My mil has been very rude to me during my marriage to her son. She has compared me to her daughter. She has compared herself to my own kids. When I am around her she tries to be so nice to me when she knows she has done me so wrong. I try my best to get along with her. She loves reading biblical books. So I go on the Internet and give them to her. When we are around each other she always says off the wall things to me. She waits to say these things when noone is around. What can I say to defend myself around her?
2007-10-31 06:27:29 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Well I would tell her, Look I am trying really hard to get you to like me, and I am trying to remain respectful, but you tend to make it difficult at times and I dont understand it. Please fill me in on what it is that you dont like about me. Depending on her responce tell her your sorry she feels that way and would like to make things better between the two of you. It really depends on how she responds to that. Good Luck!
2007-10-31 06:40:28 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe a small pocket recorder would help. Does your husband not believe you about her being " rude and making off the wall comments" ? Try repeating what she's says, but LOUDLY, so everyone can hear. ( i.e. , she asks, "What are wrong w/ your kids" - you respond LOUDLY , "Why would you ask me What is Wrong with my kids?!!" ) Eventually someone will catch on. Some mothers just cannot accept the fact that "their baby boy" loves another woman (even though it is a WAY Different kind of "Love" ) . But if you haven't already done so, sit down w/ Your hubby and have a "heart to heart" and tell him exactly how you feel, and what you've done to gain her acceptance, etc.... Good Luck !!
2007-10-31 13:40:09 · answer #2 · answered by casper 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel for you, this type of person never gets it. No matter how nice you are she'll always try to goad you when no one else is around. There are two reasons for that, one is she don't want others to know how nasty she can be, and the second is if she gets to you and you end up telling what she says or does, everyone will question your version because they have never seen or heard her do things like that. I'm going to be rather nasty here, but I would simply say to her. You know you being a christian and God fearing woman, aren't you worried about what God will think of the way you treat me, and to do it when no one else is around means you plan on doing it. That would mean it's even more vicious because it's planned. Well I guess I'll just have to ask God to forgive you too because "I" already have.
Then walk away. I don't know if it will work with her, but it's worth a try.
2007-10-31 13:41:29 · answer #3 · answered by WACVET75 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep her at a a distance, don't allow her to be alone with you. I have the same problem. I resent my MIL and I think she is starting to figure it out, and I am fine with that. I am tired of pretenting that I like her. I am polite to her, but always have my guard up. You have to accept her, but you don't have to be around her any more than you want. Sometimes I even leave my own house when she is around, because I know that my husband loves her.
2007-10-31 13:35:18 · answer #4 · answered by Ellyn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let her know (In a nice way) that you don't approve of her comments and would appreciate it if they would stop. You don't need to be compared to anyone since it's her son that your married to, and not her. Remind her that you've tried very hard to be friends but it will never work if she doesn't want to be and leave it at that. Say it in a very firm tone and make sure you mean it! Good luck!
2007-10-31 13:33:32 · answer #5 · answered by Farmer Chic 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is very important that you talk with your husband and that he supports you first of all.
Next, it is imperative to handle each little thing as it happens. When she says something crazy to you, confront her. "That doesn't make sense." "I don't understand what you mean," etc..., "Are you trying to imply ...," Then call out to whoever else is there, "Come in here honey, do you know what your Mom just said to me ....,"
Also if she says something rude or mean just tell her matter of factly, "I really don't appreciate that." or "I really don't think that is an accurate depiction." "I really think that was rude and uncalled for." and then go about your business so it doesn't turn into a fight.
When she sees she isn't going to get by with her crap any more, she will go to your husband etc.., and try to stir up things and that is why you need your husbands support and y'all need to talk in advance about how you will deal with it before it happens.
Eventually, when she sees it just isn't working. She will quit.
2007-10-31 14:03:43 · answer #6 · answered by wondermom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
we sound like the same person kind of, my mother in law does some of the samethings...I don't go around her that much and don't spend any extra un needed time around her. I'm respectful to her and thats that. I don't have to be that way but i choose to because I'm 19 and married to her son so I try to keep some type of peace between us; and thats just how my parents raised me....just pray about it and keep your distance and cool.
2007-10-31 17:43:39 · answer #7 · answered by I'm trying to do Ryte! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just be strait foward to her and your man because he needs to know this ok if she reads all these biblical books then you start reading the bible period and ask god to reveal the answer to your problem through that book because thats where the real anwer lies not on hear
2007-10-31 13:46:42 · answer #8 · answered by JIMMY V 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe you've listed more than enough reasons for your discomfort. In your shoes I would try my best to avoid her.
Why make yourself miserable? It's really not worth it.
Sounds like no one would be good enough for her son.
2007-10-31 13:35:48 · answer #9 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont say anything to her .just pray for her silently. and wqatch her change
2007-10-31 13:51:36 · answer #10 · answered by preachercarney 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋