Why do people do this?

Question

everyone seems to take what I say way too literly, instead of looking through what I am saying to see what I am talking about.

ex:
me: Do you have an old pair of really tight pants I can have for my halloween costume?
sister: Thanks for calling me fat.

Obviously I didn't mean to call her fat, but she pulled it out of my words. I'm not the best at watchin my words so closly that people can't pick them apart to find something harmful. Y do people do this? All my friends and espically my sister do it, how do I get them to understand that I'm not trying to harm them?

this happens a lot to me if you can't tell.

just some additional info:
my sister is not smaller than me, she just used to be.

and when I talk about my friends I mean when something slips or comes out the wrong way they take it literally, even when they know I wouldn't say something like that about them, and then they won't let it go!

I could deff. be better at filtering my words, but I don't want to have to protect my self from my own mouth and my own friends all the time, I know there's no easy solution, but y do people do this.

Answer 1

No you DO have to watch what you say. thanks to bottom feeding lawyers people are looking to sue at the drop of a hat, making it hard for people with real problems and grievances to get justice. this country especially has become to sensitive. we need thicker skins and a a real sense of humor. being a fat white guy I have NO defense or protection at all so I've learned to suck it up and appreciate the value of treating people with respect. ralphie may is dead on the money. we all need to lighten up.

Answer 2

I didn't hear anything wrong in what you said to your sister so maybe she *is* a little uptight. However, you claim that most people (your sister and all your friends etc.) seem to have a problem with the things that you say which leads me to believe that although they may perhaps be a little too "sensitive", it may also be that you are not thinking before speaking. Maybe you are saying things without thinking that can cause certain people to take offense or misinterpret what you say.
Just stop a minute and think what you are going to say and try to word it in a way that would be less "abrasive" or insulting.

For instance with your sister you could have started out by saying something like: "I have a great idea for a Halloween Costume only I need a tight pair of pants. You're smaller than me, so do you have an old pair of pants that you can lend me?"

See the differance?

Hope I helped.

Answer 3

Sounds to me like your sister is self concious and like you could use a thought filter. Think about the things you say before you say them, and word them in the way that is the most flattering for the person you are talking to.

Answer 4

I think women are the only people who do it...we must have excelled in Metaphor 101 a bit too much and failed comprehension all through college..who knows. Must be extreme sensitivity of insecurity which is why there cant be freaking peace in the world. next time just say..yeah ***** I called you fat..now how about those pants? might as well right?

Answer 5

I'm not sure about the other instances, but your sister was definately drawing a conclusion right out of a hat. In order for her jeans to be tight on you, wouldn't that indicate that she would be wearing a smaller size than you do?

Answer 6

Women are very sensitive about their weight, regardless of whether they are overweight or not. However, I think your sister was probably just having a bad day and took what you said wrong.

As for other situations, just think about what you say before you say it. Think about how it would sound to someone else and if they could possibly take it another way. OR just tell them to stop looking for hidden meanings!

Answer 7

This is because people take things too seriously. Some people need to lighten up. You also have to mean that a person may be in a bad mood, when you ask him/her this.

Answer 8

Well it seams you could watch what you say and word your words a little difrently as to show you are not meaning any harm

Answer 9

There's nothing wrong with the way you said it.

Sounds to me like your sister is an over-analytical psycho!

If anything, just be blunt about everything. so there's no question as to what your talking about and what you want

Answer 10

Sometimes it's to way you say something. Other times it's just people rattling your chain. Your sis I think is rattling your chain... what are siblings for anyway?! Don't worry and stop taking what other people say so seriously too.