Is this so wrong?

Question

I am a 20 year old with a 5 year old son and pregnant with number 2 and I am not married but I do attend church and my pastor is amazing he understand that I have been with my Baby's Daddy for 6 years it just that we are not financualy ready for marrage but alot of the other people who attend my church look down on me like I am evil but I do love God and I want my children to be raised in church and feel the same way I do for the lord is that so wrong?

Answer 1

Chocolate Cake!

Answer 2

No it is not wrong I am 20 and have a 4 month old and I am not married and I believe in God and want my daughter to grow up the same way. It is understandable that you can't afford it I can't either. But you don't have to do a ceremony you can just go to the court house and sign a paper and pay like $45 or something like that and then wait until you are financially ready to have a ceremony and then do it that way.

Answer 3

Anyone in your church who looks down on you should be corrected by their pastor. And you, too, should be corrected. The answer given by Cheir seems to be true but it could have been put to you in a kinder way. For the sake of your family, you'd be better off getting married. You'll probably never know how many people were broke and still got married.

Have another talk with your pastor.

Answer 4

Listen sister,
No matter what happens, always remember that people cannot represent God fully, and most of the time they represent satan more than God.

Trust in God knowing that God came to seek and save the lost, to forgive and to set free.

He did not come to condemn.

God loves you and your family, he understands your problems and your needs.
He came to forgive you for your sins, so you are sinless if you accept it. Its that simple.

Now because he loves you, he doesn't want you to make the same mistakes that you did before you were forgiven.
This is why we take time to study those who came before us and what their faults and weaknesses are, so we can learn from their triumphs and failures.- Bible -preferrably the New Testament.

Notice that RELIGIOUS people are the ones who got the most heat from Yeshua.
Because Religion is one of the biggest things that annoyed him.
Religious attitudes, superiority and pride.

If they judge you for the thing that you are now trying to make right with God.. Then they need the saviour even more than you do. Because they are comitting a bigger sin for judging you.

You will most likeley find people like that every church you go to. Mostly house groups tend to be more honest and more accountable. Not always.

As for marriage. Weigh in the benefits and the disadvantages, think of the future for you, your children, your husband.
Think of your long term goals.
What ministry does God want you in, or does he simply want you to be the best mother for your children who will raise them up in the ways of the lord and teach him how to live that way.

abraham Isaac and Jacob. The three people God used to raise up the great nation of israel.

God gave one of the biggest responsibilities to Abraham.
Not as a leader, Not as a warrior, not as a king.
But as a Father and a grandfather..

And yet his descendants went on to change the world.

Marriage is a lifetime commitment. Thats why I don't believe dating is a good way to prepare for it.
Friendships are.

But right now, you will have to take into consideration more than just your faith and strength but consider the husband.
Make sure that he is of equal or greater faith than you. If he is weaker in faith, you will have problems because he will drag you down and you will end up in divorce.... A much worse condition than when you started. And it greatly affects the children aswell.
God understands your need. you should consult people who aren't going to give you some crap advice but rather provide you with resources on parenting and marriage guidance with accountability.

Pray alot too.
Also remember and never forget that God is not about organized religion.. God is about personal relationship between you and him and how you treat people around you.

Peace, Love, Grace and God Bless.
In Christ Yeshua,
Baggs.

Answer 5

It is good that you go to church and take your son. Keep doing that. But what you are doing is still a sin. Not your children. But the act of fornication without the benefit of marriage. If you live together and do not have sex of any sort, then you can confess and be forgiven, but do not add sin upon sin and put not off your conversion from day to day. God love you and grant you the grace to cooperate with him.

Answer 6

It's great that you have a faith and that you're passing that faith on to your children. You must realize though that having a child at 15, being unwed and having another, is not going to look "good" to those in your church's congregation. Most likely they view you as "living in sin."

And it seems odd that while you CAN afford two children, you CAN'T afford to get married. That doesn't make sense.

And children most often follow their parents' example, not their advice or their instruction or their faith. In other words, your children look at the way you live and behave and will follow suit by growing up to live and behave in the same manner.

Answer 7

Marriage is a SECULAR concept not religious so don't be too concerned about what others think. It they're that way than maybe it's time to consider changing religions...Remember always that religious belief or lack there of is a choice that can be made...much like your having babies instead of abortions. I strongly urge you to check out a more open minded group of folks called Unitarian Universalists at WWW.UUA.org. PEACE!

Answer 8

You are beginning to understand the difference between GOD and those who profess to be christian. The most hateful and denigrating people about are the "religious" ones. Stick by whatever faith yo have and ignore those who think they are better than you. They really aren't they only have to put some one else down to give then any stature.

Answer 9

You are living in sin according to your own Scriptures that you claim to hold dear. It is amazing that you say that you are not financially ready to get married and yet you are financially ready to have another child! Children are the main expense of marriage, and sense you are having them anyway, why not do the decent thing and give your children a stable family structure by getting married? How much does a marriage license cost anyway?

Answer 10

You are financially ready for parenthood, but not marriage? I didn't realize that being married incurred such debt! I don't think it's wrong to wait, I just think your reasoning is wrong. You don't need alot of money to get married. You can always renew your vows with the big wedding when you can afford it.