How do you forgive yourself?

Question

Thanks for all the hugs. ((((((Hugs))))) to all of you, as well.

Answer 1

Chocolate Cake!

Answer 2

It's not always easy. I think you have to face the thing you know you did wrong, and think about why you did it. Did you know at the time that it was wrong? Are you sufficiently aware of the consequences now that you can be confident you won't do it again? Then you may not have been sufficiently aware of the likely consequences when you did it, or you had some unlikely consequences.

My biggest challenge in this regard was forgiving myself for not preventing my husband's suicide. At first I thought I was really to blame: was I THAT hard to live with? But when I talked about it with his mother and sister, they agreed that I had not killed him, I had kept him alive for over 20 years. And I remembered something he had said more than once: "I have always believed I was destined to destroy myself." Gradually, going over all the things I thought I might have done to change his mind, I realized that the only things I was thinking about NOW were things I could not have anticipated would work THEN. And in fact, they are mostly things I could not actually have done, but still felt I ought to have done, or ought to have been able to do.

Face it: we do the best we can under the circumstances at the time, and when the circumstances change, we look back and feel guilty unnecessarily.

Answer 3

1st, make sure that you did something that needs forgiving... I got caught in the I'm wrong trap withmy ex and so even when I was in the right I felt a need to forgive myself....

2nd, realize that just because you make a choice you no longer agree with, you are not bad or wrong... you just get to choose differently next time...

3rd wrap your arms around yourself and squeeze - who cares if your co-workers laugh, I said do it! and know that that's a hug from me....

Answer 4

You first have to understand that Jesus loves you so much He died in your place and that if you are willing to ask Him, He will forgive you.

Once you comprehend that Jesus has forgiven you, forgiving yourself becomes easier.

However, depending on what issue occured in your life, it sitll might not be easy.

I knew an 18 year old girl who got pregnant out of wedlock.

She was devistated as were her parents.

Instead of being concerned for their daughter, they reacted by saying, "How could you that to us?"

Talk about guilt!

When her baby was not quite two years old, her parents took her out for dinner to celebrate her 21st birthday.

They left the baby with a baby sitter and to make a long story short, the baby sitter didn't pay attention and her baby died.

How could she forgive the baby sitter?

How could she forgive herself for picking such an incompetent baby sitter?

Well you can imagine what was going thru her mind.

Only as she began to accept that Jesus was willing to forgive her was she able to begin to forgive herself.

Pastor Art

Answer 5

Its more like you receive God's forgiveness of you rather than..i dunno...'letting yourself off the hook'. I think its pretty obvious that people live with guilt. They may think that they have gotten over it with a couple beers and tears but its real easy for man to fall back to his nature.

Part of Christianity is receiving forgiveness once and for all from God for the stuff you cant seem to forgive yourself for- and unlike Catholicism....you dont need an intercessor to do it. You just ask God directly.

Answer 6

Sweetie, I will never forgive myself for a few things that shaped the person I am today. Maybe they were not entirely my fault but ultimately I allowed that person or event into my life. Even the worst day of my life is my fault, I opened the door for him.

Answer 7

First of all, you do a good deal of introspection and make sure you've actually done something that you need to forgive yourself for. If you find that you have, then you need to amend the behavior that you find unacceptable so as not to repeat the mistake. Then, after that, you can go about the process of fixing whatever damage was done.

Answer 8

The worst part about this, is you have to face what you've done. As much as you've been suppressing the feelings, the shame and the self hatred...you have to experience every terrible second of it. There can be no forgetting, only dealing with.

I spent this morning going over in my head a particularly bad decision from my past. I nearly cried on the subway, but I'm starting to forgive myself. Not because what I did was right, but because I'm comming to grips with my decision by understanding it. I won't go into details, but I'm not particularly proud some things in my life. Only by really examining them, and seeing who I am and what I've done can I ever get past it and forgive myself. I've still got some work to do, but I've got something I didn't even realize I didn't have for a long time: Hope.

(((LINZ)))

[hugs help too]

Answer 9

I usually forgive myself with a Dairy Queen ice cream cake.

Answer 10

Three things, ask God to forgive you (and remember that he forgave the man who drove the nails into his hands, he can forgive you), ask the person you hurt for their forgiveness (sincerely) and do what ever it takes (if possible ) to right the wrong (if they refuse to forgive you the sin is now on them), and then take a step back and look at yourself as another person and simply say, could I forgive this person if they had done steps one and two, and then thank God for the knowledge and forgiveness you gained.