He always seems to notice every small detail and points it out. If I get a zit it's like "What's that on your face?", if my roots are comming in even the slightest bit he tells me, if he thinks my boobs are smaller he tells me, once when we were sitting in the car he thought my stomach was sticking out but it was just a roll in my shirt, if he thinks I have too much make up on or if I'm wearing less he tells me too. You get the picture. Now I mean I get insecure, but I've dated alot of guys and I get hit on often, I model part time, and my friends all say I'm pretty, even strangers do! But it makes me feel so self concious around him. I know he loves me and he does say I'm beautiful ect., but why is he always doing this?
2007-10-31 07:20:26 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Lol he's an Aries.
2007-10-31 07:24:32 · update #1
Well I mean to be fair, all my friends like him adn so does my family. He would never ever hit me! And he does take me out on dates and gets me surprises and things like that. I have friends who have really crappy boyfriends so I'm aware of how they canbe manipulative, but I mean he lets me hang out with my friends and go out he doesn't tell me what to do. Just points out flaws about me from time to time and I've told I don't like it and he seems surprised i took it that way.
2007-10-31 07:32:40 · update #2
It's a control thing. He's trying to control you by the constant negativity and criticism. That way you'll be a slave to his opinions. Don't fall into that. Control freaks don't care if you meet the criteria that they set, they get off watching you trying to meet the criteria. So if you do meet one or all, they change the criteria to something else. IT'S CONTROL. Tell him that not everything about you or that you do needs to be validated by him. He wont like it, but it will let him know that you are not trying to be controlled and validated by what he sets forth.
2007-10-31 07:27:44 · answer #1 · answered by sustasue 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
He doesn't love you. Anyone will nice things to you when they are being nice (like that you are beautiful). The real test of how much he loves you is when he isn't in a romantic or nice mood.
To me, since he is so overly concerned about your appearance, that he is just using you for your looks. What guy doesn't want to tell people he is dating a model? What guy doesn't want to date a girl that everyone says is pretty? it doesn't sound like he is saying anything about your personality... doesn't it seem strange that he is only concerned about how you look?
And if you aren't good enough for him now (while you are still young), you won't be when you get old. What happens when you get old (it happens to everyone) and you can't fix these things. I promise you that if you don't get out of this soon, he is going to break you heart. I guarantee it. I know my word means nothing to you now but just remember this. I'm just so tired of seeing the quality girls with the wrong guy...
2007-10-31 14:32:15 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He does this because putting you down makes him look better. Or so he thinks. Remember, deminishing someone else's self-esteem is the number one trick of abusers. Abusive relationships start by the guy being nice. Then he's a jerk. Then nice again. And on and on. It's cyclical and usually verbal insults lead to physical abuse. Putting you down is just the beginning. Get out while you still can.
2007-10-31 14:28:11 · answer #3 · answered by cjtorresg 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He problably does this when he is feelling insecure, I hade a guy treat the same way. I mean he would like to smallest stupidest things and one day I got feed up and told him that its not cool that he does that and I asked was there somthing wrong with him, and why does he have to put me down to make himself feel better.. So after that he stopped. Just let em kno how you feel.
2007-10-31 14:35:17 · answer #4 · answered by Mrs.Drew 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since you are pretty & get attention from other guys, it could be your boyfriend's way of making himself feel better by noting your "flaws."
Would you tolerate this from one of your platonic friends? If one of your friends had a boyfriend like this, what would you think?
This guy may just be immature & insecure, but why should you pay the price while he learns to grow up?
2007-10-31 20:57:58 · answer #5 · answered by Treadstone 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Heymaybe is jealous of your looks and wants to degrade you so you think youre not that pretty and dont leave him for a better looking guy (convincing you you cant do better). It also makes him feel better and above you. You should leave him anyways though because thats abuse. Cut your losses and get out of that relationship as soon as you possible can. He obviously does not value you as a person and has no respect for you.
2007-10-31 14:27:00 · answer #6 · answered by Raelee 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Why ask us, why not ask him? COMMUNICATE. Tell him you don't appreciate him picking out every tiny perceived imperfection (esp when they're not even real). Ask him how he'd feel if it was done to him...people aren't 100% every minute and if ANY of those things really had a bearing on how he feels about you, then you're wasting your time with him.
2007-10-31 14:25:38 · answer #7 · answered by . 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think you need to stop seeing this guy as well. It's "emotional" abuse. He puts you down so he can control you. And make you feel that you can't do any better than him.
You can & you will. Let him go!!!!!
2007-10-31 14:26:15 · answer #8 · answered by jtbrick1208 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Because he doesn't deserve you.
And he probably knows it. It sounds like he's trying to 'break' you so that he can be more controlling, so that he can feel better about himself. It's bullying, don't stand for it.
2007-10-31 14:25:22 · answer #9 · answered by Becci 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me like he is trying to mold you into his own type of person. I would not stick around if I were you. He doesn't sound worth it.
2007-10-31 14:26:06 · answer #10 · answered by george g 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋