LDS ONLY: What do you think of someone who is dissfellowshipped?

Question

Example: Would you not like the person, think they are bad, not talk to them, etc.etc.

Answer 1

That they have make a mistake and need everyone's support and love more than ever. I think most LDS people believe the same way.

No, of course I wouldn't refrain from speaking to them, etc. That would be completely against everything I believe in, and against the example of the Savior.

Answer 2

Disfellowship is the result of a disciplinary council. What goes on in a disciplinary council is confidential. In most cases the resulting actions are confidential, so you never know who is disfellowshipped and who is not disfellowshipped. Sometimes the person disfellowshipped tells everyone. That is their choice.

So, I might never know who around me is disfellowshipped. And if I did I would feel compassion and understanding for them, and go out of my way to talk to them. This is the teaching of the LDS scriptures, to reprove at times with sharpness, but afterwards show an increase in love. Those who claim that we are not supposed to talk to disfellowshipped people are telling you a damnable lie.

Adultery is a very serious offense, and usually results in excommunication. Wife or child abuse is also very serious offenses. We cannot always tell what disciplinary action the Lord will inspire a bishop or stake president to take, but in my experiences with dozens of disciplinary councils the Lord has clearly given his will.

Sometimes we hear of rumors of adultery and wonder why that person has not been excommunicated. We must remember that gossip is not fact. When the presiding authority knows of such serious sin he will take the appropriate action. Or else such a person will be removed from his position, but that is rarely necessary in the Church.

Answer 3

Actually, I have a really good friend who has been disfellowshipped... I am still his friend and don't bother him about it. I silently am sad for him because I see him making incorrect choices that are leading him away from the church. I worry that if he goes on much longer and doesn't repent, he may be excommunicated. It is sad...
I would never judge a person, that's not my place. All I can really do is be an example and hope that they get back on the straight and narrow.

Answer 4

Disfellowshipment is like a time out. A time for that person to get their act together. Why would I treat them any differently? Everyone has problems at one time or another. It takes courage and conviction to admit them and then work on them. If people are so judgmental that they would not like you or not talk to you, then they have a problem more serious than yours.

Answer 5

If someone is under church discipline, it is an opportunity for them to repent and make a new start. I wouldn't do anything to make that more difficult that it already is. If I have a friend they are a friend inside or outside the church.

Answer 6

Well, I was in the position MANY YEARS AGO, of testifying against someone in the L.D.S. Church regarding him/her being excomunicated. This person (I am trying to remain anonymous on this, so please bare with me) This person had been legally, found guilty, of forging peoples cheques and keeping the money. They were going to excomunicate him on these grounds. Apparently, at this point, he had lost everything (which he certainly deserved) however, I remembered some of the teachings of Jesus and Buddha, about forgiving and basically not kicking a man/women when they were down. This man had commited adultary, a fact, but the Church didn't want to excommunicate him for that, why I never knew. However, I refused to serve him the "last blow", even though I hated his guts. I knew that he was going to end up in jail, and the only thing he had left was membership in "his" church.

I do not believe in judgement, on our part, towards another human being, whether religious or otherwise. I do believe in justice, but I do not believe in the death penalty, etc. I knew that this would litterally, kill that person. So I refused to testify.
Funnily enough, the members who interviewed me, at my house, did not understand why I wouldn't testify against him.

There are many religions that "shun" or "turn their back" or "excommunicate" a member. However, I do not believe that the L.D.S. Church stops talking to them OR turns their back on them. Those laws "shunning" "turning their back" etc. I believe are inhuman laws, that cut everybody from their family, children and all. That I do not go along with.

Just read the answer from "PEACE -" I really would like to understand why battered wives and children and adultery, are not actions that the L.D.S. want to "excommuniate". To me, they are worse than criminal law activities. Can anyone in the L.D.S. Church please explain this to me? I do not want to judge, I want to understand it.

Answer 7

I would want to know if they wanted or needed my help and I would be waiting and hoping for the time that this is lifted from him.

It's not about how we treat him/her it's about what he/she is aloud to do. We should treat him/her like any-other member in any way that is possible.

Friendships should not end with disfellowshipment.

D

Answer 8

I would respect them, because that means they're going through the repentence process; which is very hard and challenging. It takes a lot of bravery to start that, go see the bishop, accept the disfellowship, and continue going to church and remaining faithful while he or she can't take the sacrament.

I've had friends who have gone through it, and you know something, when they share their testimonies of the healing power of the atonement, I can just tell they really know it - because they've really been through it. Their testimonies are very powerful and they are a credit to membership of our church.

best wishes

Answer 9

Ooh. I would really like to know as well. I have a dear friend who is LDS and she has been shunned by her congregation for initiating a divorce of her abusive husband who not only beats her but beats the kids. In fact, one child was removed from the home by CPS she was beaten so bad by her dad and she had to leave him to get her daughter back. He has more than half dozen assault charges pending for physical abuse btw. Since everyone has shunned her she quit going to church. I'm really interested to know the thoughts behind this. Good question, excellent timing ~ for me.

Answer 10

I feel for them because repentence is hard enough without all the gossip that accompanies it.