4 years ago, my girlfriend cheated on me with another guy. I found out 2 weeks after we broke up...one of her friends told me. I kept single for 4 years after that. Now, I'm in a relationship with an absolutely amazing girl. She's the most beautiful, wonderful, smart...I could go on, but I won't... ...anyway, I know 100% that she wouldn't ever cheat on me. We really do care for each other. But I just can't keep myself from being selfish and safe guarded around her. I'm afraid of being hurt...though I know she would never hurt me.
Anyway, my question is this...my relationship 4 years ago left me with a scar. Now in my current relationship, how do I rid myself of that scar?
2007-10-31 04:44:18 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Welcome to the club dude. Several of my previous girlfriends have cheated on me. Now I am looking for reasons to find fault with my current girlfriend, who would never cheat on me. So I'm in the same situation you are in. I know she won't cheat yet I can't get these jealous thoughts out of my mind. I don't know, maybe we need to give it time. Good luck.
2007-10-31 04:49:59 · answer #1 · answered by Phillip M 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know how you feel. I was in a two year relationship with a guy that treated me like dirt. I did everything for him and loved him more than anything, but I finally had enough and broke up with him. Two days after I broke up with him I found out that he was cheating on me with my next door neighbor that was 16 years older than him.
Now i am in a relationship with an amazing guy that treats me the way I should be treated by someone that loves me. At first it was hard for me to trust another guy. It really hurt when I found out that my ex had cheated on me, but in a way that's what helped me move on. I just concentrated on all the ways he hurt me and the bad thing he had done to me and I compared that with my new boyfriend and I realized that they are two completely different people and that there is no way that my current boyfriend could cheat on me. He loves me and he wouldn't hurt me like that.
I think that if you do the same thing you'll realize that it isn't fair to assume that all women will cheat on you. Your girlfriend isn't the same person as your ex and if you and 100% sure that she won't cheat on you then she won't.
2007-10-31 11:57:48 · answer #2 · answered by Ashley*Belle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Been there, done that. In fact, the past two guys I was with cheated on me. Now I'm dating the most wonderful man, and I won't lie: it's not easy. He knew about what had happened to me, and at one point when I was unconsciously comparing him to them, he said, "I'm going to make mistakes, I know that. But let me make them; don't blame me for something I never did." That really turned me around. I hadn't even realized I was doing it.
You know she's not going to cheat on you, so give her the benefit of the doubt. Let her know what happened in the past so she's aware if you ever get insecure. I know that I am more likely to be insecure when I'm feeling neglected or when I'm really tired, so if that happens, I try to figure out what's really causing me to be upset. Then I tell my boyfriend, and we deal with it. Communication is the key to this and pretty much every other relationship foil.
We are the sum of our experiences, so you're never going to get rid of this scar; the best you can do is wear it with pride and say "Look at this scar - the wound cut deep, but I survived and now everything's great".
2007-10-31 12:03:14 · answer #3 · answered by xK 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hey well you may be odler then me but I got cheated on after a year and a half which is not as long as yours. But I understand what your going trough Im the same way with my current boyfriend.I dont think scars mend or go away thats why we call them scars = ] You know? If shes wonderful and everything im sure you'll be able to trust her osmeday. Dont stress about it. And be sure you tell her whats going on because if not shes just going to think your too possisive. I told my current b.f and he understands when I tell him certain stuff or get mad abou other girls. So just be opened. And dont worry about it. I hope all goes well
<3
desiree
2007-10-31 11:50:11 · answer #4 · answered by Oh baby! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is always natural to be a little afraid of losing such a great girl, especially if you've been hurt in the past. Just remember that she is a TOTALLY different person from your ex with different morals and stuff. If she hasn't done anything for you NOT to trust her then there is no reason to be insecure or show your jealousy, even if it hurts you to keep it in. It really sucks when you are completely faithful to someone and their insecurities cause them to blurt out things that they don't mean.
2007-10-31 11:51:16 · answer #5 · answered by Tano A 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been cheated too , long time ago... the memory will remain..but you can move on by concentrating on your current relationship in a positive way... and shun the thought of the past... God luck!!!
2007-10-31 11:54:07 · answer #6 · answered by rowee1005 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋