Why does she cry, when im the hurt one?

Question

So basically my girlfriend did something that kinda hurt me, she was talking to this girl on the phone and referred to me as just a friend we have been going out for like a year.....so i told her is upset me, and it was lack of respect towards me, and she is the one that started crying, why she is the one that hurt me.

Answer 1

She cried because you caught her and called her azz out on it too. She cried out of embarrassment more than anything else. I'm wondering why she referred to you as just a friend, I'd get down to the bottom of that one...

Answer 2

I think you need to have another conversation with her about it. The female brain is a lot different than the male brain - believe it or not. She is most likely crying because she feels so bad that she hurt you. A lot of girls can take situations like that really seriously to heart.

Either she was crying because she meant it and felt terrible for the pain she caused, or she was crying because she thinks it will get her out of trouble with you. You've been together for a year? - which do you honestly think it is? I doubt that anyone in that serious of relationship would still be playing games. If she is - then it's time to reconsider if this is right for you.

Whenever I hurt my boyfriend, I cry. I feel like complete crap for doing something stupid and messing up our relationship. Part of it was also that I was embarrassed that I had done something like that. I'm not playing a game or messing with his head. I just feel guilty. Some girls are notorious for wearing their hearts on their sleeves and maybe she is just one of those girls.

Don't stop telling her when things bother you. It's important to not let her tears stop your communication as a couple. She truly does want to hear if something is bothering you - but it will probably always end in tears. You don't have to say you're sorry when she starts crying. Remember that you are the one who is hurt. Just say, "Don't cry. I'm just trying to tell you how I feel. It's not the end of the world. I just want to talk this through."

Sometimes we panic and think that a conversation about how we hurt you is going to turn into the break-up conversation. Just be patient with her. Sooner or later she will realize that every conversation isn't heartbreaking and there is no need to cry.

But, it is important that you discuss what she said to her friend. Not the fact that it hurt you (i think she knows that it did and feels bad already) but how you will handle explaining your relationship to friends and family in the future so you don't get hurt again. I think you need to be on the same page before anything else happens.

Answer 3

One of two things. Either she is manipulative and turned on the water works so you'd quit asking about the relationship, or she doesn't feel like you two have a future, but you are a great Mr. Right Now, so she really wants to duck that discussion as long as possible because she wants to keep you thinking in the moment and not about the future.

She may be having so much trouble sorting out her feelings that she doesn't even know what the truth is, which makes it impossible to talk about--she could say the wrong thing to you (or worse, the right thing) and not really be feeling it. If you need to send her a message, I don't think you should get too specific--just ask her to think about the relationship and where she sees it going. Have her get back to you--don't put her on the spot for an answer--you want her to think about this and be honest, not blurt out what she thinks you want to hear.

Answer 4

Two thoughts come to mind:
Your princess isn't used to criticism. Emotionally she is immature. Everything is about her, she really doesn't understand you have feelings too. "I'm sorry" isn't yet in her vocabulary. When she stops thinking about herself, maybe you'll want a new relationship with her.

Second thought is she really does consider you just a friend and is relieved and embarrassed you found out.

I suspect it is the first, not second thought. Since you are not ready for any permanent type relationship, you can go back to her, but realize she has a lot of maturing to go before she's a "keeper." She may be fun, but she's not the one.

Answer 5

Because most men would say that she is being emotionally manipulative... and maybe that's the truth. You need to talk to her and get her to be honest about why she is hesitating to say she is in a relationship with you. A year is long enough... it doesn't sound too good.

Answer 6

She IS sorry for what she may have inadvertantly done. My girlfriend believe it or not cries for no reason. I read in a book that the thing to to is not to try and fix the problem, but to shut up. To a guy this makes NO sence. Try crawling out of your thick skull and crawling into her's. What she NEEDs you to do is not to fix it, but to shup up and put your arm around her shoulders and comfort her. No offense, but when a girl cries because of you, your problem is insignifcant.

Answer 7

Could be a couple things. She may feel guilty you heard it. She may have said it because she didn't want her friend to know her true feelings for you. Either way, she knows she shouldn't have done it.

Ask her why she said it. But you probably should move on.

Answer 8

She might be confused about her emotions which could have caused her to cry. She also might have felt really badly about hurting you. If I make my boyfriend mad, I think I feel worse than he does half the time.

Good luck.

Answer 9

She probably feels guilty for doing that to you. When I do something like that, I cry too. I get scared that I somehow damaged the relationship with my actions.

Answer 10

Because she's sorry ,maybe.You 2 ever talked about stuff like that before?dont put too much into it,you're supposed to be her friend anyways,so she wasn't wrong.Stop being insecure...you are..