the hell its about. I would be on the phone with the superintendent. Go with your instincts. Teachers have email accounts at school and if anything should talk to U about practice not your 3rd grade child.
2007-10-31 15:02:41 · answer #6 · answered by Devil Doc 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would ask him why he gave her the phone number. I would tell him how uncomfortable you are with it and that you don't find it appropriate. If she wants to be partners with the art teacher than again I would talk to the teacher and give him guidelines. I would never leave her alone with him with the feelings you have. If he is upset or feels uncomfortable that is just to bad. It is better to error on the side of your daughters safety than his feelings. No man comes before my daughter and her safety. Do what ever keeps her safe and what ever makes you feel comfortable.
2007-10-31 17:19:28 · answer #7 · answered by Jenn 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with the others who said that you should talk to the teacher and, if you don't like the end result of the conversation, take it further up in the school administration.
If he *does* have something bad in mind, he is sure being stupid about it by not trying to hide what he's doing from you or anybody.
2007-10-31 19:29:09 · answer #8 · answered by petrof_skinsky 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just to give his number to your daughter is not approiate. It'd be different if he said to her "Have your mom or dad call me, here's my phone number. I want to speak to them" This being a case where neither can drive due to health problems or one can't because of problems & the other has to work.
If it has anything to do besides school, he's crossing the line. You have the right idea to go with her and watch while they practice. It may be different if you knew him and knew there was nothing to worry about.
2007-10-31 21:56:45 · answer #9 · answered by kb9kbu 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
IF this were a female teacher would you be any less threatened? most likely, and I willing to bet you wouldn't have a problem at all with it. So this is more about your personal issues, not the actual scenario you layed out.
Of course you go with her to the practice, thats just what a parent should do.
And briging her back up to school for everyone to see would be favoritism, he is possibly just trying to make sure your daughter does the talent show because she could be really excited about it.
Personal phone number, how do you know he didint give that to her to give to you? You dont know anything other than what your 3rd grader told you, and to run off and potentially ruin two lives (the teachers and your daughters) OVER WHAT A 9 YR OLD SAYS is ridiculous, talk to him first and feel the situation out.
Less than 1% of 1% of 1% of students are sexually abused by teachers or school faculty. Dont play into hysteria and hype, use good judgement and be an adult.
Discuss this with him (the teacher). Maybe your daughter is nervous and having her favorite teacher on stage would help her calm down. Maybe he gave her the number ot give to you so she could feel like SHE was the one who was planning and being a "big girl."
On the surface, yes it seems shady, but thats the surface. how many times have you been completely off base based on appearances and perceptions?
2007-10-31 14:49:38 · answer #10 · answered by Phil M 7 · 9⤊ 5⤋