why did my children father not help me raise my children and do opposite of what i told him?

Answer 1

Because some men can't step up to the plate and take responsibility.

Answer 2

because you had children for and not with him. They are yours regardless. So act as if you had them all alone, immaculate conception. They are your little gifts from God. God sometimes uses messed up people to bring the people into the world he needs to be here. So when your kids discover the great cure or play that big game remember you got them there. Well raised children are the best revenge on a bastard father. How do I know. Cause I raised 3 of the best people ever. alone.

Answer 3

most men do not like to be told what to do by a female. it makes them look inferior.
you children's father is just been the typical fathers that don't like to support their children.
it is a sad reality but sometimes when that closeness with the kids is not there any more, they tend to drift and lack the ability to care.
you will see him come around every now and then to see if the kids are doing okay.
only you still, can tell the real reason why he's acting the way he is.
keep the faith and show him you can make it without him. all the best with the kids.

Answer 4

did you both agree on having the children or did you want them to keep him around. Going off of past baby mama drama, he probably can't stand you and is doing everything he can until you say " I don't want you in the kids life".
Some more reasons might be, he doesn't want kids and feels forced to a father, he's immature and feels like you ruined his life, there could be friends,family or new girlfriend telling him what to do, etc. Anyway more than likely he doesn't like you and is doing whatever it is on purpose.
Find out the real reason he is doing the opposite, he probably has already told you and you're in denial.

Answer 5

In answer to him not helping you raise the children. He didn't care about the children or you but only for himself. In answer to why did he do the opposite of what you told him. I have no answer. You did not specify what you told him. I do know one thing though.... if you ASK kindly and politely with a humble attitude your request goes a lot further then TELLING with a bossy and higher authority attitude.

Answer 6

Your first mistake was Telling this dead beat to do something. Your second is giving him an option not to. Your third was expecting that he would "do the right thing"

Are you attractive? Crazy? Sane? Employed? Educated? Poor? Healthy?

Is he any different from you in these areas?
Is he egocentric?
Is the child undoubtedly his?


There are alot of variables here, you see?

You might suck and he might not want to be with you. You might be too much woman for him and intimidated him into running for his life. The kid might not be what he wants/needs in his life and he may feel you should have chose to abort or adopt instead of placing the responsobility on yourselves.

Who knows.... He ran off and you are stuck with your choices. You shouldn't have sex with anyone you wouldn't want a kid with and you should always know their views on the issue. Protect yourself regardless of anyone else.

Answer 7

Could be a # of good reasons. But most importantly, he's not around. Take advantage of that very large plus! Since they were YOUR children, I expect he didnt feel he needed to be a part of their life. And perhaps he didnt like being told what to do. At any rate, your children dont need that kind of male example/role model in their life. Be thankful!

Answer 8

Because it's easier to do nothing than raising children and do whatever someone says. I'm not saying it is right, but unfortunately, that's the way things are, specially if you consider that men have less capacity of empathy than women.

Answer 9

Because his mother & father didn't teach him that he was capable of being involved in raising a child, didn't teach him the importance of a father in a child's life, didn't teach him to accept responsibility for himself & his actions. Could be, too, that you pushed him away, discouraged him in subtle & overt ways from parenting, made it hard for him (perhaps by telling him what to do instead of respecting him as a parent, just like you, in his own right).

How are you going to raise your children - boys and girls? Are you going to teach them that men are just as valuable as women when it comes to parenting, so that they will make better decisions as parents (and when choosing partners), themselves?

Answer 10

All major Psychological tests show that most people do the opposite of what they are told. The best thing to do is to lead by example. However, you must convince instead of obligate.

Answer 11

well if it was a teen thing most of 99 per cent of the girls have been told do not mess around the boys and of course the guy will run that is why you go to welfare and let them handle it.