I'm really having an extremely rough time with life right now. I'm struggling in two of my classes, and I am in danger of not passing one of them, despite studying till my head hurts for every test...I'm also working 15 hours a week, and my hours are right at dinnertime and last till about 10 or 11 pm each night, so I haven't found time to eat as often, making me physically exahusted....I'm feeling pretty lonely as I haven't made any friends in college, and to top it all off, my dad recently told me that he has cancer.
I just feel like I'm losing control over my life. Completely stressed out. I don't really know where to go from here. It almost seems like all the hard work I put into schoolwork and my job isn't worth it, because I'm still overwhelmed and dissatisfied.
What are some ways I can deal with this stress?
2007-10-31 03:55:02 · 14 answers · asked by Daniel 4 in Health ➔ Mental Health
I know all about stress as I am usually feeling pretty overwhelmed by it just like you. Check out the your options. Your university may have free, confidential counseling services available to you. Or look for a local place in your phone book. You have a lot on your mind. Being able to freely discuss it with someone helps so much. Your stress will even decrease. Or if you aren't willing to go that route, talk to a family member (maybe brother, sister, uncle), friend, campus organization director, or even professor.
It sounds like you have a lot to juggle as many of us college students do. It is very important to take care of yourself. How can you tackle that huge paper, your job, and classes without fuel- even though you are very pressed for time, make sure you eat at least something. And when you go to the store, pick up some healthy, quick, and easy to eat meals, instead of going the fast food route 24/7. That will not help you feel better. I know you are physically and mentally exhausted. Try to change that. It will make all the difference in the world. Try to get enough sleep, 6 hours if you can, I say.
Also, working out with keep your mind and body feeling its best. Many people do not know that regular exercise is contributed to mental health too. Find a form of exercise that you enjoy. Walk/ run/ swim to help you unwind. Maybe you can even find a running buddy that will hold you accountable to your fitness and hey, you two can even talk about life as you jog.
Feeling lonely is not fun. Feeling lonely in college, away from your home, is even less fun. Believe me, I've been there. If you are not already, get involved! Find those organizations that you like, or try something that you have always wanted to try! It can be anything for building houses with habitat for humanity to playing soccer or ultimate frisbee to joining your campus student government association or trying to get involved in your faith or a faith group you've always been interested in. Being with other people helps relieve your stress, even when you know you have to study when you get back to your room.
By going out and getting involved, you may find your passion. You may find your best friend and confidant. You may find your future spouse. You may find a service organization that touches your heart.
Know that you are not alone. So many people your age, especially in college, feel the same way you do.
If you need help, find it. Or if you just need friends, go out there and get involved; friends will find you. And life will be so much easier.
Good luck.
2007-10-31 05:10:09 · answer #1 · answered by lovesmusic5678 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Get a blessing. From your dad if possible, but at least your home teachers. Your dad is no doubt feeling overwhelmed too. At this time in his life he probably needs to be able to do something for you just as much as you need to have something done for you. If due to chemo or maybe he's not a member?? he can't give you a blessing, then go to your home teachers and ask for one.
Talk to your professor(s). Set up an appointment to talk to your professor of the class you feel like your not going to pass first. See if it's as bad as you think, and what he/she recommends you do. Is it too late to drop with an X, if it is, will the prof allow you to drop with an X anyway? If it's not too late to bring up the grade realistically, then consider quiting your job. You've got a lot on your plate right now. Talk to you boss, explain what's going on personally. How that due to the hours your working, you're not getting the proper nutrition and that among other things (like finding out your dad has cancer) has caused some undue stress and that you feel your first priority is your own health, then family, then school, and finally your job. Explain that perhaps next semester things will have settled down some and that you can return to work. If your job hates to see you leave, perhaps they would be willing to work with your schedule a little more. My guess is that 15 hours a week isn't providing just a whole lot of income, so it may not be necessary that you have a job this semester. If it is necessary, then ask your boss to allow you to come in a little later and take that time to get a nutritious meal. Eat good nutritious meals when you can, and take nutritious snacks with you. Fruit is always a good snack, and drink plenty of water. If you need some protein, then try a peanut butter sandwich. I've always found that a peanut butter and banana sandwich with a container of milk to be a quick, nutritious meal that fills me up. Find a way to do something that is a stress reliever. Whether that's music (as suggested by someone here), coming here for a little while each day (a personal favorite), journaling, talking on the phone, exercising, the list goes on. A friend of mine can't manage to take a 40 question multiple choice/ true/false test without stoping half way through and talking, or doing something to take her mind off the test. Perhaps that's a strategy for you as well. Studying until your brain hurts is studying hard, not smart. Go to your student services place on campus and ask about studying techniques.
Just my suggestions.
2007-10-31 05:54:09 · answer #2 · answered by Tonya in TX - Duck 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My freshman year I went through a similar (but not the same) time in my life. Depression and anxiety run in my family and a few of my siblings had already been diagnosed with them and been treated. I had to try three different types of anti-depressants before we found one that worked. Each one takes about a month to see if it will work, so in the middle of these "experiments", I ended up having to move back home (I had gone out of state to go to college) There is a reason why God has given us medication. It's all right to see a doctor about it. The sooner you take care of it, the better you'll be. I was on meds for about a year before I was able to wean off of them. I was even able to serve a mission without them. I haven't used any now in over 7 years.
You could ask your bishop if there is an LDS family services center near you. They have councilors that you can talk to and can also get you in touch with appropriate doctors if you need them.
Also, if you don't think med. is the answer, you can try focusing on what you can control. You can control what you eat, if not when. You can control how much you study, if not how much you learn. You can control who you talk to, if not who talks back. You can control what you do with your time with your dad, if not how much time you have.
Feel free to email me if you want to talk more about it. Although it may feel like it, you are not alone and not the first person to go through this. Keep the faith and keep fighting.
God bless you,
Dane H
2007-10-31 05:14:54 · answer #3 · answered by Senator John McClain 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
First of all, let me just say that i am so sorry for what you're going through and i hope my advice helps. First thing i want to say is please, PLEASE do not hurt yourself. there are many other better ways to cure your depression than experiencing pain. Ways to feel happier at home: -keep a journal. write down goals you have to be happier. writing them down is the first step in acutally achieving it. -have a dance party. pick some of your favorite upbeat songs and dance your heart out. make sure no ones home. you may feel lame at first, but just let loose and youll have a great time. also, its a form of excersizing which will release endorphins to make you feel better. -be kind to everyone. knowing youv been kind is a good way to feel better about yourself. even if others dont recipricate, youll feel good knowing you were the bigger person. Ok, so youo definantly need to talk to someone too. talking to someone ALWAYS helps. If you cant talk to a guidence counslor, consider maybe a school adjustment consulor. ***you could also consider talking to a trusted teacher. teachers are always there to help and would be happy to do so. if you have no teachers this year you have a connection with, you could even visit a previous teacher. or you could talk to a friend, but id recomend an adult. i really hope this helps, and im so sorry your going through this. it will get better though, it always does.
2016-04-11 05:02:00 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Drugs are not the answer as some people seem to think. Pray for strength to deal with what you have been handed. I know exactly what you are going through. It is VERY tough to go to college and work and deal with a loved one being ill.
You didn't say what type of cancer your dad has. Mine had Prostate cancer, but that was well over 10 years ago and he is fine today. Cancer is NOT a death sentence anymore.
Just remember, you are never handed anything in this life that you cannot handle. I'm off to the temple today and will say a prayer for you myself. Good luck!
2007-10-31 04:54:46 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You need to see your doctor and go ahead and get on some meds. Lexapro seems to be the new long term anti-depressant. I take Xanax though because nothing else seemed to help me. My head would be hurting me so bad that I couldn't even hold my head straight and look left and right with my eyes. A doctor told me when I went to him for help years ago when I took an anti-depressant for a short time while I was going through my divorce these words that always stuck with me. He said "Sometimes, when stress occurs, our brains release too much of a chemical (I can't remember the name of it), and it causes us to have all these symptoms. The pills I am going to give you will take about 2 weeks to work, and they will help control that chemical in your brain so that you are able to function again like yourself". That was the best advice I ever had from a doctor. It really helped me out during a horrible time in my life, as you are having a horrible time in yours right now. It doesn't have to be forever, but just until things calm down around you. Good luck and I am so sorry to hear about your dad. I lost my Dad 6 years ago to pancreatic cancer.
2007-10-31 04:06:00 · answer #6 · answered by Corona 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I think that one thing you can do is talk with your school counselor or someone you respect and admire for help and advice.
Another thing you might consider is an exercise routine, four or five times a week.... this will help clear your mind, and give you time for yourself. I feel it's very important to MAKE time for YOU...
Perhaps you could prepare some sort of soup or casserole which will last a few days, so you have something decent to eat? buy yogart or other foods which are quick, but healthy.
take care ok? i hope you get some good and helpful answers here.
2007-10-31 05:04:25 · answer #7 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You are under a huge amount of stress right now.
Make an appointment with your school counselor as soon as possible.
Dealing with your father's cancer at the end of a semester that you are tanking, tired, hungry and lonely is a potion for serious depression.
School and your job are secondary. You can always make up the class or talk to the prof. about what is distracting you right now. The job is a throw-away job and not the one that will take you into retirement.
Get to a counselor immediately.
good luck.
2007-10-31 04:12:56 · answer #8 · answered by foxinsox 6 · 5⤊ 1⤋
I am so sorry about this- Stress sux!
Your schooling is stressing you out, your work isn't alowing you to nourish your body, and icing anyone?-- your dad has cancer.
No, it's not the end of the world,but it sure feels like it! (rock bottom?)
But you've got some good advice-
Talk to your prof and/or a school counselor abt your class that you think you're failing- explain all the stuff that's happening. See if either has any suggestions (I'll pray that your counselor is sympathetic/compassionate!)
Maybe even go to a doc (MD or psychiatrist) for additional help.
Whatever you do, do SOMETHING!!! If you keep going as you are now... well, just don't! Get help, talk to someone, do something to reduce the stress.
*hug* (thought you needed one!)
2007-10-31 04:23:21 · answer #9 · answered by Yoda's Duck 6 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Aw, I'm sorry!
First off, just take a deep breath and know you'll get through all of this. Writing is always a good stress releaser, but it seems you don't have much time to anything. Listening to music helps you get away from everything, and you could do that. Watch movies, especially ones that make you laugh.
Life always gets rough, so just sit tight and let it calm down. I know it'll get better, and it's only just a milestone in your life that you'll get through. Just take everything in stride, one step at a time, and it'll be alright.
I'm so sorry about your dad, I hope everything will be alright. If you need to talk...feel free to email me, alright? I know we haven't talked in a long time, and it's apparent why, but I'm always available...:D
Cheer up, things will smooth over eventually. Everything just takes time. I hope you'll be alright...:)
-Danielle
2007-10-31 13:18:19 · answer #10 · answered by Dani Marie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋