She refuses to take the class and I don't know what to do. I've spoken to her in every possible way about it, I've told her there is nothing to be afraid but nothing seems to work. What should I do?
2007-10-31 03:32:25 · 10 answers · asked by clare 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
I really appreciate all of your advices. I am sure they will be very useful. Every answer is a very good one so I still don't know which the best is. Why don't you vote and pick one?! Thank you, guys. God bless you all.
2007-10-31 10:40:58 · update #1
My youngest daughter was exactly the same way in kindergarten. Her personality is such that anything different takes a long time to get used to. Your daughter has to go to school. There should be no allowing her to stay home just in case her regular teacher isn't there. Our daughter used this plea a lot and it tugged at our heart-strings, but we sent her off anyway, sometimes kicking and screaming the whole way. At our parent teacher conference we spoke with our daughter's teacher about her fear of having a substitute teacher. What we worked out is she would leave a note for the sub teacher asking her to give our daughter a bit of patience and extra care and to let her know that there would likely be a flood of tears from her that day. We didn't tell our daughter that, but we would just try to encourage her to always have a fun day and we would see her after school. Our daughter is now 10 years old and in the 5th grade. Even now, sub teachers throw her off for the day and it can still bring tears sometimes. At 5 years old, we could have told her all day long she would be fine and there was nothing to be afraid of, but it wouldn't have done any good. I suggest you not talk about it too much as that would often get my daughter upset as well. It may be something she just has to outgrow and there isn't too much you can do about it except be encouraging and patient as she works through this stage.
2007-10-31 06:21:03 · answer #1 · answered by sevenofus 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
This is a good and a bad thing. It shows that she has a strong bond with her teacher which should make you feel good.
On the other hand, if she cannot adjust without her teacher, she is emotionally attached, and may have separation anxiety.
Maybe on the days her teacher is out, you could sit with her for a few minutes in the morning and have her draw a picture or write a letter to the teacher to give her when she comes back. Maybe that will give her something to focus on and look forward to. Maybe you can let her pick out a doll/object/picture that reminds her of teacher, and let her keep that only on the days her teacher is out. Explain to her that her teacher will be right back and that until then, her teacher doll/object/picture with have to fill in for the day.
You may also want to take a look at why she is feeling this way. Who takes over the classroom when her teacher is out? Does she feel safe with them. It may not help if its a different substitute every time. And, how often is her teacher out? How is she with the other children in the class? Does she like being with them?
Also, it may be difficult, but sometimes, you just have to walk away, and let them deal with it. I've seen teachers tell parents to leave so they can get the child under control. It's sometimes easier without the parents there.
Good luck.
2007-10-31 03:44:44 · answer #2 · answered by MOMof2 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
LOL Well, at least you can assume her teacher is kind to her.
My son's kindergarten teacher tells them when she knows she'll be out for a day. She goes over how they are supposed to behave for the substitute teacher, and that she would be very happy to come back the next day and see that all of "her babies" have been good for the substitute. My son LOVES his teacher, so he sees it as a personal challenge to be especially good and to work hard, so he can make his teacher proud the next day.
Maybe you could use the same kind of incentive for your daughter. See if her teacher will sit down with her and tell her that it would mean a LOT if she would work super extra hard to be happy and to learn on the days when she isn't able to be there. Then your daughter can tell her all about what she did while the teacher was out.
2007-10-31 05:07:10 · answer #3 · answered by CrazyChick 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My daughter was like this, she wouldn't necessary cry alot but she would defiantly get anxiety about having a substitute teacher.
I spoke to the teacher about it, and the teacher decided she would give the kids advanced notice when she was going to absent (most of time, they know the days they won't be there).
Write a note to the sub to give her notice that your daughter has anxiety about substitute teachers. A little heads up and I am sure she will make it point to be xtra kind to your little one.
After a few times of having a substitute hopefully she won't be so afraid. It scary when things are different then what a little one is used to.
2007-10-31 03:43:25 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
It's something that has to be done anyway so go ahead and make her stay at the school.. My little girl's teacher missed 3 days in a row so winy butt was pissed off for 3 days straight.
Luckily, with most everyone being sick alot, winy butt has seen the substitute alot in the hallways, etc. and it didn't bother her last week when the same sub was there again..
Go figure!!
sevenofu makes sense too!
2007-10-31 10:48:00 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi Clare! it is difficult when they start crying, this occurs because they get quite attached to their teachers, have you tried perhaps getting some advice from a child psychologist? they helped my sister in law out as she had exactly the same problem with her little one, and she got some tips on how to talk to her child about it. Good luck mate.
2007-10-31 05:27:21 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your daughter is just afraid her teacher will probably never come back, and she does not want a new teacher. Just show her how much fun her substitue can be.
2007-10-31 04:03:24 · answer #7 · answered by SarahZ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take her anyway. She's just a little unsure of this whole school thing and when the teacher she's comfortable with isn't there she's scared. She'll get over it eventually.
2007-10-31 03:37:33 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
make her go anyway, eventually she will get used to it.
2007-10-31 03:40:42 · answer #9 · answered by Peter R 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Try homeschooling her until she is though grade K and possibly the 1st grade.
2007-10-31 05:17:50 · answer #10 · answered by Daughter of King Jesus 6 · 0⤊ 5⤋